


Applied Psychology

by blueraccoon



Category: NCIS
Genre: BDSM, F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-07-14
Updated: 2013-05-30
Packaged: 2017-12-13 12:08:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 62,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/824154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueraccoon/pseuds/blueraccoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Some things are innate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the fic I swore never to write, along with the _pairing_ I swore never to write. I should really, really know better by now. Kink warning, but then again this is me. If you're reading, you've probably already figured out it's not quite vanilla.

Title: Pavlovian Response  
Author: rebecca  
Rating: NC-17. Or something beyond that.  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby. Yes, you're reading that right. I'm going to go hide now.  
Summary: Some things are innate.  
Notes: This is the fic I swore never to write, along with the _pairing_ I swore never to write. I should really, really know better by now. Kink warning, but then again this is me. If you're reading, you've probably already figured out it's not quite vanilla.

To [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[**skripka**](http://skripka.livejournal.com/) , [](http://slashy-me.livejournal.com/profile)[**slashy_me**](http://slashy-me.livejournal.com/) , [](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/profile)[**crimsonquills**](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/)...you suck. This one's for you.

The buckle was new, and stiff, and Abby cursed as it refused to fasten. A loose strand of hair got caught in the metal and she yelped when it got yanked out of her head.

"Having problems?"

"Damnit, Gibbs, don't _do_ that to me!" Abby turned and glared at him. "The stupid thing's stuck."

"I thought you were already wearing one of these today. Want some help?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow.

"I was. This one's different--I'm going out tonight." With a sigh, she turned around again. "Can you fix it?"

She *felt* Gibbs' smile as he crossed the lab to her. "Is this comfortable?" he asked, holding it in place. His fingers brushed the back of her neck and--whoa, that was something she _so_ wasn't thinking about.

"It's--it's fine," she said, praying he didn't notice the strangled note in her voice.

He buckled the collar, making sure it was settled around her throat before letting go. And again, his fingers brushed over the nape of her neck. Abby couldn't quite hide the gasp that time. "Don't _do_ that!"

"Do what, Abs?"

She turned to look at him warily. There was a note in his voice she hadn't heard before, and when she saw his face her internal radar went off. That amused, not-quite-arrogant look--she'd seen that before. The last man she'd played with had the same look, just before..."Um--you're in my way," she managed.

Gibbs smiled and stepped out of the way, gesturing. "So where are you going tonight?"

"It's just a party. Nothing special." She tugged the bands out of her hair and ran her fingers through it. "And I'm going to be late."

"And we wouldn't want that," Gibbs said solemnly.

"Gibbs, what is going _on_?" Abby demanded. "What--" She shook her head. "What are you doing down here anyway?"

"I came to say goodnight," Gibbs said, walking over to her. "Is there a problem with that?"

"No sir," she said automatically, getting her coat.

Oh, holy _fuck_. Her head snapped up and she stared at Gibbs, realizing what she'd just said. "You--"

He smiled slightly. "That an automatic response or a trained one?"

"It--" Abby swallowed. "Your voice," she said shakily. "It--it was your voice."

"I know that. I'm asking if it was an automatic response or one you've learned."

"Both, s--" She caught herself that time. "Some things are innate."

"They are." Gibbs raised an eyebrow. "Don't look so surprised, Abby. Or did you think I was as clueless about sexuality as I am about popular culture?"

"I--I never thought about it." Abby's fingers tightened in the leather of her coat. "And this is a really, really weird discussion to be having here."

"It is." Gibbs smiled again. "Come," he said, holding out his hand. "I'll buy you a cup of coffee."

"I--the party--"

"Come have a cup of coffee with me," Gibbs said matter-of-factly.

She bit her lip. "Gibbs, what do you want?"

"I'd say it's more a question of what you want," Gibbs told her. "When was the last time you played, Abs--and meant it?"

"Not for a while," she admitted. "Lately it's just..." She shrugged. "Hasn't been worth it."

"McGee not enough?"

"Too vanilla. I mean, he's not _completely_ vanilla, but...not enough for me." Abby wrinkled her nose.

Gibbs took one step toward her, tipping her chin up with a finger. "I am," he said evenly.

Oh. God. Abby swallowed. "Gibbs--"

"Shh," he murmured. "One word, Abby. Yes or no?"

Her mouth was dry as dust. "Yes," she whispered, shivering all over.

Gibbs' finger stroked down her throat, pressing gently against the collar. He took the coat from her and held it out for her; automatically, she slipped her arms into the sleeves and picked up her bag.

"Do you need to call anyone at the party?" he asked. His hand settled in the small of her back as they walked to the elevator.

She shook her head. "No--it's a casual thing and I said I didn't know if I could make it."

"Good." Gibbs pressed the button for the elevator. He looked at her and his mouth quirked in a smile. "Besides," he said simply. "You'll have more fun with me."

It had been so long since she'd heard that casual arrogance in _anyone's_ voice, and to hear it from _Gibbs_ \--Abby closed her eyes, resisting the urge to kneel right then and there. It wasn't like she'd never thought about this, but to actually _have_ it...that was something entirely different.

He waited until they were in the car to say anything else. "Safewords?" he asked casually.

"Um. Stoplights. Red is stop, yellow slow down, green is good, blue is emotional."

Gibbs nodded. "Good." He glanced at her before merging onto the highway. "Do you want coffee?"

Her mouth was dry, but she shook her head. Caffeine was...probably not a good idea right about now.

"Thirsty?"

"A little," she admitted.

"Mmm. There's a bottle of water in the cup holder. Drink."

The bottle was unopened; she twisted off the cap and drank, swallowing about a third of the bottle at once before sighing. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"Finish it before we get home."

"Yes sir." And there it was again--but it wasn't exactly like she was going to back out now.

"So polite," Gibbs murmured. "You going to tell me that's instinctive too?"

"N-not entirely, sir." Abby kept her eyes in her lap.

He laughed softly. "Impertinence has its place, pet, but not here. Not now. Disobey me and you won't like the consequences."

She nodded, opening the water bottle and drinking again.

By the time they got to Gibbs' house, she'd finished the water and really needed to use the bathroom. Uncertain what to do, she looked at him as he guided her inside.

"Bathroom's upstairs," he told her. "First door on your right. Go take care of whatever you need--there's a spare toothbrush in the medicine cabinet. Then come to the bedroom. It's across the hall."

"Yes sir." She all-but ran up the stairs.

The emergency makeup wipes she carried in her bag came in handy; when she was done with everything else she dug them out and scrubbed the makeup off her face. They weren't great on her skin, but better that than having her makeup smear all over everything.

"You can put that down by the door," Gibbs said when she walked into the bedroom. "Along with your clothes." He was sitting in an armchair by the window, sleeves rolled up, watching her.

She bent to unlace her boots, feeling Gibbs' gaze like a sunlamp on the back of her neck. The lace caught and she swore at it under her breath before getting it loose and taking off one boot, then the other. The rest of her clothes followed in short order; she just hoped Gibbs didn't notice the way her hands trembled slightly as she unfastened her bra and set it down. Her panties were the last to go and then she stood by the bed, hands behind her back and eyes lowered.

"Good girl." GIbbs' voice was warm and it made her blush. "Come here."

Slowly, she walked over to him, still looking at the floor. She swallowed as his fingers traced over her cheek, down her throat, his hand closing around the back of her neck for one brief moment before sliding down her shoulder, skimming her breast. "Beautiful," he murmured. "Beautiful girl with a beautiful body." He stood and traced the tattoo on her left breast, his finger circling around her nipple but not quite touching it. Abby shivered, feeling it harden in response.

"Spread your legs."

Her face flushed from embarrassment, but she did as she was told. Gibbs ran one finger down her body, between her breasts, over her belly, stopping just short of her labia. "So smooth," he commented. "You're bare as a baby, aren't you?"

Abby swallowed. "I--I like it, sir," she whispered.

"Mmm." Without warning, his hand moved between her legs, squeezing her cunt. "I do too."

Oh God. Abby bit back a moan, swaying a little.

Gibbs chuckled softly and dragged his thumb over her clit. "I want to hear you," he told her. "But if you dare come before I let you, I'll turn your ass so red you won't sit for days."

"Y-yes, sir." Her voice was trembling a little.

His other hand tipped her chin up, just enough for her to meet his eyes. "Although you'd probably like that," he said with a hint of humor. "Wouldn't you?"

Abby blushed, dropping her eyes. "Yes, sir," she said, embarrassed. God, what was _wrong_ with her? She was never this shy with a new top.

But this wasn't just another new Dom. This was...Gibbs.

"I don't necessarily play for keeps," Gibbs said idly, his hand sliding around to cup the back of her neck. He smiled faintly, tightening his grip for a moment. "Unless you want me to."

Her breath caught in her throat. "I--sir, I don't--"

"Easy, pretty girl." Gibbs' voice was calm, matter-of-fact. "You don't have to decide now."

Abby nodded. "Thank you, sir." She took a deep breath, forcing herself to relax. It wasn't like she'd never played the game before. She knew what she was doing.

"Look at me."

She did. Her knees nearly buckled at the predatory hunger she saw in Gibbs' eyes and she whimpered involuntarily.

She had no idea what she was doing. Forget all her experience, everything she'd done...Gibbs was so far out of her league it wasn't funny. She'd never seen _anyone_ that focused on her before and it was nearly enough to make her come then and there.

His hand slid into her hair, tugging her head back. "Pretty girl," he murmured. "You'll let me do anything to you, won't you?"

Abby couldn't manage to speak. It was warm in Gibbs' bedroom but she was shivering, her skin prickled with goosebumps. His hand was a little rough between her legs, holding her firmly; she was so wet her thighs were sticky and she was ready to fly apart just from this.

She closed her eyes when he kissed her. It was the only way she could keep from coming.

When he pulled away, her mouth felt swollen and she had to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from begging. Her cunt was on fire, her nipples hard as steel; she was so desperate for him she was willing to do anything. Anything, so long as he let her come, so long as he fucked her. God, _please_...

Gibbs chuckled softly. "Begging already, pretty girl?" He tugged her earlobe between his teeth. "What if I say you can't come? What if I want to keep you just like this, hm?" He nuzzled her throat, nipping her just behind her jaw. "You're beautiful like this," he whispered. "You're soaking my hand, you're trembling under my touch--what would you do if I tied you to the bed, if I kept you on edge like this all night?"

She had no doubt he could do it. No doubt he _would_ , if he wanted. "Please," she whispered, her throat dry. "Sir, please..."

His hand tightened around the back of her neck at the same time two fingers pushed into her. Abby cried out, gasping for breath. "Is this what you want?" he asked, his thumb flicking over her clit. "You want to come, pretty girl?"

"Anything," she managed, her breath shallow. "Sir..."

Gibbs laughed softly and pulled his hand away. The loss of his touch was enough to make her fall to her knees.

"Now that's a good look on you," he said approvingly. "And if I didn't want to see you under my hand, I'd let you stay there."

Abby heard the rustle of fabric but didn't look up. She took a deep breath, then another, trying to convince her body to calm down a little, to back away from that edge.

"On the bed, pretty girl. On your knees. Face the headboard."

So much for that. She moved, keeping her legs spread and her hands behind her back. Her eyes stayed down, looking at the solid blue comforter and the crisp white pillowcases. From behind her, she heard movement, heard the sound of a drawer opening and closing and the slide of fabric against fabric. She didn't look.

The leather cuffs Gibbs fastened around her wrists weren't a surprise. Neither was the careful way he tugged them, making sure they weren't too tight or too loose. She still tested them instinctively before relaxing into it. "Tell me if that gets uncomfortable, pretty girl," Gibbs said, stroking her back.

She nodded. "I will, sir."

"Good girl." He kissed her shoulder before settling the pillows in front of her. She didn't need his hand on the back of her neck to know he wanted her to lean forward, ending up with her breasts against the comforter and her ass in the air.

Gibbs stroked her back again, one finger tracing the tattoo in the small of her back. "I think I like you better this way than on your knees," he commented. "Spread out and open for me, that beautiful ass of yours just _waiting_ for my hand--or whatever else I want to use on you, really. And you're so desperate for it."

Abby heard the smile in his voice and shuddered.

"I'd love to leave you like this," he said idly, his finger dipping between her cheeks, tracing her labia. "I might just have to do that one of these nights. I'd tie your legs apart, bring you _right_ to that edge...and watch. And every time you eased back from that edge I'd bring you right back. How long do you think it would take before you couldn't take it? How long before you came?"

She prayed he didn't actually want an answer, because she didn't think she could speak.

"Or I could take you at work. You've got that wonderfully handy supply cabinet off the lab--maybe I'd take you in there one afternoon, push you up against the wall, and fuck you. Leave you wanting, wet for me--you wouldn't come from my cock in you, but if you were a good girl I might let you fuck yourself on my fingers until you came." Gibbs pinched one of her lips, then the other, making her whimper. "But that would be later."

Oh God, she was never going to be able to get new test tubes again.

"But we can discuss that later. For now..." Gibbs smoothed his hand over her ass. "Come from this and you'll regret it," he warned her, right before he brought his hand down.

She gasped, arching under the blow. It stung and it burned and it took her another few spanks to start to relax into it, moving into it instead of away. "That's it," she heard Gibbs murmur, but she couldn't pay much attention to anything other than his hand. She heard herself whimpering, crying out, tears in her eyes from the stinging feel.

He paused, dipping his hand between her legs to stroke her cunt, tease her clit. "You must love being fucked," he murmured, stroking her thighs. "Any time I bring my hand near you you're pushing back onto it. Do you, pretty girl? Do you like the feel of a thick cock inside you?"

Abby nearly whined. "Y-yes, sir," she managed.

"Good." Gibbs brought his hand down again and she cried out in surprise. "Because I could get used to fucking you, pretty girl. I could really get used to having you spread your legs for me and bend over whenever I told you to."

His hand came down again and again, spanking her in earnest. She squirmed against it, half-sobbing against the soft comforter. Her ass burned and when he landed a blow on her upper thigh she cried out. It was almost too much but right before she was ready to say yellow he stopped completely. "Easy," he murmured, rubbing the heat into her ass. "Easy. Such a good girl."

She sighed a little, relaxing against the pillows.

"Such a good girl," Gibbs murmured again. "I might just let you come tonight after all."

He uncuffed her wrists, rubbing them a little before placing each arm on the bed. Abby stretched them out, flexing her fingers. "Kneel up," Gibbs told her. "Hands behind your neck."

Abby pushed herself up, linking her fingers together behind her neck. "Spread your legs more," Gibbs said evenly. "Don't make me tell you again."

"Sorry, sir," she whispered, shifting her knees further apart. She felt the strain in her thighs and ignored it.

"I want to be able to see you," he said matter-of-factly. "Which means you keep your clothes off and your legs open. Understand?"

She nodded, swallowing. "Yes sir."

"Good." Gibbs ran a hand over her breasts, his thumb brushing over her nipples. He pinched one of them hard enough to make her gasp before dropping his hand and pushing the pillows away. "You don't deserve my cock," he told her. "But I think I'm going to fuck you anyway, because I want to."

"Thank you, sir," she said softly.

"On your back. Arms over your head--do you need me to cuff you or will you stay still?"

"May I hold the headboard, sir?" Abby asked, looking at the wooden slats.

"Yes."

"I can stay still, sir."

"Then don't move." Gibbs slapped her sore ass and she jumped. "On your back, pretty girl."

Her ass stung when she settled herself, reaching above her head to hold the slats. She spread her legs as wide as she could, watching Gibbs kneel between her thighs. He'd undressed before and God, the man looked good naked. Almost involuntarily, her eyes drifted lower, looking--oh, _fuck_ , he was going to feel so good inside her. Thick, hard, curved just a little--she swallowed.

"Like what you see?" he asked lightly.

Was that a rhetorical question? Abby bit her lip, unsure of how to answer. Fortunately, Gibbs just chuckled and rested a hand on her belly. He bent forward to kiss her, right between her breasts. "And--ah. There we are." He reached into his nightstand, taking out a condom packet. Abby watched him open it and roll it on, her mouth going dry.

"Ask me nicely," he told her. "And I'll give you the fucking you're so desperate for."

"Sir...please..." Abby had to swallow to be able to speak. "Fuck me. Please."

He shifted his weight, his cock pressing against her. "I want to feel you come around me," he said in a low voice, right before he drove into her.

She was so ready for him, he was able to push all the way inside in one hard thrust. Abby moaned, wrapping her legs around his waist to try and pull him deeper. She arched up under him, hands clenching around the headboard.

Fast, hard, rough--he was giving her exactly what she needed, exactly what she'd wanted since he'd brushed his fingers over her neck in the lab. She moaned and tightened her legs, moving with him, panting for breath. So close--she wasn't going to last much longer, and just as she realized that her orgasm ripped through her and she cried out.

He didn't stop, didn't even pause, driving her closer to the edge again. "Please--sir--oh, God--" Abby's head thrashed on the pillow. She had no idea what she was saying, if in fact she was saying anything at all. Her body was tightening, coiling, desperate for release.

"Not yet," he ground out without breaking rhythm. "Not yet."

Abby half-sobbed, twisting against him. Her legs ached with the strain of keeping them around his waist, her hands hurt from the way she was holding the wood. She heard Gibbs breathing harshly, his mouth hot against her shoulder. God, it was so good, she never wanted it to end and if she didn't come soon she was going to explode.

"Now," he said after what seemed like forever. "Touch yourself if you need to--do it, pretty girl. Now."

Her hand slid down between her legs and at the first brush of her fingers over her clit she nearly screamed, coming so hard her world greyed out. She fell back against the bed, panting; her hearing returned just in time for him to groan and thrust one last time into her, warmth filling the condom.

As he pulled out of her carefully and got rid of the condom, her legs fell limply to the bed. Her left hand was still clenched around the headboard. She couldn't manage to unwrap her fingers; Gibbs chuckled softly and peeled her hand away from the wood, kissing her palm. "Did I break you, pretty girl?" he asked lightly.

"Mmf."

Gibbs laughed again. He flicked on the little lamp on the nightstand and got up, turning off the overhead. "Under the covers, pretty girl," he said, tugging them back. "I think I'm keeping you tonight."

Given that she could barely _move_ , that sounded like an excellent idea. As it was, Gibbs had to help her get settled, her head on his chest. She was asleep before he even turned off the bedside lamp.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sequel to [Pavlovian Response](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/386306.html), which at the time was the fic I swore I wouldn't write. I'm not sure what happened. Unbeta'ed, written as a present for [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[**skripka**](http://skripka.livejournal.com/) and [](http://slashy-me.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://slashy-me.livejournal.com/)**slashy_me** (if she wants it).

Title: Behavioral Conditioning  
Author: rebecca  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby (God help me)  
Summary: You get three.  
Notes: Sequel to [Pavlovian Response](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/386306.html), which at the time was the fic I swore I wouldn't write. I'm not sure what happened. Unbeta'ed, written as a present for [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[**skripka**](http://skripka.livejournal.com/) and [](http://slashy-me.livejournal.com/profile)[**slashy_me**](http://slashy-me.livejournal.com/) (if she wants it).

There were some days that even caffeine couldn't help.

Abby glared at the mostly empty Big Gulp in front of her and turned back to her computer. If she didn't get Gibbs the results he _wanted_ in the next hour, he'd--well, she wasn't sure exactly what he'd do but she was pretty sure it wouldn't be good. And not in that fun punish--no, wait, she wasn't going to think about that. It had been one night. One insane, completely surreal night, about which they hadn't spoken since.

That was good. That was what she wanted.

Really.

She wanted what she had. Casual dates with random guys, occasionally something more--okay, so she was ignoring the last three...no, four guys she'd tried to date. None of them had worked out. None of them had come _close_ to giving her what she wanted.

_Warm hands, rough with calluses, stroking over her body, the way he'd just--_ Abby shook her head fiercely. It had just been one night, damnit!

"Something fly into your pigtails?" Tony asked from the door.

She bit back the snarl and reached for her soda instead. "What do you want?" she asked, trying to keep it as non-surly as possible.

Tony held up his hands. "Whoa, don't bite my head off. Gibbs sent me down--"

"Tell GIbbs," Abby ground out, "that I will come up there when I have his damned results and if he sends you or Kate or McGee down here to find them before that I will pour sulfuric acid over the whole fucking batch!"

"--to tell you we've got a little more time," Tony finished warily.

Oh. Abby buried her face in her hands. "Thanks," she said through her fingers. "I'll bring it up when it's done."

"Okay. Um. You...need more soda? Or something?"

She shook her head, not looking up. "Sorry, Tony," she said, dropping her hands. "It's...been a long week."

"Yeah." He hesitated in the doorway. "If you need anything, Abs--"

"Go on back up, Tony. I'll be okay."

After a moment, he nodded and left.

The rest of the day didn't get much better.

By the time she got home, she was so frazzled she was on the verge of tears. A hot shower didn't help; neither did the half-pint of Godiva ice cream she ate in lieu of dinner. It was just...one thing after another and she had no idea why this was getting to her so much.

She curled up on the couch, wrapped in the thick terry robe her brother had given her for Christmas, resting her head on the squashy arm. For a moment, she wished she hadn't broken it off with Darren. Yeah, he'd been a jerk, but it would be nice to have _someone_ hold her tonight.

When she picked up the phone, she stared at it for a moment, unsure what she was doing or why. As she dialed, she still couldn't find an answer.

"Gibbs." His voice was as brusque as ever, despite the fact that he had to have seen her caller ID.

"Hi," she said. "Um."

"What's going on, Abby?" he asked matter-of-factly.

"Nothing. This--I'm sorry. I don't know why--"

"Abby," he interrupted. "What's wrong?"

She sighed. "Ever have one of those days when nothing goes right?"

Gibbs laughed softly. "I've had years like that. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I guess. I'm just...I don't know why I called. I'm sorry. I--"

"Abby," he said, interrupting her again. "Breathe, pretty girl."

Oh God. He hadn't--that was what he'd--Abby shuddered.

"Here's what you're going to do for me," Gibbs told her. "You're going to unlock your door and go into your bedroom--you _do_ have something to sleep in other than the coffin, correct?"

"Yes, sir," she whispered.

"Good. I want you to change the sheets and make the bed. If you haven't showered, do so. Strip. You may lie down, but don't fall asleep. I'll be there in half an hour."

He hung up without giving her a chance to say anything.

Abby put the phone down slowly and just stared at it for a moment before getting up and going to do as he'd told her.

She had a fresh set of sheets in the linen closet, thankfully. They were 350-count, pure cotton, black; she smiled a little as she made the bed, settling the black and white comforter neatly into place. When she was done and the bed--and the room--were as neat as she could make them, she hung up her robe and stretched out on the bed, head resting on her crossed arms and her legs spread. She was pretty sure Gibbs would be annoyed if he came in and her legs were together.

She didn't know how long it was, not that it mattered. She didn't sleep, didn't doze, but she did settle down, beginning to relax for the first time all day.

When she heard the door open, she didn't look, just waited until Gibbs walked into the room, stopping by the bed. "Pretty girl," he said affectionately, running his fingers down her back. "Are you going to be my good girl tonight?"

"Yes sir," she whispered.

"Mmm." Gibbs stroked her thighs, coming close to her cunt but not quite touching it. "You haven't had much luck with your boy toys lately, have you, pretty girl?"

"No, sir," Abby said glumly.

He laughed. "You know why, pretty girl. They can't give you what you need. Sure, they'll try, but they can't succeed. You're too much for them."

One finger slid between her legs, teasing her entrance. "This is two," he said evenly. "You get three times, pretty girl. After that, you're mine."

Abby shuddered, swallowing. "Yes sir," she managed.

His finger dipped deeper, trailing up to press against her clit. "I almost took you at work today," Gibbs said, his finger circling her clit slowly. "Almost took you into that storage closet and fucked you hard and fast. You were begging for it; you'd have come in seconds if I had. Do you know why I didn't, pretty girl?"

She shook her head. "No, sir."

"Because it had to be your choice. _Your_ choice to call me. Just like it'll be your choice next time. Or not, if you decide not to ask." He pulled his hand away. "Where do you keep your toys, pretty girl?"

"The armoire, sir. Next to the closet."

She heard him move and turned her head to watch him open the doors. "Quite the collection you've got here," he commented dryly. "You use all these, pretty girl?"

"Mostly, sir. Some were joke gifts. I used to collect, back in college."

Gibbs laughed. "I'm sure you did. Just like I'm sure you didn't stop once you graduated. What was your first one, pretty girl?"

"Second from the right, bottom shelf, sir," she said immediately. Clear red plastic, a simple vibrator that ran on two 'C' batteries, it was still one of her favorites.

"Mmm. Good beginner's toy." Gibbs looked at her and smiled slightly. "But this..." He picked up one of her glass dildos, turning it in his hands. "This is beautiful, pretty girl. Do you like it?"

"Yes sir."

"Good." He set it down carefully. "How do you feel about sensory deprivation, pretty girl?"

Abby swallowed. "I like it, sir," she admitted.

He nodded. "Close your eyes."

She did, shivering a little as he blindfolded her. "Can you see anything?" he asked.

"No sir." Abby blinked her eyes behind the fabric, shaking her head a little to make sure it was secure.

"Good. Kneel up, hands behind your neck. And if I have to tell you to spread your legs, you're not going to like the consequences."

"Yes sir." She knelt up instantly, spreading her legs as wide as she could, her hands linked behind her neck.

"Good girl." Gibbs traced a line down her back, gently squeezing her ass. "Get used to this position, pretty girl. I like you like this." His hand slid between her legs, cupping her firmly. "So eager," he murmured. "Such a hungry little girl."

Abby bit her lip, swallowing hard.

"Do you like this as well?" His hand traced back to her ass, one finger pressing at her hole. "You've got a beautiful ass, pretty girl. Do you like getting it fucked?"

"S-sometimes, sir."

He laughed softly and smacked her ass. "Now that's something I might have to do someday," he said, his hand idly trailing over her body. "I'd plug your ass in the morning, make sure you were stretched and ready for me, so I could come down and fuck your ass whenever I wanted. Or I'd leave the plug in and fuck your cunt. You're so hungry for it, aren't you? You'd take anything, anywhere from me."

Abby whimpered. Her cunt was soaked already, her nipples hard as glass, and he'd barely touched her. God, she was going to come as soon as he touched her clit.

Gibbs pinched her nipple and she gasped. "Let's see what we can do with these," he murmured, twisting her nipple before letting go. "What have you got in your cabinet..." It sounded like a rhetorical question, and she didn't bother answering.

She heard _something_ clink but wasn't sure what. And then his mouth was on her nipple, licking and sucking and she moaned, arching her back. "That's it," Gibbs murmured, tugging gently with his teeth. "And..." He slid the clamp on, tightening it efficiently. "Now for the other one."

Abby whimpered when he fastened that one; the chain was just short enough that it pulled every time she breathed, but the clamps were fastened securely enough that they didn't slip. She found herself breathing shallowly to try and ease the burn and got herself a slap on the ass for her trouble.

"Breathe, pretty girl." Gibbs' voice left no room for anything but obedience. "Now...let's see what else to do with you tonight."

The worn fleece of her leather cuffs settled around her wrists comfortably as he locked them into place, fastening them together behind her neck.

"Beautiful," he said softly, stroking her breasts. "Absolutely beautiful." He tugged the chain lightly before skimming his fingers down her belly, between her legs, pinching her clit. Abby moaned, trying to arch into his hand.

Gibbs kissed her gently. "Be a good girl and I'll let you come," he murmured against her lips. "If you're a _very_ good girl, I'll let you suck me."

She swallowed, licking dry lips. "I'll behave, sir, I promise," she whispered.

"Good girl. Don't move--I'll be right back."

Abby waited anxiously, not sure what he was doing. She heard some muffled noises, then footsteps, but she couldn't figure out what was going on. By the time the footsteps returned, she was trembling a little, afraid she'd done something wrong.

"Shh, pretty girl," Gibbs said soothingly, stroking her hair. "Shh. It's all right. You're fine."

"Yes sir," she managed.

"Good girl." He kissed her again, hard and fast. "Hands and knees."

The chain between the cuffs was long enough that she could raise her hands over her head, settling them on the bed in front of her. The clamps pulled on her breasts and she moaned a little.

"Spread your legs more."

Abby moved them apart hastily, blushing. "Sorry, sir."

The smoth leather that slid over her ass was familiar and she bit her lip, waiting for the paddle to come down. But when it did, it was light, almost gentle. The first few blows were like that; easy, light, letting her relax into it, get used to it.

And then it cracked down hard and she cried out, moving forward from the force of it. "Relax into it, pretty girl," Gibbs told her evenly. "Relax. I won't give you more than you can handle."

She closed her eyes, struggling to breathe evenly. Gibbs gave her a moment to calm herself before the paddle came down again, setting a fast hard rhythm that made her cry out with each blow. She couldn't keep still under it, twisting involuntarily.

Her slow word trembled on her lips but she forced it back. She could take this; she _wanted_ to take this for Gibbs, wanted to please him, but oh God it hurt and stung and she couldn't--

With a half-sob, she fell on her side, trembling. Tears burned behind her eyes, one slipping down her cheek. She curled into a ball, afraid to look at Gibbs, afraid of what she'd see.

Strong arms pulled her up, holding her against Gibbs' chest. "Shh," he whispered, rocking her. "Shh, pretty girl. It's all right. I'm not upset."

Abby buried her face in his shoulder. "I'm sorry--sir, I'm sorry, I tried--"

He kissed the top of her head. "Why didn't you safeword?" he asked quietly, not letting go of her.

"I didn't want--I couldn't--" Abby shook her head.

Gibbs stroked her back, holding her close. "Do you need to stop?" he asked softly. "Is this too much for you, Abby?"

"I--" She hesitated, afraid to say the wrong thing.

"Tell me what you need, pretty girl," Gibbs said, soft and even. "I can't give you what you need if you don't tell me what it is."

"I don't want to stop," she said shakily. "I just--I couldn't take that. It--"

"You haven't played hard in how long?"

Abby swallowed, counting. "Seven months," she said. "Not including...well, the last time with you."

"That wasn't playing hard. Not by your standards. Or mine." Gibbs was quiet for a moment. "I'm going to take the clamps off," he told her. "Ready?"

She nodded, taking a deep breath. Gibbs pulled the clamps off quickly and she cried out, hands flying up to cover her breasts. He didn't say a word, just held her until she was able to lower her hands. "That's it," Gibbs murmured, kissing her forehead. "That's my girl."

A spark of surprise--and pleasure--ran through her at the phrase. "Sir?" she asked hesitantly.

"Three times, pretty girl. This is two. Next time seals it." Gibbs kissed her lips gently. "You're not in the right headspace to think about it now, pretty girl. Don't. Just let it go. Let it all go."

Abby sighed a little and relaxed against him. The world was floating away, leaving her warm and safe and protected in Gibbs' arms. He kissed her again and all she could do was melt into it, yielding to him with a soft moan.

Gibbs unfastened the cuffs around her wrists and put them aside, but he left the blindfold on. "Lie down on your stomach," he told her. "Just relax, pretty girl. I'll take care of you."

She stretched out on her stomach, resting her head on her crossed arms. Gibbs ran a hand down her back, over her ass, and without his prompting she spread her legs. "Good girl," Gibbs murmured. "Just relax. Just let it all go."

He kissed her shoulders, the small of her back, his hands stroking over her skin. "Pretty girl," he whispered against her throat. "Pretty pliant girl."

His fingers slipped between her legs, spreading her open. "You're just begging to be taken, aren't you?" he asked with no hint of teasing.

Abby whimpered softly. "Sir..."

"Shh," Gibbs murmured. "You'll get what you need. You won't get my cock tonight--you didn't earn that, not with the way you tried to hold out on me. But I'll fuck you with one of your toys. Behave and I'll even let you come."

"Yes sir," she managed, biting back a moan.

He flicked her clit with one callused finger, rubbing lightly, enough to make her squirm. "I would love to see you like this at work," he said huskily. "Biting your lip, your nipples hard through your shirt, grabbing the chair to hold on and not come with my fingers in you, on your clit, bringing you so close to orgasm that you can _see_ it. I wouldn't let you come--not at work, not like that. You'd have to earn it."

"Oh God--" The gasp was completely involuntarily.

"You like that idea, pretty girl? You like the idea of going on your knees for me in the bathroom, sucking me off on your lunch break? I could make you do that anytime, pet. Just like I could bend you over my arm and turn your ass red with my bare hand. Make you so desperate you'd do anything for me, just to come." His fingers were teasing her, barely dipping inside her, circling her opening. His thumb rested on her clit, not rubbing it, just...there. "I could do so much with you," Gibbs said softly.

Abby whimpered again, trying not to push back onto his fingers. "Please," she managed. "Sir, please..."

He took his hand away and she moaned. She heard the clink of-- _something_ \--and then something hard and smooth and oh _God_ cold pushed inside her and she cried out, hands grabbing at the covers. Oh God oh God oh God the shock was enough to make her half mad. Cold against her heat, hard, that smooth ridge--it had to be that dildo from earlier, the one he'd admired.

"Ice bath," he said matter-of-factly, twisting it inside her. "These things cool down so nicely. Just enough to drive you crazy, not enough to actually hurt you. I wouldn't do that to you."

She moaned, squirming against it. "Please--oh God, please, I can't take it--"

Gibbs chuckled softly. "Don't lie to me, pretty girl."

"Oh God--sir, please--"

He pulled it out partially before shoving it back inside her, hard enough to make her cry out in need. "Turn over," he said abruptly.

She did, praying she'd get a reprieve, but he kept the dildo securely inside her until she was settled on her back. And then he took her hand and rested it on the base of the toy. "Fuck yourself with it," he said evenly. "I want to watch you."

Abby whined, squirming against the cold she couldn't get away from. "I can't--"

"Tell me that again and you won't come," Gibbs told her evenly. "I gave you an order, pretty girl. I expect you to obey it."

Her hand trembled as she took a firmer grip on the dildo, gasping a little at its smooth cold feel. She felt her face burning with embarrassment and for a moment she wasn't sure she _could_ do this, no matter what he wanted.

But God, she needed to come.

The dildo was slick and smooth; it was easy to fuck herself with it, easy to use, and the cold was slowly fading, replaced by heat and need and the overwhelming drive to come. One arm reached over her head to grab the iron headboard, giving her something to brace against, a way to hold on as she continued to fuck herself with the toy. "Please," she begged. "Please, sir, please..."

"Not yet. Ask again and it won't be at all."

She half-sobbed, fucking herself harder and faster, driving her body to that peak, praying he'd relent. Please, God, _please_...

He pulled the dildo out of her moments before she would have come. "You didn't think it was going to be that easy, did you?" he asked teasingly. "Kneel up, pretty girl. And keep your eyes closed so I can take off the blindfold."

She did, squeezing her eyes closed. The fabric slipped away and she kept her eyes closed for a little bit longer, blinking them open slowly. The only light in the bedroom was her little reading lamp but that was still bright to her eyes until they adjusted.

Gibbs knelt on the bed, facing her. He'd undressed and just like the last time, Abby's mouth went dry at the sight of him. "I want you to suck me off," he said, tracing her lips. "If you want me to use a condom, I will."

She didn't even need to think about it before she shook her head. "It's all right, sir," she said. "May I?"

He nodded.

Abby bent forward and took him into her mouth, sucking him eagerly. His hand rested on her neck, gently guiding her but not pushing her down. She couldn't take him all the way into her throat, but she took in as much of him as she could, swallowing around him, using her tongue, her lips, every trick she knew. God, she loved this.

Gibbs groaned deep in his throat. "That's it," he said thickly. "Make me come, pretty girl."

She kept working his cock, bobbing her head. Her cheeks hollowed as she sucked him harder, until she had to back off a moment to breathe and swallow. Her jaw ached but she ignored it; it didn't matter. She wanted him-- _needed_ him--to come. That was the important thing.

His hand tightened in her hair and he groaned, thrusting up once into her mouth as he came. Abby swallowed, licking her lips as she raised her head. "Did I--"

"Yes," he said, stroking her cheek. "Good girl."

She ducked her head, blushing with pleasure. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Gibbs move to sit against the headboard. He held out a hand. "Come here, pretty girl," he said.

Abby blinked, hesitating just for a moment.

"Come here, pet," he repeated. She took his hand and he pulled her into his lap, kissing her hard. He reached down to squeeze her cunt, his fingers pushing into her and his thumb rubbing her clit. "Come for me," he whispered. "Come on my fingers, just like this. All pliant and supple and willing to do anything for me--come for me, pretty girl, show me how much you want this."

She moaned, her head falling back. "Oh--I--oh--oh God--" Orgasm slammed into her so hard her world greyed out and she wasn't even sure if she'd screamed.

From the slight smile on Gibbs' face when she opened her eyes, she had.

"C'mere, pretty girl," he murmured, getting them under the covers and holding her close. "C'mere."

She was utterly wrecked, exhausted physically and emotionally, and for a long while she just buried her face in his shoulder and shook in his arms, letting him hold her and murmur to her. "I've got you," he said over and over again, stroking her hair. "Just let it go."

"Thank you," she whispered finally, not looking up. "I--I'll be--"

"Asleep in a minute," Gibbs said, turning off the light. "Did you think I was leaving?"

"I didn't--I wasn't sure you wanted--" Abby blushed.

He kissed her forehead. "Sleep, pretty girl. I've got you."

With a little sigh, she did as she was told.


	3. Involuntary Reaction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That's my girl.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third. Last. I'm done. Sequel to [Pavlovian Response](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/386306.html) and [Behavioral Conditioning](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/391209.html). Gibbs set me up for this one in the last fic, damn him, so I had to write this. And now that I've gotten it out of my system, I'm going back to my slash.

Title: Involuntary Reaction  
Author: rebecca  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby  
Summary: That's my girl.  
Notes: Third. Last. I'm done. Sequel to [Pavlovian Response](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/386306.html) and [Behavioral Conditioning](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/391209.html). Gibbs set me up for this one in the last fic, damn him, so I had to write this. And now that I've gotten it out of my system, I'm going back to my slash.

_You get three times._ Abby's hands were steady as she capped the solvent bottle and put it away before throwing out her gloves. She went to her computer, pulling up the test results, managing to look completely calm and professional on the outside--well, as much as she ever did. _Next time seals it._

Two weeks ago, and she hadn't been able to stop thinking about it, about that night. The embarrassment of falling apart like that had faded, replaced by the memory of the warmth and safety she'd felt in his arms. God, she wanted that again, but...did she really want it to be for real?

_Next time, you're mine._ A shudder ran through her and she swallowed.

"Hey, everything okay?" Tony came around the corner; Abby nearly jumped before taking the Big Gulp he held out.

"Yeah, everything's fine. Solvent fumes getting to me." She sucked down some of the soda and put it down on the counter. "What's going on upstairs?"

"Same old, same old. Gibbs is on his fourth cup of coffee, Kate's got a bee in her bonnet about something, and McGee..." Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm waiting for Gibbs to send him down here to fiddle around with Petty Officer Stuart's computer, since he's all but useless upstairs."

"You're too hard on him," Abby said mildly. She took another long pull of the soda and turned back to her computer. "He really is smart, you know."

"And once he stops being afraid of his own shadow, he'll be a good agent." Tony shrugged. "He's getting better."

"Mm-hmm. So...four cups of coffee? That doesn't bode well."

"No, and I don't know why. Something's on his mind."

_Third time's the charm_ , a little voice whispered in Abby's brain. She shrugged. "It's probably just a Gibbs thing. You know how he is."

"Yeah. Anyway--you having any luck with Stuart's personal effects?"

"They're over on the table. Haven't found much yet but I haven't gone over them in any detail." Abby nodded toward the row of bags. "Feel free."

"Thanks." Tony pulled on a pair of gloves and began sorting through them, quiet for the moment. "Hey, Abs," he said after a minute.

"Yeah?"

"You know you can talk to me if something's going on, right?" Tony looked up at her. "I mean--Kate can say what she wants, but you know you can talk to me. Right?"

Abby put down her soda and turned around. "I know. But why are you bringing this up?"

Tony looked worried for a moment. "I don't want you getting in over your head," he said finally. "And--well--"

"I'm a big girl, Tony. I can take care of myself." Despite her words, Abby was worried. What did Tony know--and how did he know it? This did not bode well.

"I know that, but..." Tony sighed. "Look, Abs, I may be entirely off base here. But you've been acting just a little different over the past few weeks, and I'm not so blind as to see it's mostly around Gibbs. I'm not asking what happened, I don't want or need to know unless you decide to tell me. But I don't want you to get yourself into something you can't get out of."

For a long moment, she just stared at him, unable to think of anything to say. "How much do you know?" she asked hoarsely.

"I don't. Not for certain. I just know that _something's_ going on, and it involves you and Gibbs. And I know how you play, and..." Tony grimaced. "I've been around the scene long enough to recognize a Dom when I see one--not that it's exactly hard to miss."

"It was only twice," she whispered.

"So far." Tony put down the bag he was pretending to study. "What happens next time?"

_Next time, you're mine._ "I...I don't think there's going to be a next time," Abby said shakily.

He just looked at her.

"Oh God, Tony..." Abby slumped against the counter. "Three times, he said. Three times, and..."

"And it's been two already." Tony came around the table to her. "Abby, do you have any idea what you're doing?"

She shook her head. "I don't have a clue. And I don't know whether to run away and never come back...or..."

"How much do you want it?" Tony asked.

Abby closed her eyes, remembering the feel of his hands on her skin. His mouth. The even, measured way he'd spoken to her, telling her what he wanted from her. "I'm in trouble," she whispered. "Tony, I'm in so much trouble."

"Want a hug?"

With a sigh, she stepped forward, resting her forehead against his shoulder. He held her for a long moment before kissing her head and letting go. "If it's what you want, then be happy," Tony said quietly. "If it's not what you want, then don't let him talk you into it."

"He won't," Abby said, shaking her head. "He's left it up to me both times."

"Good." Tony smiled a little. "Be happy, Abs. If this is what you want, then be happy."

"DiNozzo!" There was no mistaking that bark; Abby jumped before turning back to her computer. "I sent you down here fifteen minutes ago. What are you still doing here?"

"I had to ask Abby a question about some evidence, Boss," Tony said blithely. "You need me upstairs?"

Gibbs just _looked_ at him. Tony grinned. "Right." He didn't quite duck Gibbs' cuff upside the head on his way out of the lab.

"How's that coming?" Gibbs asked, nodding at the computer.

She grimaced. "It's kind of hinky. Whoever handled this computer after Stuart did something to the hard drive and it's taking me a while to un-wipe the wipe. I can _do_ it, but it's taking a little longer than I thought it would. Not to mention--"

"Abs," he interrupted. "Just tell me when it's done." Despite his words, he was smiling a little.

"Sorry, s--" Abby shook her head. "No problem."

"It's your choice," he said quietly. "Your decision."

She swallowed and turned to the monitor. "I know."

Gibbs rested a hand on her shoulder. "Take your time to think about it. I'm not going to make you make up your mind right this instant."

"What if I want you to?" she whispered.

"Abby..." Gibbs' voice was a little huskier than usual. "Don't, Abby. Don't force yourself into deciding something if you're not sure."

"I want this, Gibbs, but--" Abby swallowed. "What if you don't?"

Gibbs laughed softly. "Pretty girl, trust me that I want this." He kissed her temple. "I'm not asking you to marry me," he murmured. "I'm asking you if you want to be my girl."

She closed her eyes. "I need--I don't know--"

"Think about it," he said softly. "I'm not asking you for a decision right now." He kissed her temple again. "You know where I'll be tonight."

The rest of the day passed somehow; Abby wasn't entirely sure how. She _knew_ she wasn't working up to her usual standard; fortunately, nothing they were dealing with was insanely urgent and if she had to, she could redo some of her tests tomorrow. And fortunately for her sanity, Gibbs stayed away from her the rest of the day, as did Kate.

Tony came down to the lab around seven, as she was getting ready to leave. "Walk you to your car?" he offered.

"Sure." She grabbed her coat and slung her bag over her shoulder, bumping against Tony as they headed to the elevator.

"What'd you decide?" he asked, hitting the button.

She waited until they were inside to say anything. "He gave me an invitation. If I go to his place tonight..." Abby shrugged. "I don't know what'll happen if I don't."

"Are you going?"

Slowly, she nodded. "Yeah. I am."

"Just be careful, Abby. And I'm not talking about condoms."

Abby leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. "I will. I promise."

The drive to Gibbs' house went by in a blur, but she didn't see his car when she parked outside. With a mental shrug, she walked up to the front door; unsurprisingly, it was unlocked. There was a light on in the kitchen, but the rest of the house was dark. "Gibbs?" she called.

No one answered, and when she peeked her head down the basement stairs no one was there. Then she saw the note on the kitchen counter, written in Gibbs' distinctive handwriting.

_Last-minute lead on a case. I'll be back when I can. Make yourself comfortable, pretty girl--there's food in the fridge._

She smiled a little and went to the fridge, pulling out sandwich makings, along with a bottle of water. When she was done eating, she wiped down the counter and threw out her trash, stifling a yawn. God, but she was tired.

It was more effort than she wanted to think about to go upstairs and get out of her clothes, falling down on the neatly made bed. She grabbed a spare pillow and curled around it, closing her eyes without even bothering to turn off the light.

***  
By the time he got home, it was after eleven and he was honestly surprised to see Abby's car in front of his house. He let himself in and--for once--locked the door behind himself before taking a quick look around downstairs. She wasn't there, although the light was still on in the kitchen.

The thought of food wasn't appetizing, but water sounded too good to pass up. He took a bottle out of the fridge and twisted off the cap, drinking long and deep. Once his thirst was quenched for the moment, he took another bottle out and closed the fridge. She wasn't downstairs, and he doubted she was in the basement, which meant she was upstairs.

And sure enough, she was curled up on his bed, her hair fanned out against the pillows, sound asleep. She'd undressed, her clothes piled in a heap in the corner. Gibbs smiled, shaking his head. "Pretty girl," he murmured. "My pretty girl."

He pulled his shirt and his undershirt off, tossing them into the hamper as he kicked off his socks and shoes and undid his belt. It slithered through the loops of his pants and he looked at it thoughtfully for a moment, imagining the red stripes it would leave against Abby's pale skin, before putting it down. Not tonight; not for a while, if last time was any indication. She needed careful handling; he'd need to get inside her head before he would take her that far.

When he finished undressing, he slid into bed behind her, drawing her into his arms. She sighed a little and snuggled back against him, her body soft and pliant under his touch. "Pretty girl," he murmured again, kissing her throat.

"Mmm..." Abby made a low sound, almost a purr, and stretched lazily. Gibbs knew the instant she woke up--she tensed all over before relaxing, realizing where she was. "Hi," she said shyly.

"Tired, pretty girl?" he asked, settling her more firmly against him.

"I was, sir. A little."

"It's all right. Do you want to go back to sleep?" What he had in mind could wait, and if she needed to sleep...

Abby shook her head. "I slept for a few hours, sir. I'm fine."

Gibbs kissed her throat again. "I like seeing you naked," he said softly. "When you're with me, you'll stay that way. Clothes off and legs open, pretty girl. Understand?"

"Yes sir," Abby whispered.

"I'm not a harsh master, pretty girl, but I do expect to be obeyed. I don't have many ground rules--break the ones I do and you won't like the consequences."

"Sir...what rules are there?" She sounded a little skittish, probably afraid he'd make her learn by trial and error.

"Not many. Clothes off, legs open. I expect obedience--I don't want a meek, timid girl in my bed, but push me too far and you'll regret it. And as long as you're my girl, your body is mine. You don't touch yourself, you don't come unless I give you express permission. I'll leave the games alone at work unless I think you need it." Gibbs kissed her temple. His hands stroked her breasts and her belly, light enough to be arousing, firm enough to be soothing. "That's about it. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," Abby whispered with a shiver. She arched into his touch, sighing a little.

"I'll take care of you," he said quietly. "I'll give you everything you need, so long as you're mine."

"And if--"

He didn't need to be a profiler to know what was going through her mind. "If it doesn't work, we can discuss it then. But I don't want you to worry about it. Just relax, pretty girl. Just relax. I've got you. I'll take care of you."

Abby sighed a little; some of the remaining tension eased out of her body. "Good girl," he murmured, kissing her temple again. "That's my girl."

She twisted in his arms, leaning back to kiss him. He let her, shifting her so she faced him, holding her close. His hand ran down her back and up again, closing around the back of her neck. Abby gasped, shivering, and when he tightened his grip she moaned.

"You have no idea what I want to do with you," he said softly. "No idea what I _can_ do with you. You've played before, but that's all it was. You've been looking for something more for a long, long time, haven't you?"

Her lips parted slightly, her eyes falling closed. "That's it," Gibbs said, keeping his voice quiet and even. "Fall for me, pretty girl." He kissed her gently, his tongue flicking over hers.

She was down hard; he saw it from the subtle change in her breathing, the way her head fell back to expose her throat. He let go of her neck and ran his hands down her arms, pulling her wrists over her head and holding them. "I could cuff you like this," he said, squeezing her wrists. "Bind you like this, tie you to the bed, hold you down. But I'm not going to. Do you know why, pretty girl?"

Slowly, she shook her head. "No, Master," she whispered.

The honorific surprised him, probably more than it should have. She was _his_ girl now, after all, and she knew what that meant. He smiled slightly and kissed her as a reward; she yielded to him eagerly. "I'm not going to tie you because you're going to hold still for me," he said, pulling back slightly. "No matter what I do to you, you're going to hold still. Move, and I'll punish you. Stay still, and I'll reward you. Understand, pretty girl?"

"Yes, Master." Abby shivered a little, licking her lips instinctively.

Gibbs kissed her again, hard and deep, shifting his grasp on her wrists so he had one hand free and the other was wrapped around her thumbs, holding them in place. He rolled her onto her back, nipping at her jaw, her throat, smiling to himself at the way she shuddered under his touch. "Mine," he whispered against her skin.

Her legs fell apart and she arched under him, whimpering softly. He could feel her heat, smell the musk from her arousal; it made his mouth water. "Hold on to the headboard, pretty girl," he told her. "And don't move." Another time, he'd let her move, let her writhe under him and squirm under his touch, but not tonight. This was about control.

He slid down her body, kissing her breasts, tugging each rose-colored nipple between his teeth. Abby gasped when he did; she tensed but didn't move. Gibbs smiled to himself at the feel of her body going taut under him. He honestly wasn't sure she'd be able to keep still. If she didn't, they'd have to work on her control. If she did, they'd be free to work on other things.

When he reached her stomach, he nuzzled her skin, kissing her belly button and making her giggle. On a whim, he ran his fingers up her ribs and made her bite back a shriek, trembling with the effort not to move.

So. She was ticklish. Always a good thing to know.

He moved down a little more, spreading her legs wider, his hands on her thighs to keep her there. "Oh God," Abby whispered, apparently realizing what he was going to do.

"Don't move," he reminded her, right before he bent his head between her legs.

She tasted of salt and musk, silky wet heat on his tongue. He flicked his tongue over her clit, enough to tease, enough to make her whimper. No more than that. Not yet.

He took his time with her, tasting her, licking her, drinking her in a little more each time. He heard her whimpering, moaning, felt her shivering as she tried to stay still. "Please--Master, please--" Her husky voice was raspy now, ragged with need. "Master--"

Gibbs scraped his teeth over her clit in response; Abby cried out and her thighs flexed under his hands before she forced herself to lie back. He raised his head, licking his lips. "I told you not to move," he reminded her. "Am I going to have to tie you?"

"No, Master, I'll stay still, I promise..." Abby's hands were clenched so tightly around the headboard her knuckles were white. There was a fine sheen of sweat over her skin and her face was flushed.

"Don't promise something you can't do." He nipped her thigh as a warning. "Don't lie to me, pretty girl. If you can't do something, if I've given you an order you honestly can't obey, tell me. I'll push you, but not past what you can handle. Understand?"

She nodded shakily. "Yes, Master."

He knelt up between her legs, leaning down to kiss her. With one hand, he braced himself over her; his other slid down her body, between her legs, rubbing her clit lazily. "Don't come," he said softly. "Not until I'm inside you."

Abby whined a little in frustration, biting her lip. She didn't beg--smart girl, Gibbs thought with an inward smile. She _wanted_ to, but she didn't.

Damn, but he was going to have fun with her.

Much as he'd have liked to draw things out, this wasn't a night for that. He was tired, _she_ was probably exhausted, and it was better to save some things until after they'd discussed limits in a bit more detail. So he leaned down to kiss her again, nibbling at her lips, teasing her tongue with his own.

"Pretty girl," he whispered against her mouth. "My pretty girl."

Abby sighed a little, pressing as closely against him as she could. "Master," she breathed.

The condoms were in his nightstand; he had to pull his hand away from her clit to reach them and take one out before sitting back to open it and roll it on. "Move with me," he said softly. "Move with me, come for me...don't hold back now, pretty girl. Give me everything."

With one smooth push, he entered her. Abby cried out, arching under him. Her body was taut with need already and he knew it was going to take almost nothing to make her come. Then again, he could say the same for himself. His control was slipping already.

She wrapped herself around him, her legs around his hips and her nails scratching his back. Every time he thrust into her she clenched around him, shuddering and twisting. "Oh God--oh God--" Her breath caught in her throat; she was panting for air, every inhalation a desperate whine. "Oh--oh God--"

He was going to have nail marks in his skin for days from the way she dug in when she came, but damn if it didn't feel good. He kissed her again, hard and demanding, drinking in her soft moans as he drove her toward climax again. "C'mon, pretty girl," he murmured. "Come for me." He wasn't going to last much longer and he needed her to break before he let himself fall over that edge.

With a near-scream, she came again, her body going limp under his. Gibbs closed his eyes and let the demands of his body overtake him, pushing him harder and faster until he groaned and came inside her, his heart pounding.

He stayed inside her for a little while, just enjoying the feel of her around him. When he pulled out of her body, Abby made a soft sound of protest. He smiled and leaned down to kiss her before getting rid of the condom. "Pretty girl," he said softly.

She was completely out of it. Her eyes were closed, her body was lax against the bed, and he could see from her breathing that she was still floating. "Under the covers, pretty girl," he told her, pulling them back. "C'mon."

Abby didn't move; he wasn't sure she'd even _heard_ him. Gibbs chuckled softly and moved her, tucking her in. He slid in next to her and turned off the light before drawing her against him, kissing her forehead. "My girl," he murmured, stroking her hair. "Mine."


	4. Control Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't want her to get hurt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so remember when I said Involuntary Reaction was the last? I kind of lied. _This_ is the last in what is now called the Applied Psychology series. The others are [Pavlovian Response](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/386306.html), [Behavioral Conditioning](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/391209.html), and [Involuntary Reaction](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/393484.html). This one's...longer. And different, in a good way. I think.

Title: Control Theory  
Author: rebecca  
Rating: NC-17  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby...ish.  
Summary: I don't want her to get hurt.  
Notes: Okay, so remember when I said Involuntary Reaction was the last? I kind of lied. _This_ is the last in what is now called the Applied Psychology series. The others are [Pavlovian Response](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/386306.html), [Behavioral Conditioning](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/391209.html), and [Involuntary Reaction](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/393484.html). This one's...longer. And different, in a good way. I think.

with much, much love to [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[**skripka**](http://skripka.livejournal.com/) , who read this over before I posted it.

Tony looked nervous. This wasn't a good thing. Tony almost _never_ looked nervous.

Tony was walking toward him, which didn't bode well either. "DiNozzo? You got something for me?" he asked gruffly.

"Yeah. Kind of." Tony looked around at the dark, empty office. "You got a second?"

Gibbs leaned back in his chair. "What's on your mind, DiNozzo?" he asked.

He wasn't sure he'd ever seen Tony look quite that blend of nervous and determined before. "It's about Abby," Tony said abruptly.

Oh, shit. He should have known Tony would pick up on this. Kate hadn't, and he wasn't surprised by that; she didn't know enough about the scene and wouldn't think of him and Abby together even if she did. But Tony...Tony knew enough. And he was perceptive enough to pick up on the changes. "Have you talked to her?" he asked, keeping his voice and his body language neutral.

"Yeah. Before she went to your place the third time." Tony shoved his hands into his pockets. "I told her to be careful." He shook his head a little. "I don't want her to get hurt."

"You think--"

"No. I didn't say that. But you work together, and it...it could get sticky, if things don't--" Tony sighed. "Look, Boss. If this is what she wants--if this is what you want--then I'm not going to stand in your way. I don't want to come between you."

Although that could be interesting...Gibbs shook off the mental detour. "So why are you talking to me?" he asked.

"Because I care about Abby." Tony looked down at the floor before meeting Gibbs' eyes. "I trust you with my life when we're in the field. I always have. But my trusting you with my life isn't the same as trusting you as a Dom. I'm sure you're careful, and I'm sure Abby's smart enough to get herself out of a bad situation. I just don't want her to hold out because it's you."

"And you're worried because I'm her boss," Gibbs said evenly.

"Wouldn't you be? If I was sleeping with Marcia, down in Records--wouldn't you be worried about that?"

He had a point, much as Gibbs didn't want to admit it. "I didn't push her into anything," Gibbs said, sidestepping the issue. "And if you're half as smart as you think you are, you'd know that."

"Gibbs, I'm not saying you did. I don't think you did. I'm just concerned for Abby's sake."

"Does she know you're talking to me?" Gibbs asked.

"No." Tony sighed. "No. I talked to her before--well, before this all started." He gestured wordlessly. "And she'd probably be pretty pissed at me if she knew now."

"Yeah, she would," Gibbs said with a nod. "I'm not. But she would be."

"I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing," Tony said warily. "Why aren't you pissed?"

"Because I understand where you're coming from," Gibbs told him. "Doesn't mean I'm thrilled about it, but I understand."

"I just...don't want her to get hurt." Tony managed a faint grin. "Well, personal preferences aside."

"Do I want to know how you know about hers?"

It was too dark for him to see the exact emotion that flashed over Tony's face, but Gibbs would have bet it was embarrassment mixed with...something else. "I don't," Tony said, looking down at his shoes. "It's not like I've ever slept with her. Or you. Or--okay, I'm going to shut up now."

As always, it was about two sentences too late. Gibbs hid the smile and stood up. "Did you ever want to?" he asked casually.

"Yes. No. Wait." Tony groaned. "I plead the Fifth."

"You're not on trial, DiNozzo."

"Doesn't matter. I reserve the right not to incriminate myself for fear of homicide."

"I won't kill you," Gibbs said mildly.

"It's not you I'm worried about." Tony smiled, looking more than a bit sheepish. "Abby's dangerous when she's mad."

"I'll talk to her." Gibbs came around from behind his desk. "If you're worried about her, Tony, talk to her. I don't own her."

"Don't you?" Tony asked quietly. "I've gotta go." He left before Gibbs could say anything else.

Alone in the office, Gibbs looked up at the ceiling and swore. He had to talk to Abby. Now.

She was curled up in his bed when he got home, her hair damp and a few beads of water still on her shoulders from the shower. "Hi," she said softly, stretching and rolling onto her back.

He leaned down to kiss her, tangling one hand in her hair and pulling her head back. "Hey there, pretty girl," he murmured. "Have a good shower?"

"Mmm." She reached for him eagerly. "You have a wonderful hot water heater."

Gibbs laughed and kissed her throat. "Pretty girl," he whispered against her skin.

She shivered, already beginning to fall for him. "Yours, Master," she said softly.

It was tempting to take her down, watch her fall apart in his arms, but...Gibbs sighed and kissed her again before pulling back. "I need you to come up for me a bit, Abby," he said with more than a bit of reluctance. "Come on up to normal."

She groaned. "Why?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

As he'd half-feared, that got her attention faster than anything other than a Big Gulp could have. "What?" she demanded, sitting up. "We've only been doing this for two weeks, Gibbs, you can't _possibly_ tell me--"

"Abby," he interrupted, holding up his hand. "I'm not telling you it's over."

"Oh." She slumped a little in relief. "So...what are you telling me?"

"Tony came by to talk to me before I left work tonight," Gibbs said carefully. "He knows."

Abby groaned again and buried her face in her hands. "He knew last time," she said, muffled through her fingers. "He told me--" She sighed. "He told me that he wanted me to be happy, but he wanted me to be sure this was what I wanted. I told him it was, and I'd be careful."

"I know. And he came to me tonight and told me that while he believes you can get yourself out of a bad situation, and while he trusts me with his life, it's not the same as trusting me to take care of you. He doesn't want you to get hurt."

"He should have talked to _me_ ," Abby muttered. "He's not my father. He doesn't--"

"He's your friend, Abs, and he cares about you. Don't get mad at him." Gibbs sighed, kicking off his shoes. "The problem is that he knows enough about the scene and how things can go wrong to be concerned. And he doesn't know enough about me as a Dom, or you as a sub, to be easy about it."

"I think he saw something when he was in Philadelphia," Abby admitted. "We were talking once, just random stuff, and he made a comment about seeing something go wrong." She grimaced. "Although I wouldn't be surprised if it had happened to him."

"You think he got into something he couldn't handle?" Gibbs asked curiously.

"I think maybe someone took advantage of him. Tony's no fool--he'd have safeworded if he needed to--but maybe someone didn't respect that. Or maybe he _couldn't_ safeword for some reason. But...yeah. I think he's wary of the scene now. He doesn't show it, but..." Abby shrugged. "He picked up on you and me really fast--he knew what to look for, and I don't think he was trying. And the whole time I was talking to him, he was _so_ not comfortable. I think he got burned, big time."

"What do you want to do about it?" Gibbs stood, beginning to get undressed.

"God, I don't know." Abby fell over backwards on the bed. "Seduce him?"

He froze with his shirt half-off and his belt undone. "What?" he said, trying to determine if he'd just heard what he thought he'd heard.

Abby giggled. "Well, it could work," she said thoughtfully. "You'd be a good Dom for him--you'd respect his limits, make sure you didn't go too far. And I switch, sometimes. I could ease him into it."

"Abby...I am not sleeping with Tony to make him feel better about the fact that I'm sleeping with _you_."

There was dead silence in the room for a moment. Then Abby dissolved into laughter, and if she hadn't been lying down Gibbs was pretty sure she'd have fallen over. "Oh, man," she managed finally, wiping tears out of her eyes. "That's just...oh, man."

Gibbs rolled his eyes and tossed his pants into the hamper. "What _do_ you want to do about him, Abs?" he asked, sitting down on the bed again.

"I still like the seducing him idea. He's not going to be comfortable until he understands the dynamic here, and he's not going to do that without being part of it."

"Why do we want to make him comfortable about this?"

"Because he's my friend, and your best agent, and if he gets too uncomfortable he'll leave. He did it in Peoria, Philly, Baltimore...I don't want him to leave us." Abby poked him in the thigh. "I want him to stick around, Gibbs. And it isn't exactly like I've never thought about it."

"You thought about sex with Tony?" Gibbs asked in surprise.

"Well, der. Didn't you?"

Being with Abby was rather like life in Wonderland, Gibbs thought with a mental shake of the head. He sighed. "Abby--"

"What would you have done if he'd come to you?" Abby demanded. "Would you have said no?"

Yes. "No," he admitted quietly. "But he hasn't, and he's not going to. I won't push him like that."

"He's afraid you'll turn him down. Gibbs, the man has been in love with you since the day you recruited him. Which, amusingly enough, is about how long I've wanted to get into his pants." She smiled brightly.

"Come up with something else, Abby," Gibbs told her, a hint of steel in his voice.

Abby sighed. "Okay, okay. But seriously, Gibbs. We don't have to seduce him to make him understand. Just invite him over some night after work, let him see how it works. Just let me keep _something_ on--if I'm not going to end up in bed with him, I don't want him to see me naked."

"Fair enough. I'll talk to him tomorrow, see if he wants to drop by when we're done. Unless we get a case."

"Well, yeah." Abby grinned. "I know how it works."

"Good." Gibbs settled himself against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him. "Then come here and arrange yourself over my lap, pretty girl. Conversation's over."

She licked her lips, closing her eyes. "Yes, Master," she breathed before moving into position.

****  
Work was quiet the next day; Gibbs couldn't decide if that was good or bad. A case would have kept him from having to worry about this situation with Tony. On the other hand, he wouldn't have had a chance to invite Tony over, and while he didn't particularly want to do that...he had to. Abby was right; Tony was clearly uncomfortable. Every time Tony glanced in his direction, there was an uncertain look in his eyes, one Gibbs didn't like at all.

"DiNozzo," he said at the end of the day, after Kate had left to go meet her lawyer boyfriend--or whoever it was this week.

Tony's head jerked up. "Yeah, Boss?"

"I talked to Abby last night."

"Ouch. How much longer do I have before she kills me?" Tony grimaced.

"I talked her out of it." Gibbs smiled faintly. "You owe me."

"I'll add it to the list." Despite the banter, Tony was fidgeting with a pen.

"What happened to you?" Gibbs asked suddenly. "Why--what did you get yourself into, Tony?"

"Boss, I have no idea what you're talking about." Tony pushed himself away from his desk and stood up. "It's late, I'm hungry, and I'd like to go home. See you tomorrow?"

"Come over," Gibbs offered. "I've got food at the house. Abby's probably there already. You can talk to her yourself."

"I...no. That's not a good idea. I'll catch you at work tomorrow."

"Tony." Gibbs stood and walked around his desk. "Come over." He kept his voice as gentle as he could.

Tony pulled on his jacket. "I just want to go home, Boss."

He gritted his teeth. "Tony," he said quietly. "For Abby. She's worried about you."

"Oh, nice." Tony glared at him. "You tell her I'm worried about her and then you tell me she's worried about me because you want me to come over so you can what, reassure me that everything's fine? Sorry, Boss, but it ain't gonna fly. You two go have your happy weird dynamic and leave me out of it."

"I can't, Tony. Not if it means losing you as an agent." From the way Tony jerked, Gibbs knew Abby had been right.

"I can't stay around and watch this," Tony said after a long moment. "Not--not the two of you."

"Which one of us?" Gibbs asked softly.

"Does it matter?"

_The man has been in love with you since the day you recruited him._ Abby's words echoed in his brain. "Tony...why didn't you--"

"And risk getting not only turned down, but thrown out?" Tony retorted without even giving him a chance to finish. "I'm only that stupid once, Gibbs."

He didn't have the words for this. "Just come over," he said quietly. "Just...talk to Abby."

"I _can't_ ," Tony whispered. "Gibbs, don't you get it? I might understand the dynamic but that doesn't mean I'm comfortable with it, and with you and Abby--I can't, okay?"

Before Gibbs answered, Tony was gone.

Shit.

"So where's Tony?" Abby demanded when he got home.

Gibbs went straight to the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a drink and tossing half of it back in one swallow. "I don't know what happened to him," he said tiredly. "But he doesn't want to deal with it. He doesn't want to deal with this, either."

"Idiot." Abby glared at the couch as if it had Tony sitting on it.

"No," Gibbs corrected her. "He wants something but he's not sure what it is, and he got burned by something that happened to him in his past. And now that you're my girl, he's staying _far_ away to protect himself."

"He's still an idiot." Abby sighed and crossed to him, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her cheek against his back. "What are we going to do with him, Gibbs?"

He sipped his drink, feeling the alcohol's smooth burn. "There isn't much we can do, pretty girl," he said quietly. "If he feels this way, there isn't much we can do to change his mind--and I'm not even sure we have the right to do that."

She thumped her forehead against his back. "I want him to be comfortable," she whispered. "I want--"

Gibbs felt her shake her head. "You don't want to lose him as a friend," he said quietly. "Is his friendship worth giving--"

"No," she interrupted fiercely. "No. I'm not about to give up this because he's being a jerk. You tried your way. My turn."

"Abby, don't try to seduce him. It's not going to work."

"I won't," she promised. "I'm going to kick him in the head with my boots. The big ones."

Gibs sighed and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. "Do it after work, pretty girl," he told her. "I don't need him rabbiting on the job."

"Promise." Abby stretched up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. "I'll wait."

"Good." He turned around and kissed her, squeezing the back of her neck gently. "Pretty girl," he murmured.

It never failed to surprise him, how fast she fell. All he had to do was squeeze her neck, or her wrists, or even say something in the right tone of voice, and she went down for him. "Master," she whispered, falling to her knees.

****  
He didn't want to stop by the lab, but he couldn't quite make himself stay away. So he found a space in Abby's lab where he couldn't be seen and watched, wondering what his girl was going to say to Tony--and how Tony would react.

"Hey, Abs, what's up? You said you had something for me?" Tony asked; if Gibbs hadn't been looking for the wariness he'd never have found it.

"Mm-hmm." She snapped off her gloves and turned to look at him. "This." She slapped him across the face.

Tony stumbled back, one hand pressed to his cheek. "What the fuck was that?" he demanded.

"You asshole!" Abby shoved him back another couple of steps. "First you don't have the guts to come talk to me and then you ran away when Gibbs tried to talk to _you_. Damnit, Tony, why are you being such a jerk?"

She raised her hand again and Tony grabbed her wrist. "Don't," he said in a low voice. "And you know exactly--Abby, you know about Philadelphia, don't tell me you don't."

"I don't," she snapped. "I don't know what happened."

"Bullshit! You know _exactly_ what happened--you mentioned it to me! Or don't you remember Kristen Peterman?"

The name didn't mean anything to Gibbs, but it obviously did to Abby. She gasped, stepping back. "Tony--that was--"

"Yeah," he said tightly. "That was me. So you tell me, Abby. Exactly how comfortable am I supposed to be here?"

"But--" Abby shook her head. "Gibbs isn't _like_ that!"

"I didn't say he was. And I didn't say I'm afraid for you. But if you want me to be easy about this, if you want me to give you my blessing..." Tony closed his eyes. "I can't, Abby. I can't tell you that. I want you to be happy, but..." He shook his head. "I have to go, Abs. I'll...you be careful." He left in a hurry, almost walking through the doors before they opened.

"Damnit," Abby whispered when she was alone.

"Who's Kristen Peterman?" Gibbs asked quietly.

She jumped. "Don't _do_ that!"

"Sorry." He kissed her forehead. "Who's Kristen Peterman?"

Abby sighed. "She's...bad news. About five, six years ago--well, if it was Tony, it'd have to be around six--there was this thing. In Philly. Apparently there was this Domme who..." Abby sighed. "She'd found a new sub, someone not all that experienced, and...it was a bad situation. She ended up putting him in the hospital with a broken collarbone and broken ribs, and she ended up in jail, and _everyone_ within, like, five hundred miles freaked because the guy she hurt was a cop. Nick--a friend of mine--ran a private club, and he had to shut it down."

"And Tony was the cop?" Gibbs asked.

She nodded miserably. "Remember how he said there were extenuating circumstances when he left Philly? I'm guessing that was it."

"Was she a professional, or--"

"No," Abby said hastily. "I don't know the whole story, Gibbs, this is just what I've heard. She's, like, the boogeyman of the scene. We're all scared anytime something happens because it's all the cops see, is when things go wrong, and for someone to hurt a _cop_ that badly? God." Abby sighed and leaned against him.

He put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her. "C'mon, pretty girl," he said softly. "Let's just go."

"Gibbs, I don't think I can--" Abby sighed. "Not tonight. I mean...I don't--" She groaned. "I can't play tonight, Gibbs. I'm not...I can't."

"Do you want company?" he asked, kissing the top of her head. "Just for the sake of it?"

He could almost _see_ her wavering. "No," she said finally. "I think...I think I just want to be alone tonight."

"If you're sure." He didn't think it was the best idea, but he wasn't going to push.

"Yeah." Abby nodded. "I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

"I'll walk out with you." Gibbs rested his hand in the small of her back as they headed out and was inwardly pleased to feel her lean into the touch. When they reached her car, he opened the door for her and leaned down to kiss her on the cheek. "Sleep well, pretty girl. Call me if you need me."

Abby smiled. "I will."

After she'd driven off, Gibbs stood in the parking lot for a moment before heading back upstairs. He had a name, a timeframe, and an idea. Now he wanted details.

"Shit," he muttered nearly two hours later. No wonder Tony was skittish.

According to both the newspaper articles and the police report, Kristen Peterman had been a tall, athletic woman--just shy of Tony's height. The police reports stated that there had been a domestic disturbance at her apartment and Tony had fallen down a flight of stairs trying not to hurt her. Reading between the lines, it looked like she'd beaten the crap out of him. The newspaper articles had "friends" quoted as saying she liked it rough, that she was into "weird stuff", etc.--comments which were carefully _not_ anywhere near the official police report.

"So they knew but they didn't put it in," Gibbs mused out loud, leaning back in his chair. "And Tony probably left as soon as he could." He wasn't surprised; cops weren't exactly known for being friendly to alternative sexual lifestyles.

"A week after I got out of the hospital I turned in my resignation and moved," Tony said quietly out of the darkness.

He jerked upright. "What the hell are you doing here, DiNozzo?" he demanded.

Tony moved into the circle of light cast by his desk lamp. "I knew Abby would tell you what she knew, and then I knew you'd come looking for more information." He shrugged. "The reports don't tell the full story."

"They rarely do." Gibbs studied him for a long moment. Tony looked tired; his hair was disheveled and his tie was undone. His hands were shoved into his pockets and there was a slump to his shoulders Gibbs rarely saw. "What actually happened, Tony?"

"It's not a pretty story." Tony moved to his desk, turned on the light. He dropped into his seat, leaning back. "I was in Philly. Been there almost a year and a half, when I met this woman. Kristen. She was...a knockout. Tall, blonde, beautiful, with the kind of body--anyway." He shook his head. "Doesn't matter. I met her at a party a friend of mine was throwing. We hit it off, so we started dating. She..." Tony sighed. "I'd heard about the scene. And I knew a little. But I didn't know enough. And Kristen played...hard. I liked it, some, but the way she played...I didn't feel comfortable. It wasn't a game to her, it wasn't about pleasure, it was about inflicting pain. She was a hard-core sadist, and that wasn't...I didn't want that."

He paused, looking up at the ceiling. "I was planning on breaking it off. And then things got out of control. I'd gone to her place, and we..." Tony sighed. "It was a bad scene. She wasn't--it felt dangerous, and I needed to get out. I safeworded."

"She didn't listen," Gibbs said, putting the pieces together.

"No. It just made her angrier, and...I think she stopped when I blacked out, but I have no idea. I ended up with a fractured collarbone, three broken ribs, a concussion..." Tony shrugged. "She was gone by the time I came to. I got myself out of the restraints and called 911, and by the time everyone got there I'd managed to make it not look like what it was. Mostly."

"But you still left."

"The EMTs found me half-unconscious, sprawled out over my girlfriend's bed, beaten up. You tell _me_ what they thought. My captain gave me a reference when I applied to Baltimore and avoided any mention of why I'd left because he didn't want it to reflect on the department." Tony pushed himself up in his chair. "So. Yeah. It was a bad situation."

"Sounds like it," Gibbs said as noncommittally as he could manage. "And you've stayed away from the scene since then."

"Can you blame me?" Tony got to his feet and snapped off his light. "Boss, I'm sure you'll take care of Abby. I'm sure she knows what she's doing more than I ever did, and I have no doubt you're not like Kristen. But you're both asking me to be comfortable with something that I just...can't."

"Sometimes the only way to get over something is to do it again," Gibbs pointed out. He paused, choosing his words carefully. "Maybe if you--"

"No," Tony said sharply. "No. Once was enough for me. Anyway, now you know. And if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go get drunk."

"We've got work tomorrow."

"I'll be sober by then." Tony's footsteps echoed on the floor as he headed for the elevator as fast as he could.

Gibbs rubbed a hand over his face and leaned back in his chair again. "Shit," he muttered again.

****  
They caught a case at six in the morning--dead Marine floating face-down in a pool with his head in a plastic bag. "Charming," Tony muttered before turning on the cheer. "Kate, bring your bikini?"

She glared at him. "Depends, Tony. Did you bring a blindfold?"

"Enough," Gibbs interrupted. He didn't miss Tony's hidden wince; fortunately, Kate did. "Let's get him out of the pool and back to autopsy for Ducky."

The day was long and arduous and draining and was not made any easier by the storms rolling in throughout the afternoon. It wasn't until McGee put the pieces together around six that night that they caught a break and were able to get a suspect and an arrest. Finishing up the paperwork took them until eight and by that point they were all more than ready to go home.

Gibbs didn't ask and Abby didn't answer; she just followed him home, stripping out of her wet clothes as soon as they walked in the door and crawling into his lap on the couch. "Sometimes, life just sucks," she muttered, resting her head on his shoulder.

She wasn't talking about the case. Tony hadn't gone anywhere near her today, staying as far away as he possibly could. The few times he'd had to come to the lab he'd been tense and silent and had left as soon as possible.

"I know, pretty girl," he said, kissing her hair. "I know."

Thunder cracked outside and the flash of lightning shone through the curtains, illuminating Abby's pale skin. Gibbs traced the tattoo on her shoulderblade idly. "You hungry?" he asked.

She shook her head. "No."

He wasn't either.

They sat like that for a while, Abby snuggling against him, her body soft and warm even through his clothes. He stroked her back, her arms and legs, enjoying the feel of her against him.

There was a knock on the door that made them both start with surprise. Abby scrambled off Gibbs' lap, wrapping herself in the thick black robe she kept nearby, while he went to open it.

He probably shouldn't have been surprised to see Tony standing there, looking more than a bit bedraggled. His hair was soaked, his windbreaker was dripping, and his jeans were dark with water almost to the knee. Automatically, Gibbs looked past him to see his car and didn't find it.

"I walked," Tony said, swiping wet hair out of his eyes. "Can I come in?"

"Walked from _where_?" Gibbs asked, moving aside. Tony didn't live anywhere near him.

Tony shrugged. "Well, it was more like walked _around_. I parked around the corner about two hours ago, and I've just been...wandering since then. And eventually I ended up here. Hi, Abs," he said.

"You're soaked," she said, studying him. "Are you okay?"

"I noticed. And...I'm not sure." Tony grinned briefly. "Boss, you got somewhere I can hang this up?"

"Yeah. Here--give me your socks and shoes too." Gibbs took the drenched windbreaker and hung it over a coat tree, making sure there was a mat under it. "Why are you here, Tony?" he asked.

Tony sighed. "I...I came to apologize. To both of you."

Abby took his hand and tugged him into the living room, drawing him down on the couch. Quietly, Gibbs sat down on Tony's other side. Tony was facing Abby and didn't appear to notice him. "I understand why you're concerned," Abby told him. "But--Tony--this isn't like that."

"Abby..." Tony took a deep breath. "I know that. But I see you and Gibbs and I'm just so afraid that--" He shook his head. "What happens if you need to safeword?"

"I needed to, once," she said quietly. "And I didn't. And Gibbs stopped."

Tony twisted around in surprise. "You--"

"Did you think it was only the subs who had safewords?" Gibbs asked. He wasn't too surprised Tony hadn't thought of it.

"Kristen never..." Tony stopped, looked down at the worn brown fabric of the cocuh. "Kristen didn't do most things the way she should have," he said finally.

Abby squeezed his hand. "This isn't like that, Tony," she said again. "I promise."

He turned back to look at her. "I know. I do. I just..." He reached up to rub his collarbone absently. "It still hurts sometimes, you know?" he asked wryly. "When it rains, or the weather changes. Just an ache."

Abby reached up with her free hand to brush her fingers over his collarbone. "Trust me," she said softly. "And trust Gibbs."

"I"m trying," Tony said, catching her hand. "I am."

She leaned forward and kissed him gently. "Trust me now," she murmured.

"Abby," Gibbs said warningly.

"I--I think this is my cue to leave," Tony managed.

"Don't," Abby whispered. "Tony, don't--let me show you what it's really like, what it's supposed to be."

"Right, and he's going to let you?" Tony asked, sounding a little panicked and more than a little defensive. "Or--no, Abby. No. Don't do this to me."

_Which one of us? --Does it matter?_ Gibbs rested a hand on Tony's shoulder. "If you want to stay," he said quietly, "it's up to you."

"Gibbs--" Tony's voice shook slightly.

"Please," Abby murmured. "Tony, please stay. We won't hurt you."

"There's more kinds of pain than physical," Tony managed. "And I want this too much to--" He shut up, shaking his head.

"We want you too," Abby told him gently. "This doesn't have to be a once-off, not unless you want it to be."

Tony was wavering; Gibbs could feel it in the trembling of his muscles, the way his hands clenched in his lap. But he didn't say a word. This had to be Tony's decision. Neither he nor Abby could push him into it or it wouldn't be fair.

He felt the exact moment when Tony chose. His muscles relaxed and he nearly fell back on Gibbs, who caught him and held him. "What's your safeword?" Gibbs asked quietly.

Tony closed his eyes. "I don't have one anymore," he said.

"Pick something different," Abby suggested. "Something you didn't use."

It was a moment or two before Tony spoke. "Peppermint," he said.

"And to slow down?"

Tony smiled a little. "Coffee," he said, almost shyly.

Gibbs laughed. "Nice." He kissed Tony's temple, shifting so Tony half-lay across his lap. "Relax and listen," he said, letting his voice drop into what Abby called Top-mode. "Just listen for now, okay?"

Tony nodded obediently.

"As long as you're here, you'll obey my rules. If I tell you to do something, you'll do it. If I tell you that from now on, you're to be naked as soon as you walk in the door, you will. If we decide to make this more than tonight, your body will be mine. You won't come without permission. But for tonight, I just want you to obey. Just do what I tell you."

"Yes sir," Tony whispered. He licked his lips absently.

Gibbs bent his head and kissed him, coaxing his mouth open, tasting him. Tony yielded, a little hesitantly. "Shh," Gibbs murmured against Tony's lips. "It's about pleasure, Tony. Nothing else."

Tony shivered slightly and turned his face into Gibbs' shoulder. "I don't think I can do this," he whispered.

"Do you want to?"

"I've wanted to for years," Tony said shakily. "I just don't know if I _can_."

Gibbs tipped his chin up and kissed him again, slow and deep. "You can," he said, voice quiet but firm. "Just relax, Tony. This is something new. And since when have you been afraid of that?"

"When you put it like that..." Tony managed a smile.

Gibbs stroked his hair; it was still damp. "Pretty girl," he said, looking up. "Drop the robe and help Tony get out of his clothes before he gets pneumonia."

He sat back and watched Abby shrug out of the robe, draping it over the back of the couch. Tony swallowed when he saw her nude and reached for her, but she laughed and pressed him back. "Just lie back, sexy," she teased.

She made a game out of it, playfully tugging on buttons and zippers and peeling his clothes off. Gibbs watched in amusement, noting the way Tony relaxed under her touch, pulling her down for a quick kiss that turned into something longer, more intimate. She knelt over him, her hair falling around her face, veiling his as well. When she raised her head, she was panting a little and Tony was mostly hard.

"Let's take this upstairs," Gibbs said quietly.

Abby grinned and slid off the couch. She reached for Tony's hands, pulling him to his feet. "C'mon," she said, leaning up to kiss him again.

Tony followed--he couldn't do anything else, really. Abby had his hand gripped firmly and unless he wanted to risk hurting her, there was no way he was going to pull free. Then again, Gibbs was fairly certain he didn't want to anymore.

He flipped on the bedside lamp when they got to the bedroom, leaving the overhead off. "Tony," he said, stroking his fingers down Tony's cheek. "Kiss me."

This time, Tony kissed him eagerly, relaxing into it without hesitation. Gibbs slid a hand into his hair; when the kiss ended, he pulled Tony's head back enough to expose his throat. "One last chance to say no," he warned Tony.

Tony swallowed. "I'm not saying no," he whispered.

Gibbs tightened his grip in Tony's hair. "My boy," he murmured. He bent his head to Tony's throat, teasing the skin with his tongue, nipping him where his neck met his shoulder. "Lie down," he said, releasing Tony.

His face was flushed and he nearly stumbled backwards before his knees hit the bed and he fell onto it. He moved to roll onto his stomach, but Gibbs shook his head. "On your back," he said quietly. He'd have to see later if Tony could stand being restrained.

Without looking, he held out a hand for Abby. She took it, letting him draw her in against his body. "Pretty girl," he said, stroking her face and her throat with his free hand. "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Yes, Master," she said, arching into the caress.

Gibbs smiled and traced a line down her throat, her arm, circling her wrist with his fingers. He pulled her wrists behind her back, pinning them. "My girl," he said evenly.

Abby shuddered. "Yours, Master."

He bent his head and kissed her, hard. She moaned into the kiss, pressing against him as closely as she could.

"Don't move," he warned her, right before his hand slid between her legs. Abby gasped but managed to stay still, swallowing hard.

She was already wet, heat soaking into his fingers where he held her. "This turns you on?" he murmured, his thumb sliding a little inside to rest against her clit. "You like having Tony here?"

Abby managed a nod.

He smiled faintly. "Why is that, pretty girl? Do you want to show off for him? Want to show him what you'll do for me, what I'll make you do? Do you want to see him on his knees?"

A quick glance at the bed showed him that Tony was watching them intently. His face was flushed, his hands curled at his sides. "You like my pretty girl?" he asked, toying idly with Abby's clit.

Tony nodded jerkily. "Y-yes, sir," he said thickly.

Gibbs smiled. "I do too." He kissed Abby again briefly and released her with one final squeeze. "On the bed, pretty girl," he told her. "Play with Tony a bit--but don't touch his cock."

She nodded. "Yes, Master."

"And Tony?"

"Sir?" Tony asked, looking a bit nervous.

"Don't move."

He undressed slowly so he could enjoy the sight of the two of them. Abby crawled over Tony, letting her body slide against his, straddling his hips. Gibbs saw Tony almost try to reach for her before remembering.

Good.

Abby stretched out over Tony, her breasts rubbing against his chest. She kissed him, lazily, teasing him again and again. Her fingernails ran up and down his arms, down his sides and making him nearly roll over with laughter. "Don't--Abby--"

She laughed and nipped his collarbone. "Ticklish, Tony?"

He glared at her.

"Both of you, behave," Gibbs said mildly. He sat down on the bed, stroking his fingers through Tony's hair. "I don't want to have to punish either of you tonight."

Tony looked embarrassed; Abby just blushed and looked down. "Sorry, Master," she said softly.

He kissed her, his mouth lingering on hers. "Hands behind your back," he said, stroking her breasts. "You can stay where you are."

She nodded, instantly linking her hands behind her back.

"Arms over your head," Gibbs told Tony. "Hold on to the headboard."

Tony moved, wrapping his hands around the wooden slats. He closed his eyes, swallowing. He looked a little nervous and a lot turned on and Gibbs had to smile, seeing him like that. He leaned down and kissed Tony gently. "Will you be all right if I blindfold you?" he asked.

"I--I think so, sir," Tony said.

"If you're not, tell me." Gibbs opened the nightstand drawer and took out the blindfold, fastening it carefully. Tony swallowed again, but didn't tense up at all.

Gibbs stroked a hand down Tony's chest, amused at the way the muscles flexed under his touch. Tony's nipples hardened and he shivered a little. "Responsive, aren't you?" Gibbs murmured in amusement.

Tony looked like he wasn't sure how to answer that statement.

"Relax," Gibbs told him again. "Just relax. I'll take care of you."

"Yes sir," Tony whispered.

He did settle back against the bed, breathing deeply and easily. Gibbs nodded in approval and kissed him again.

Briefly, he thought about telling Abby to get the cuffs, but decided against it. He wanted her to stay still, wanted her to feel Tony's body and Tony to feel her where she knelt over him. So he got off the bed himself, taking two pairs of leather cuffs out of the toybox.

Abby shivered a little when he cuffed her hands behind her back, her head dropping forward. "Be a good girl and I'll let Tony fuck you," he whispered in her ear.

She whimpered a little. "I'll behave, Master, I promise," she said eagerly.

He laughed and slapped her ass. "Good girl."

Tony didn't seem to have even noticed the exchange. He was down, deep inside his own head; Gibbs was sure he was floating. But when he wrapped the cuffs around Tony's wrists, threading the chain through the headboard, Tony panicked. "No--please, don't, don't--"

He'd either forgotten he could safeword or was too scared to think of it. Abby scrambled off him instantly and Gibbs got the cuffs off him, helping him sit up and take off the blindfold. "Easy," he murmured, stroking Tony's back. "Easy, it's okay, it's just us. No one's going to hurt you."

Tony was trembling in his arms. "I can't--please, I'll stay still, just don't--"

"Shh," Gibbs murmured, kissing his temple. "It's okay. It's okay, Tony. I should have realized myself."

Tony shook his head, pressing against him. "I can't--not now. I can't stand being tied like that."

Damnit. Gibbs cursed himself inwardly, although he continued to hold Tony and soothe him. He should have known Tony wouldn't be able to handle being restrained. Not now, not until they had established more trust, more security for him.

Abby crawled over, kissing Tony's shoulder and his neck. "It's okay," she whispered. "It's okay, Tony."

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Don't apologize. We'll just know for next time."

"Next time?" Tony looked completely dumbfounded. "But I thought--"

"This time isn't over yet," Gibbs told him. "And unless you don't want there to be one, there will be a next time."

"Oh." He swallowed. "But I just--"

"You had a minor freak-out," Abby said matter-of-factly. "It happens. You should have seen me the first time someone tried tight bondage. I nearly passed out from hyperventilating."

"Tight bondage?" Gibbs raised an eyebrow and she blushed.

"I started liking it after a bit," she admitted.

He'd have to remember that.

"So...now what?" Tony asked tentatively.

Gibbs kissed him, teasing him, stroking him until he groaned deep in his throat. "Now we go back to this," Gibbs said, nipping his lower lip. "Okay?"

Tony swallowed. "Okay."

"Lie down again," Gibbs told him. "On your back. Hold on to the headboard. I won't tie you, but I don't want you to move."

"Yes sir." Tony settled himself against the bed again, stretching his arms over his head.

"Pretty girl," Gibbs said with a smile. "Kneel over him. I want you to feel his cock against your ass."

She moved eagerly, shivering when she settled herself.

"Isn't she beautiful?" Gibbs asked Tony. He stroked Abby's breasts, her stomach, trailing his fingers over her thighs. "So pretty and pliant. She'll do anything I tell her. And she loves it. Look at the way she's all flushed--you can probably feel her heat against you, so wet it's on your skin. It wouldn't take much to make her come--wouldn't take anything at all, really. If I told her, she'd come right now." He smiled a little, caressing Abby's back. "Do you want to fuck my pretty girl, Tony? Do you want to feel her around you, tight and wet and hot, riding you until you come inside her?"

Tony had to lick his lips twice before he could answer. "Please, sir," he managed. "Please."

"And if I let you have her--will you let me have you, Tony? Will you get on your hands and knees for me, let me take you?"

He wasn't asking lightly and from the way Tony went still on the bed, he knew it. All three of them were motionless, waiting for Tony's response.

Tony closed his eyes, shuddering. "Anything," he breathed. "Anything you want, sir."

Gibbs smiled. "My boy," he said, stroking Tony's hair. "My beautiful boy."

"Yours, sir," Tony said softly. He turned his head into the caress.

Abby made a soft sound he couldn't identify, but when Gibbs glanced at her she was grinning. "Told you so," she said impudently.

He'd tan her hide for that later.

Instead, for the moment he got out a couple of condoms. Before he opened one, he wrapped his hand around Tony's cock, feeling the warmth and the weight of it. It twitched in his hand and when he rubbed his thumb over the head, it came away wet with pre-come. "Open your eyes," he told Tony. "I want you to watch."

"Yes, sir." Tony opened his eyes, licking his lips at the sight of Gibbs kneeling next to him with a condom packet in his hand. Gibbs grinned and traced the packet over his lips, down his chest, past Abby to his hips. He ripped it open and took out the condom, rolling it on carefully. Tony groaned deep in his throat.

"Ready, pretty girl?" Gibbs murmured to Abby.

"Please, Master," she begged eagerly.

He laughed and nipped her throat. "I'll punish you later," he warned her. "But I'm being generous tonight."

"Thank you, Master." Abby grinned and kissed him.

With her hands cuffed behind her, she couldn't get the leverage to take Tony inside her. He settled his hands on her hips and lifted her up, easing her down slowly. Both Abby and Tony moaned; Abby's head fell back and Tony's hands clenched around the headboard.

Gibbs helped her begin to move, bracing her the way she needed so she could create her own rhythm. She kept it slow at first, shivering and biting her lip. Her arms pulled at the cuffs and she whimpered, trying to get more. "Please," she begged. "Master, please, I need more..."

"You need what I give you," he reminded her, holding her hips steady. "Nothing more."

Abby moaned. "Master..."

He nipped her shoulder sharply. "Like this, pretty girl," he said evenly. "Just like this."

She whimpered. "Yes, Master."

Gibbs kept his hands on her hips, gentling his hold. Abby kept the rhythm slow, easy, rolling her hips. With the way Gibbs knelt behind her, his cock rubbed against her ass as she moved on Tony. Caught between the two of them, she could only moan.

The small, analytical part of Gibbs' brain noted that for future reference. Maybe one of these days, they'd put her in the middle for real. But not tonight.

Tony was panting for breath, arching up every time Abby moved. "God--Abby--" His voice was husky, low with need. "More--please, sir, more..."

Gibbs kissed Abby's shoulder, over the little bite mark. "Do it, pretty girl," he told her. "Move the way you need."

"Thank you, Master," she said breathlessly.

"Tony," Gibbs said.

"Sir?" Tony nearly groaned the word.

"Don't come. Not until I'm inside you."

Tony made a low, helpless sound. "Yes, sir," he managed.

Abby was moving hard and fast now, every inhalation a whine for air. "Oh God--oh--Master, please, I--"

He tugged her earlobe between his teeth. "Come," he whispered.

She cried out, arching back. Gibbs let her calm down just enough before he reached around and rubbed her clit _just_ right and she screamed again, falling forward onto Tony. Gibbs caught her before she landed on him and eased her off, uncuffing her wrists and settling her on her side. He stroked her face gently and she kissed his fingers.

Tony was trembling, flushed from forehead to collarbone. "Please--sir, please..."

Gibbs peeled off the condom and kissed him deeply. "Hands and knees," he said as evenly as he could. His self-control wasn't boundless and he was starting to feel the limits. Fortunately, Tony scrambled to all fours as fast as he could move.

The lube was in the nightstand drawer; Gibbs snagged it and moved to kneel behind Tony, kissing the small of his back as he did. "How long has it been for you?" he asked, opening the tube.

"A few years, sir."

It didn't surprise him. It just meant he'd have to be careful.

He slicked his fingers generously, pressing one inside Tony slowly. Tony was vise-tight around him and he whimpered in what wasn't entirely pleasure. "Easy," Gibbs murmured. "Breathe, Tony. Relax into it."

Tony groaned. He took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. "Good," Gibbs said softly. "Good."

Slowly, Tony relaxed around him, enough that Gibbs could stretch him with one finger, then two, scissoring them inside him, making him moan in pleasure this time. "That's it." Gibbs kissed the small of his back again. "Are you ready for me?"

Tony nodded. "Please, sir," he whispered.

He wanted to take it slow--Tony was still almost as tight as a virgin and hurting him was the _last_ thing Gibbs wanted to do right then. But he rolled on the condom and pushed inside Tony...and Tony just shuddered and relaxed. "Please," he whispered again. "Please, sir..."

So much for slow. Gibbs began to move, deep steady thrusts, dragging a moan from Tony. He wanted to hold back, to draw it out, but between the way Tony was moving wtih him and his own body, he wasn't going to be able to. With a groan, he dropped his forehead to Tony's back, giving into the rhythm his body wanted.

Abby was stirring a little by this point; she was watching them avidly, her mouth half-parted. Gibbs noticed and caught her eye, nodding at Tony. She didn't need an explanation. She just slid under Tony's body, sucking his cock into her mouth.

"Oh God--" Tony gasped, shuddering all over. "God--sir--Abby--"

Gibbs spared a brain cell to be amused at the litany. He bit Tony's shoulder, harder than he'd nipped Abby's before. "Come," he said in a low voice. "Come for me, Tony."

Tony cried out something incomprehensible, body going taut for a long moment. He nearly fell down and only Abby's hands on his shoulders and Gibbs' hands on his hips kept him up. Abby slid out from under him, kissing him, wrapping her arms around her neck.

The two of them were beautiful together. Gibbs smiled a little at the sight before his eyes fell closed and he surrendered to the need to have Tony, to possess him, take him hard and deep. Tony was _his_ now and God, Gibbs wanted him to know it.

He dimly heard Tony's harsh breathing, the way Abby's breath caught in her throat as she watched them. God, it was so good. Orgasm was creeping up on him faster than he could fight it and he just stopped trying, letting it wash over him with a groan and a shudder. Tony moaned a little, wincing a bit as Gibbs pulled out of him carefully. "You all right?" Gibbs asked, throwing out the condom.

"I..." Tony nearly fell onto his side. "I..."

He wasn't; he wasn't up yet and he was still trying to process and his brain was short-circuiting when it tried. Gibbs didn't bother cleaning up, just pulled the covers back and got the three of them under as fast as possible, settling Tony in the middle with Abby pressed up against his back and Gibbs holding both of them. "Easy," he murmured, stroking Tony's hair. "Just let it go."

Tony hid his face in Gibbs' shoulder. He was shaking and Gibbs felt a few hot, painful tears against his skin. "Shh," Gibbs whispered. "It's okay. It's okay, Tony."

Abby kissed his shoulderblade, the nape of his neck. "We've got you," she whispered. "We've got you. You're safe."

They held him tight until he stopped trembling in their arms, until he could speak. And then they held him as he fell asleep, safe and warm between them, tucked against Gibbs' chest with Abby's arms around him.

"Can we keep him?" Abby whispered impishly once Tony was asleep.

Gibbs gave her a Look. "We're sure as hell not letting him go now," he said, looking down at Tony. "You sure you're okay with this, pretty girl? He's going to need some looking after."

"I know." Abby kissed Tony's throat. "We'll make it work."

"If you're sure."

She smiled. "It was my idea," she pointed out.

Gibbs sighed and turned off the light. "Go to sleep, pretty girl. I'll figure out what to do with _you_ tomorrow."

Abby giggled and snagged his hand, kissing it. "Night, Master," she whispered.

He stroked her face. "Sleep well, pretty girl."


	5. Post Traumatic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn't want to need them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My attempt at a Frame Up tag. With many thanks to [](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/profile)[**crimsonquills**](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/) for pointing out that the opening sucked and [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://skripka.livejournal.com/)**skripka** for the title and everything else.

Title: Post Traumatic  
Author: rebecca  
Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo/Abby  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: He doesn't want to need them.  
Spoilers: Frame Up  
Notes: My attempt at a Frame Up tag. With many thanks to [](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/profile)[**crimsonquills**](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/) for pointing out that the opening sucked and [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[**skripka**](http://skripka.livejournal.com/) for the title and everything else.

This fits into the Applied Psychology universe and takes place sometime after [Control Theory](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/396416.html).

Abby's not ashamed to admit she'd been terrified earlier. Seeing Chip pointing that knife at her, and then when he'd lunged--she'd had a bad case of the shakes before, sitting on her lab stool waiting for the others to get there.

Although, the picture of him covered in soda and hog-tied with duct tape is going to amuse her for a while.

But she'd been scared, and she'd wanted nothing more than her boys to hold her and comfort her and tell her everything was going to be all right. And once McGee and Ziva had hauled Chip off for booking--not being too gentle along the way--she'd all-but-dived into Gibbs' arms and stayed there, letting him kiss her hair and murmur gentle reassurances she didn't hear. He hadn't let her go until she was able to stand without shaking and turn to Tony, who'd held out his arms for her as well.

"Thank you," he'd whispered against her head, and if a hidden tear splashed onto her hair they both pretended it hadn't. "Thank you."

"I wasn't going to give up on you," she'd whispered back. "Ever."

It had been a long time before the three of them had gone home--to Gibbs', because it's more home for both Abby and Tony than anywhere else now. She'd claimed the first shower and had stayed in long enough to wrinkle her fingers before reluctantly getting out. Clean, warm, and dressed in her favorite black silk nightgown, she'd returned to the bedroom and the glass of wine Gibbs had handed her.

And now Gibbs sits on the bed across from her, dressed in a pair of faded gray sweatpants and nothing else. A squat glass is on the nightstand next to him, the faintest trace of liquor in the bottom.

"How long do you think he'll stay in there?" she asks, swirling the last of her wine around in its glass. She nods toward the bathroom, where the water is still running.

Gibbs shakes his head. "Depends on whether he's done before the hot water runs out." He grimaces a bit, looking in the direction of the bathroom. "Let's hope he is."

"He'll stay in there even after the water goes cold?" She's honestly surprised by this--Tony isn't one for cold showers.

"He'll stay in there until he feels clean," Gibbs says quietly. "And before you say anything, pretty girl--we're not going in there to get him. He'll come to us when he's ready."

"Are you sure?" Abby sets her wineglass down and picks up her brush, coaxing out the tangles in her hair. "He hides, Gibbs. You know that."

"I know. But he's got nowhere to go, pretty girl. He'll come to us, if only to get his clothes, and we'll take care of him." He looks at her, his eyes full of concern and caring. "Are you sure you're all right, baby?"

"I'm fine." Abby sighs. "Okay, maybe I'm not _fine_ fine, but I'm okay. I'll be better once Tony's fine."

"Tony is fine," the person in question says, coming into the bedroom. He's wrapped in a thick blue robe and is rubbing his hair with a towel. "I'm clean, I'm out of there, and Chipster is gone. I'm more worried about you, Abs. You sure you're okay?" He tosses the towel into the hamper and sits down on the bed next to her, stroking her face and her neck, over the black silk of her nightgown.

She catches his hand and turns to kiss him, but he pulls away just enough that she can't. "Tony," she says softly. "C'mon, let's go to bed."

Tony shakes his head and gets up, rummaging through clothes to find a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. He manages to pull them both on without revealing his body, and if Abby hadn't already been watching for signs that would have twigged her right away. Tony is many things; modest isn't one of them.

"You want something to drink?" she asks, hugging her knees to her chest.

"I'm fine, Abs." He gives her a grin that's almost-- _almost_ \--normal. "I'm just going to go to sleep, okay?"

But he's about to leave the room, which makes no sense. "Tony," Gibbs says quietly. "Where are you going?"

"Spare bedroom," he says, hand on the doorknob. "I'm not feeling like sharing tonight."

This is almost worse than the dressing routine. Tony's not only hungry for companionship in bed, he's starving for it. He'll burrow into Gibbs' arms, wrapping himself around the man like Saran Wrap. If he turns over, he'll bury his head in Abby's breasts, snuggling into her warmth. Even if he's on the outside, he'll end up cuddling the person in the middle.

He's distancing himself from them, and it doesn't take a genius to figure out why. Abby minored in psych; she knows what he's doing probably better than he does. While he's been declared innocent, while they've found the real criminal and the evidence has been explained away, it doesn't take away what he's felt. He's ashamed, and he's hurt, and he needs them to hold him and make it better.

But as always, he doesn't want to need them. He hasn't, ever since he showed up on Gibbs' doorstep dripping wet and so hurt and confused it radiated off him. So they're going to have to make him let it all go.

Fortunately, they know how by this point.

"If you sleep in my house, you sleep in my bed," Gibbs says evenly. "And you can't go home. Your car's still impounded until tomorrow and neither Abby nor I are driving you anywhere."

"I could call a cab," Tony says half-heartedly, hand still on the doorknob.

"No." Gibbs' voice leaves no room for protest or argument. "Come here, Tony."

These are the roles they play: Gibbs is the stern one, the one who doesn't let him get away with anything. The one who enforces the rules. Abby is softer, gentler, the one who makes him laugh and relax, the one who coaxes him into bed and then lets Gibbs keep him there.

Tony knows it as well as they do. But he's never said no to either of them.

Slowly, Tony lets his hand drop and walks over to the bed, standing next to it. Gibbs nods at the mattress and Tony sits down on the edge. "It's over," Gibbs tells him. "It's over, Tony."

"I know."

Abby crawls over behind him, kissing the nape of his neck. Tony flinches and he tenses when she wraps her arms around him. "It's over, baby," she whispers against his throat. "We got the bad guy."

"Thanks to you," Tony says. "I couldn't--" He shakes his head.

"No, you couldn't," Gibbs agrees. "You let us do it, because you had to."

"I--" Tony shakes his head again. "Yeah. Okay."

"Let us take care of you tonight, baby," Abby murmurs. "Let us."

"You tok care of me all day," Tony says bitterly. "And for what? So you could run yourself into the ground in your lab, only to get attacked by a psycho with a knife? Meanwhile, I'm lying on a cot in a damned cell, staring at the ceiling. Which one of us had the worse day, Abs? Which one of us deserves some comfort tonight?"

"Yeah, but I got my revenge," Abby says cheerfully. "Tying him up with duct tape made up for all of it."

Gibbs chuckles and strokes her cheek. "He'll be in pain for a long time thanks to that tape," he says, sounding not at all unhappy.

"Oh darn." She grins and kisses Tony's neck again. "I'm fine, Tony. But you're not."

"I--" Tony's abruptly cut off by Gibbs' mouth on his, kissing him deep and sure and slow, the long, drugging kisses Gibbs is so good at. Both Abby and Tony have had brains fried by those kisses before, and tonight's no exception. Tony's looking dazed when Gibbs pulls back.

"Abby worries," Gibbs says fondly. "Let her worry about you, because otherwise she'll worry about me."

"I don't need to be worried about, fussed over, coddled, or taken care of!" Tony says angrily. "I'm fine. I'll call a cab and go home and watch some old movies and--"

He tries to stand up in the middle of this spiel, but Gibbs grabs his wrist and does something and Tony hits the bed hard. Abby barely gets out of the way in time. "Like hell," Gibbs says, voice low.

"Let me go!" Tony pulls away; Gibbs moves with him and in one of those Marine moves Abby can never follow, has him pinned with his wrists over his head.

Gibbs looks at her and nods. "Do it, Abs," he says quietly.

"Damnit--no--Abby--" Tony's fighting Gibbs, trying to throw him off. "Abby, don't, please..."

He's begging, and if Abby wasn't sure Gibbs knows what he's doing she'd listen. But she trusts Gibbs in this, so she grabs the cuffs attached to the headboard and fastens them around Tony's wrists, buckling them quickly and efficiently.

"If you safeword, you can stop this," Gibbs says to Tony. "If you safeword, we will stop. Is that what you want, Tony?"

"Don't do this," Tony whispers. "Please--Gibbs--don't do this to me, don't..."

"If you safeword, I will stop. I will let you go and you can leave and we'll never speak about it again. Is that what you want, Tony?"

Abby chews her lip, watching. Gibbs kneels over Tony, hands on his wrists, just below the cuffs. He's waiting, just as Abby is. And Abby honestly isn't sure if Tony's going to safeword or not.

Tony makes a low, broken sound and turns his head to the side, hiding his face in his arm.

"It's over, Tony," Gibbs murmurs, catching Tony's jaw and turning his head back. "It's all right. It's over."

"I'm not so pathetic that I don't know that," Tony says, sounding like he's trying to convince himself. He flexes his hands, looks up at the cuffs. "You can let me out, Gibbs. I won't run away."

"Not yet," Gibbs says softly, stroking Tony's throat, down over his chest. "Fall for me, Tony. Go down."

"Please--I can't--" Tony gives him a look of pure pleading. "I can't--"

"Can't or won't, Tony?" Gibbs doesn't stop petting him, both hands running over his body.

"I can't," Tony whispers. He's taut as a steel wire under Gibbs' hands, trembling a little. "Please--I can't."

"I'll help you down," Gibbs says, stroking Tony's hair. "Just listen to me, Tony."

Abby shifts to her knees. It's an effort to keep herself out of headspace but she doesn't want to slip down just yet. Not just yet, not when Tony's not there.

"Don't--Gibbs, please, don't, I don't want--" Tony turns his head away, biting his lip.

"It's over," Gibbs says, and Abby thinks that if anyone else ever heard him be this gentle and caring they'd wonder who it was. "It's over. Fall for me, Tony. Just relax and fall for me."

"Don't," Tony whispers again, but Abby doesn't think he's talking to Gibbs anymore.

"One step at a time, Tony. Just go down the steps for me. One at a time." Gibbs runs his fingers through Tony's hair, using the soft touches Tony's used to. "Just let it go, Tony. One step at a time."

He's coaxing Tony down the way he used to at first, when Tony was scared of headspace and unable to get there by himself. Like then, Tony's scared, fighting both himself and Gibbs for something he wants but can't admit.

If he hadn't wanted it, he'd have safeworded. He's done it before. The fact that he hasn't--it doesn't mean he'll go down easily, but it means he'll go down. Abby knows this, just as she knows that Tony needs this tonight. He needs to be held and taken care of and soothed, much like she'd needed it earlier.

She's better. He isn't.

"No--" Tony shudders, fighting it, but Abby can already see him beginning to fall.

"One step at a time," Gibbs repeats, gently but inexorably. "Step down, Tony. One more."

Tony whimpers, shaking his head. "I--please--" He's trembling now; Abby thinks he's on the verge of breaking. Not just falling, but breaking apart. She wants to reach out to him, to hold him and touch him and soothe away the shame and the hurt. The embarrassment that he wants this.

Only she can't touch him until he's down, not until Gibbs says she can, and so she waits, watching Tony fight himself for the control he's not going to get back.

"One more," Gibbs says quietly. "Just a few more, Tony."

He makes a low, helpless sound, a cross between a moan and a whimper, and...falls. Abby sees it, the way the tension just leaves him, the way he sighs a little and lets himself relax. Finally.

"More," Gibbs says. He rests one finger in the hollow of Tony's collarbone. "Go down more for me, Tony."

Abby's a little surprised by this. She looks at Gibbs, wondering just how far he wants Tony to fall. He's already as far down as Gibbs normally takes him, but…

Slowly, Tony's breathing evens out and he relaxes against the bed. He sighs a little, his lips parted a bit.

"What are you?" Gibbs asks.

Tony sighs a bit. "Yours," he murmurs. "Master."

"That's right." Gibbs leans down and kisses him gently. "My boy," he says. "Do you understand that, Tony?"

"Yes, Master," Tony says, almost inaudibly.

"Then understand that I know how to take care of you, Tony. I know what you need. You have to trust me, Tony. Trust me to take care of you."

"I will, Master." Tony blushes a little. "I'm sorry."

"I don't need you to apologize, Tony. I need you to trust me." Gibbs kisses him again. "Just relax for now."

Tony nods and settles against the bed with a soft sigh. Gibbs moves off him and turns to Abby, holding out his hand. "Take off the nightgown and come here, pretty girl," he says quietly.

She does, crawling over to him. He kisses her, the same slow, deep kiss he gave Tony earlier. "Fall for me, pretty girl," he murmurs against her lips.

It's easy for her; she closes her eyes and lets herself sink into headspace, pressing against him. He kisses her hair, stroking her back, while his other hand slips between her legs. "You were so good today, pretty girl," he says, one finger sliding between her labia. "Such a good girl."

His finger rests right over her clit, just brushing it. "I'm going to fuck my boy while he's in you," he murmurs, circling her clit slowly. "Let both of us take him." He kisses her throat, tracing the vein with his tongue. "But I want you to come first, pretty girl. I want to feel you come on my fingers and watch you fall apart before I let my boy fuck you."

Slowly--oh so slowly--he works two fingers into her, twisting them, his thumb pressing against her clit. And for a long moment, he just holds his hand there, his other hand spread out against her back to steady her.

Abby shivers and drops her head forward to rest her head against his shoulder. He's working her clit _just_ the way she likes, his fingers inside her just enough to give her something to clench around. She whimpers, knowing she's soaking his fingers, wishing they were his cock.

He pushes a third finger into her, his thumb rubbing her clit harder and faster now. "Come, pretty girl," he murmurs. "Come for me."

She gasps, shuddering and trembling as she comes, but he doesn't stop. He keeps working her; she doesn't even have a chance to breathe before she comes again, crying out and collapsing against him.

"That's it," he says softly. He pulls his hand away carefully and holds her close. "That's it, baby girl. Just relax now."

She's shaking with aftershocks and emotion. Her body's release let down her emotional blocks and now she's close to crying with the overload of it all. She'd thought she was fine, but...

"Just relax now," Gibbs says softly. He rocks her against him, his heartbeat steady and comforting under her ear. "Let it out."

Abby doesn't cry. Almost never. But she's got tears in her eyes now, a couple slowly sliding down her cheeks as she clings to Gibbs. "I was so scared," she whispers, sniffling. "What if I hadn't found--Tony could have gone to jail and it would have all been my fault!"

"No, baby. Not your fault." Gibbs holds her tighter. "Not your fault. And you got the bastard who did it."

She laughs shakily. "Yeah. The Caff-Pow was what did it."

"I'll never say a bad word about your caffeine addiction again." Gibbs chuckles and kisses her forehead.

Eventually, she sighs and pulls herself away. "I'm okay now," she says. "Go take care of Tony-boy."

"You sure?" He strokes a finger down her cheek.

"Yeah." Abby smiles. "I'm okay, Gibbs."

He smacks her ass lightly, as a warning. "Pretty girl," he says evenly, and she drops her eyes.

"Sorry, Master."

"Good girl." Gibbs kisses her lightly and turns back to Tony, who looks like he's asleep. He's not--Abby knows that all too well. He's floating, down so far he's not aware of anything but his Master.

It's a wonderful place to be, warm and safe and comforting. Abby smiles a little, watching him lie there, breathing deep and even, completely relaxed and yet alert at the same time.

He's beautiful.

Gibbs studies him for a moment before nodding to himself. He tugs the waistband of Tony's sweatpants. "Lift up," he says, and when Tony arches up Gibbs slides the sweatpants off him.

The T-shirt's next; Gibbs uncuffs his wrists and slides the shirt off him slowly, hands running over his skin as he does. He kisses Tony, pinning his wrists to the bed, and Abby hears Tony gasp. She smiles to herself--she knows all too well what the feel of those calloused hands around her wrists is like, the sheer bolt of lust it causes when Gibbs pins either of them down.

"I'm going to fuck you," Gibbs breathes against Tony's mouth. "I'm going to take you and I'm going to break you wide open, Tony. Do you understand me?"

Tony moans, his head dropping back to expose his throat. "Master," he says, and it's probably the only word he can manage now. The only one he remembers.

Abby swallows, hard. She's come twice tonight and just watching this is enough to get her hot again. God, they're gorgeous together, and the thought of feeling Tony inside her while Gibbs is buried in him...she'll be lucky if she doesn't explode.

Gibbs bites his throat, hard, and Tony whines from the painpleasure of it. Abby winces; Tony's going to be wearing turtlenecks for the next few days.

"Mine," he growls softly; both Tony and Abby shiver. "My boy."

"Master," Tony whispers helplessly.

That gets him another hard kiss, and then Gibbs pulls back. "Hands and knees, boy," he says.

Tony moves, settling himself. Gibbs looks at Abby and nods. He gestures with one hand and she grabs the lube and a condom, scrambling over to them. "How do you want me, Master?" she asks.

"Under him. Put that on him, too."

"Yes, Master." Abby slides down under Tony, ripping open the condom packet and carefully rolling it onto his cock; Tony shudders as she does and bites his lip to keep control. When she's secured it, she kisses his lips briefly and settles herself back against the pillows, ready for them.

"Breathe out," Gibbs directs Tony, and he does--but at his surprised grunt, Abby realizes that Gibbs hasn't stretched him out, that he's just slicked his cock and pushed inside.

She has no idea what that means, but he's never done it before.

Tony's trembling, arms rigid as he fights to hold himself up. His erection hasn't softened at all, though, and the look on his face is need and passion and lust, not pain or frustration. Abby strokes his throat, circling the bite mark with a finger. "So beautiful," she whispers.

"Abby," Gibbs says, and she knows what he wants. She positions herself so that Tony's cock is just barely inside her, her hands on his hips to guide him.

And then Gibbs begins to move. He pulls just a little out of Tony's body--and thrusts in hard, shoving Tony forward and pushing his cock into Abby. She gasps, Tony moans, and from then on she loses track of everything but the feel of Tony's cock inside her, the weight of two men on top of her, fucking her hard enough to push her back against the pillows with every thrust.

She has no idea who's making what sound, whether the moans she hears are Tony's or her own, whether it's Gibbs' raspy breathing or it's Tony begging for air. She reaches over her head to grab the headboard, desperate for something to hang on to.

Orgasm rips through her so hard she sees white, and even though she's not supposed to come without permission she doubts Gibbs will care this time.

Her ears are still ringing when her body spasms again, and she's almost praying that's it because she doesn't know if she can take any more of this. Tony's in the middle but she feels split open by this, by the force of being taken by Tony and Gibbs at the same time. Please, God, let it never stop and let it end now, she begs silently.

Tony cries out harshly when he comes; she feels him spill inside the condom and clenches around him in reflex, hard enough to make him groan again. He nearly falls on top of her and only Gibbs' grip on his hips keeps him up. Abby hears the catch in Gibbs' breath and knows he's close--and sure enough, a moment later Gibbs groans and buries his head in Tony's neck.

They collapse into a heap on the bed. Abby barely gets out of the way in time to avoid being crushed by two muscular men. She gets rid of the condom, wrinkling her nose. "I'll go get us a washcloth or two," she says, but when she tries to stand up her knees buckle and she hits the floor.

Gibbs lifts her back into the bed, kissing her forehead. "I'll go," he says firmly. "You stay here and take care of Tony."

It's not a joke. Tony's trembling now--he often does, after something this intense, and on top of what he went through today, Abby is pretty sure he'll be in tears if he doesn't fight it back.

She doesn't want him to fight it back, so she pulls him close and pets him, kissing his forehead and his hair. "Let it out, baby," she whispers. "Let it all out."

Tony's still shaking when Gibbs comes back with a couple of washcloths. He hands one to Abby and keeps one for himself and between the two of them, they get all three of them cleaned up and the washcloths tossed in the hamper.

Somehow, they get under the covers, Tony in the middle. He's clinging to Abby, with Gibbs pressed securely at his back, and he's still shaking. And slowly, as they hold him and stroke him and tell him it's all right, the tears come. They're slow, and painful, and there aren't many.

But they're enough for him to relax, to calm down and drift off to sleep.

Once he's asleep, Abby looks over at Gibbs. He smiles and strokes her cheek with a finger. "You all right, baby?" he asks softly.

"Yeah." She kisses his fingers. "I think I am."


	6. Whipping Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This isn't a game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [](http://ncis-tinsel.livejournal.com/profile)[**ncis_tinsel**](http://ncis-tinsel.livejournal.com/), for [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://skripka.livejournal.com/)**skripka**. Happy holidays, my other half. Hope you like this. For the rest of you--did I mention this one's kind of intense? ...yeah.

Title: Whipping Boy  
Author: rebecca  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby, Gibbs/Abby/Tony implied.  
Summary: This isn't a game.  
Warnings: Oh boy yes. BDSM, hard-core, and angst up the wazoo.  
Notes: Written for [](http://ncis-tinsel.livejournal.com/profile)[**ncis_tinsel**](http://ncis-tinsel.livejournal.com/) , for [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[**skripka**](http://skripka.livejournal.com/). Happy holidays, my other half. Hope you like this. For the rest of you--did I mention this one's kind of intense? ...yeah.

Takes place in the Applied Psychology universe (aka pavlov) sometime after [Control Theory](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/396416.html), but can be read without reading [Post Traumatic](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/433210.html).

 

"So." Abby dipped her spoon into the bowl of slowly melting vanilla fudge ice cream and took a bite, licking away extra chocolate syrup from the corner of her mouth. "You or me?"

Tony swallowed some ice cream, licking the spoon clean before he answered. "I don't want it to be you," he said with a grimace. "He's too unpredictable right now, Abs. He's so driven--"

"I know." Abby sighed. "But you also know that he plays harder with me than he does with you."

"It's this stupid fucking case!" Tony rolled off the bed, running his hands through his hair. "What is this, the third night he's spent at the office? Fourth?"

"Fourth, and you spent the first two with him." Abby spooned up some more ice cream--no sense in letting it go to waste--and watched him pace. "The case is _over_ , Tony. We might not have an ending we like, but it's over. Why--"

"Because he can't let it go, Abs. Because Katrina Petrovich is dead and he can't let it go, and he's staying at the office because he's Captain fucking Ahab and he can't let this go." Tony swore under his breath and turned back to her. "Because our boss is a fucking masochist."

"Because he doesn't trust himself around us, Tony," Abby said quietly. "You know it as well as I do."

Tony deflated at that, slumping a bit and dropping back down to sit on the bed. "Yeah. I know."

"Which is why it has to be me. You've got more of a chance of pulling him off if something goes wrong--" Abby held up a hand. " _If_ , Tony. I'm not saying it'll happen. I don't think it will. But..."

"I know. And he..." Tony shrugged. "You said it yourself, Abby. He plays harder with you than he does with me."

"I've been playing longer. And..." Abby gestured.

"Yeah, I know." Tony sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Okay. Fine. When?"

"No time like the present." Abby took a bite of ice cream and offered Tony the bowl. "Tomorrow?"

****  
She'd dressed carefully that day--the boots were clunky but the rubber soles meant she could move quickly if she needed to. The miniskirt was pleated and easy to shove out of the way and she only wore a black thong underneath. She wore no bra, although her shirts were layered to hide that. And the collar she wore was Gibbs'.

Now she just had to convince Gibbs to come home.

The music was blaring when he came into the lab that morning, _with_ an extra-large cup of coffee and _without_ the usual Big Gulp he had for her. Without even asking her, he turned it off with an impatient push of the button.

"What've you got?" he all-but growled at her.

She glared at him. "Fine way to say hello you've got there, Gibbs. Especially when you didn't even come _home_ last night. You come into my lab, you don't even bring me soda, you turn off my music, and now you demand to know what I've _got_ for you?" She turned back to her computer, tapping her foot.

"Don't push it, Abby," Gibbs warned her in a low voice. "I asked you--"

"I know exactly what you asked me for, Gibbs," she said coolly. "And you'll get it when it's done."

"Why isn't it done yet?" he snapped.

Abby turned and glared at him again, folding her arms across her chest. "Because _some_ of us slept at home last night and got in on _time_ this morning--which is a concept I'm sure you're unfamiliar with, but let me explain it to you. _I_ went home last night and got some sleep. I got here at 0700. Those tests will be ready around 1400 this afternoon--and that's assuming I don't get anything else in the meantime. This is a cold case now, Gibbs. It doesn't take priority."

"It damn well does," Gibbs said through gritted teeth. "This takes priority over anything else you've got."

"Tell that to your boss," she said with a flip of her head.

" _I_ am your boss," he said, voice low. He took a step toward her, standing almost toe-to-toe. "And you follow my orders. Understand?"

Abby's eyes narrowed and she met his eyes, refusing to back down even an inch. "I'd follow your orders if you were ever around to _give_ them," she said evenly.

"Don't push me, little girl. Do not push me." Gibbs' hand tightened into a fist for a moment before he forced it to relax.

"Or what?" she challenged. "Not like you'll do anything. You're not home, remember? What are you going to do, Gibbs? Have _Tony_ punish me?"

"Stop it, Abby. Stop it."

"Why?" Abby would have shoved him if she'd thought she could get away with it, but there were valuable and delicate pieces of electronics around and she didn't want them broken. Explaining that would be a pain in the ass, not to mention getting replacements. "Why?" she repeated. "Do you even _care_ about how we feel?"

His jaw clenched and his hand was around the back of her neck, squeezing, before she could even blink. "Be very, very careful what you're asking for," he warned her softly. "Because you won't like what you get."

"Lately I haven't gotten anything, so what difference does it make?" Part of her wished Tony was there; she could really use the reassurance. But she was banking on the belief that Gibbs would neither seriously hurt her nor push it too far at work.

She was really, really banking on it.

Gibbs shoved her away, hard enough to make her stumble and nearly trip. She grabbed the workstation counter to steady herself, one hand rubbing the back of her neck. "Seven o'clock," he said coldly. "My house. Don't be late, or you'll regret this more than you already will."

"Right. Like I'm the one who needs to worry about being late coming home," she said sarcastically. "I'll be there."

"Drop the attitude, little girl. And get me those damn results." He turned and stalked out of her lab; Abby waited until he was gone to drop onto her stool, breathing deeply until she felt calm again.

She had to believe he wouldn't hurt her. She had to believe he'd respect her safeword.

She had to believe Tony could stop him if he didn't.

"God," she whispered, looking up at the ceiling. "Just help him get through this. Please."

Tony came down about fifteen minutes later, looking worried and concerned and she resisted the urge to go burrow into his arms. "Abs, what happened?" he demanded. "Gibbs came storming upstairs and left, didn't even say where he was going, although from the way he looked my guess is either the gym or the firing range. And he gave me the look of death before he walked out."

She managed to grin. "Well, remember how I said I was going to push him?"

He nodded. "Didn't go well?"

"Oh, it went fine. Seven o'clock, his place." Abby let out a deep breath. "And I'm really, really hoping we're right."

"Abs--if you're not sure--"

"I am," she interrupted. "I am." But she didn't unclasp her hands from her lap for fear that they'd tremble. "He didn't hurt me, Tony. He growled, but he didn't hurt me."

"Yeah, but we're also at work in the middle of a glass cube," Tony pointed out. "What happens when we're home?"

"We break him," Abby said softly. "And if it means I can't sit down for three days then that's what it means. If it means I end up with welts on my ass, then that's what it means." She touched her collar, feeling the soft leather under her fingers. "Trust me to safeword when I need to, Tony. And trust Gibbs to respect it. I need you to promise me you won't step in unless he doesn't."

He didn't like it; that was obvious from the way he sighed, smoothing his hair back. "What if you can't safeword, Abs? What if--"

"I'll be able to safeword," she said, determined to convince both of them. "But I won't need to."

"For your sake, Abs...I hope you're right." Tony crossed to her and kissed her on the forehead.

*****  
She got to the house around six-fifteen that night, figuring early was better than late and banking on Gibbs not being there.

She was right on both counts, although Tony was already there. "I bought Thai," he said, putting the boxes into the fridge. "I figured we could either eat it later or not, and either way it'll keep cold for a few hours."

"Good idea." Abby twirled a pigtail around her fingers, biting her lip.

"Scared?" Tony asked quietly. He closed the fridge and looked at her, leaning against the wall. "Abs, we don't have to do this. Not if you're this worried about it."

"I'm not scared. I'm just..." Abby blew out a deep breath, fluttering her bangs. "Well, maybe I'm a little nervous."

"Probably a good idea." Tony crossed to her and wrapped his arms around her, kissing the top of her head. "I wish this could be me," he murmured into her hair.

"No," Abby said instantly. "No, Tony, not--"

"I know. I know." Tony sighed. "I'd break before he would. Doesn't stop me from wanting to protect you."

"My hero." Abby grinned up at him and he kissed her, soft and gentle.

The door opened and they both jumped, although Tony didn't let go of her until it shut and Gibbs walked into the kitchen, jacket off, gun put away, and a cold expression on his face.

Tony stepped away slowly; Abby glanced at him one last time for reassurance--although whose, she couldn't say.

"What are you doing here, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked evenly. "This doesn't concern you."

"This is the three of us," Tony told him. "I'd say it does."

"Stay out of it." That was all he said before he walked toward Abby, forcing her to step back and back and back until she was pressed up against the counter, the hard edge of the Formica digging into her spine as she bent backwards, Gibbs leaning over her. Her hands went out to hold on for balance and she turned her head to the side, not wanting to see what was in his eyes.

"You want to push me, little girl?" Gibbs murmured in her ear. "You want to play this game?" He grabbed her upper arms and pulled her up, shoving her away from him and making her stumble back, grabbing the table instinctively.

She was glad she hadn't taken off her boots; her socks would slip on the floor if she had to run--and this was a chase, after all. Just not the one Gibbs thought it was.

"Little girl," Gibbs said softly, almost thoughtfully. "Little girl with the toys and the books, who likes to play pretend, don't you? You like to play games, don't you?" He walked toward her, one slow step, then another, and she backed up again. "You like to pretend this is all a game, don't you?"

Abby didn't answer; anything she said would be wrong.

"Guess what, little girl?" Gibbs smiled a little. "This isn't a game. And you've finally pushed it too far."

He took one more step toward her and she ran, turning and heading for the door. She didn't think she'd make it and she didn't want to.

And sure enough, she didn't. She got two steps before Gibbs' arm wrapped around her waist and he yanked her back against him, his other hand flat against her chest. "Don't even _think_ about it," he whispered.

"Fuck you," she spat, struggling in his hold, trying to elbow him, kick him, anything to make him let her go. It didn't work; he just tightened his hold on her and dodged her elbows until she hung in his grip, panting for breath.

"You weren't thinking of running away, were you?" Gibbs purred in her ear.

"Not at all," she said breathlessly. "Why would I? Other than the fact that you're fucking out of your _mind_ and--"

He clamped his hand over her mouth. "Don't push it any more than you have," he told her.

She bit his palm.

Gibbs pushed her head away, hard enough that she winced. "Don't you dare, girl."

"Or what? You'll shove me again? C'mon, Gibbs, give me something to be afraid of here. Or are you all bark and no bite? I'm hearing a lot of talking but--"

He let go of her and shoved her up against the wall, pinning her wrists over her head, grinding his cock into the cleft of her ass. Abby barely managed to turn her face to the side in time. "Little girl," he whispered. "Little whore." His hand slid under her skirt, tugging the thin strip of fabric between her legs. "You're wet already, aren't you, little whore?"

Gibbs pulled up on the thong, pressing it against her clit and sliding it deeper between her cheeks. Abby couldn't help it; she gasped. "My little whore," Gibbs murmured. He bit her earlobe sharply. "This is what you want, isn't it, little whore? To be fucked, to be used like a toy and thrown aside, isn't it?"

Abby gritted her teeth. "I thought you didn't play with dolls," she said sweetly.

He spanked her pussy, hard enough to make her cry out. "Don't talk back, little whore," he said tightly.

"Or what?" Abby threw at him. "C'mon, Gibbs. I'm not a suspect you can intimidate. I'm not Ivan Petrovich."

That was a gamble and she knew it; she held her breath, praying she hadn't gone too far.

"Don't you _dare_ say that name!" Gibbs hand landed on her ass, hard, and she gasped and twisted.

"Why not? Because he got away? Because he's a bastard who probably murdered his own daughter who you couldn't break? I'm not him, Gibbs, and you can't intimidate me the way you did him. You want to call me your whore? Fine. Do it. You want to hurt me? I'll let you, Gibbs. And what the fuck does it prove?" Abby swallowed, trying to keep her voice from shaking. "What does it prove, Gibbs?"

The growl he made was enough to make her shiver and his hand tightened on her wrists until she almost cried out in pain. "This isn't about him, little girl," Gibbs told her.

"Isn't it?" Abby yanked herself away from him, a little surprised when he let her. "Tell me the truth, Gibbs. Are you upset with me or him?" She rubbed her wrists, watching his face carefully.

He looked at her, and for the life of her she couldn't read what was in his eyes. But then he turned and took a step toward the door and she ran, planting herself squarely between him and it. "I don't think so," she said, seeing Tony come up behind him. "You're not running again, Gibbs."

"Or what?" he asked, mimicking her earlier words.

"Or we'll both stop you," Tony said quietly.

Gibbs visibly started at that, turning to look behind him at Tony. "Four days, Gibbs," Abby said softly, getting his attention. "You've been beating yourself up over this for four days. It sucks. But it's done."

"It is not done," Gibbs snapped. "Not until that murdering sack of shit--"

"Moby Dick," Tony interrupted quietly. "We can't win them all, Boss."

Gibbs clenched his jaw; Abby reached up and touched his face, her hand on his cheek. "We can't win them all, Gibbs."

"And where do you get _that_ piece of knowledge, little girl?" Gibbs asked harshly. "When did you suddenly gain all this insight?"

Abby's eyes narrowed. "I"ve worked forensics for you for five years," she said levelly. "I've worked hundreds, maybe even thousands of cases. And I know that you don't. Win. Them. All."

"I've got nearly nine years of being a cop and an agent," Tony added. "We can't close every case, Boss. We get most of them--"

"Both of you, shut up," Gibbs snapped.

"Why? Because we're right?" Abby asked.

His hands closed around her upper arms tightly and he gave her a little shake. "Five years does not give you the right to lecture me on case stats," he said, voice low. "And it sure as hell doesn't give you the right to tell me what to think about a case."

"Maybe not." Abby met his eyes. 'But being your lover does."

She saw him start a little at the word and pushed on, hoping it was the crack they'd been looking for. "What did you think, Gibbs? That we were just in this for the sex, or that we were only in this for the games?"

"You should know both of us better than that," Tony said softly.

"If I wanted to play, I could get that anywhere. If Tony wanted to get laid--please." Abby snorted. "But we're here, Gibbs."

"So?" he challenged.

"So stop being a bastard for five seconds and look at what you're _doing_! Stop trying to push us away, stop letting this case eat you up, just--stop it!" Abby said passionately. "Stop it, Gibbs. We're not going to let you."

"You're not going to let me." Gibbs let go of her arms. "Assuming you're right, how do you plan on stopping me?"

Abby nearly screamed in frustration. She reached up and grabbed his hair, pulling him down into a hard, deep kiss, pouring herself into it. And it worked, a little--she felt him relax a little and his hands came up to cradle her face.

Then he stiffened and pulled away.

"Damnit--" Abby's lower lip felt swollen; she resisted the urge to touch it. "For fuck's sake, Gibbs, I love you! Would you just let me--"

Oh. She hadn't meant to say it like that. She wasn't sure _how_ , but she was pretty sure that telling him she loved him in the middle of an argument that could destroy their relationship hadn't been on the list.

On the other hand, given the way he was staring at her, maybe it hadn't been a bad thing.

"Don't say that," he said finally, his voice hoarse. "Don't say that, Abby."

"Why not? It's true." She didn't reach for him--not yet. "I wouldn't have said it if it wasn't."

"You can't just say that and expect--"

"I don't expect a damn thing, Gibbs!" Abby interrupted. "But I'm not going to let you run away from me. From us." She stepped forward, standing toe-to-toe with him. In her boots, she was almost as tall as he was. "We deserve better. And you're not getting out of this."

"You started it," Tony said, stepping forward so he was almost pressed against Gibbs' back. "We're not going to let you end it."

"You do this for us," Abby said softly. "You take our pain and our anger and you help us get through it. You don't let us isolate ourselves."

"Remember Chip? You didn't let me get away with that," Tony reminded him. "And I hated you for it. But it was what I needed."

"It doesn't just go one way," Abby said. "Just because we sub for you doesn't mean we can't do the same thing."

He curled his hand around the back of her neck, squeezing enough that it would normally make her drop into headspace. She fought it, struggling to meet his eyes. Not yet. She couldn't fall yet.

"So what does that make you, little girl? My whipping boy? Whipping girl?" Gibbs' mouth twisted in a faint smile. "Because it's you, isn't it. Tony couldn't handle it and you can take more than he can anyway. Tell me, little girl--when did you set this up?"

"Does it matter?" Abby swallowed.

"No. Not really." Gibbs' grip on her neck tightened.

"Gibbs--" Tony said hesitantly.

"Stay out of it, Tony. I told you that before." Gibbs didn't look at him. "You'll pay for your part in this later." He smiled a little and Abby's stomach twisted. "But right now I have a little girl who needs some...attention."

She wasn't sure if he'd accepted the bait or if he was upset with her as _well_ as Petrovich at this point. She honestly had no idea how this was going to go.

And for the first time, she was honestly afraid he wouldn't respect her safeword.

"Fall for me, little girl," Gibbs purred. "Because you're going to need it."

Abby closed her eyes. She couldn't fall, not like this. Not when she was scared like this.

But if she didn't, she'd never be able to handle it.

Gibbs tightened his grip again; his other hand circled her wrist, thumb pressing over the tendons. "Do it," he said softly, evenly.

There was just enough of the Gibbs she knew in that voice, plus his hands on her--she shuddered and fell, welcoming subspace gladly.

He released her with a little push, and she stepped backwards, hands behind her and head bowed.

"Strip," he told her. "And kneel."

Her hands trembled a little as she unlaced her boots and took them off, along with the rest of her clothes. She didn't bother folding them, just shoved them to the side and knelt, waiting for instructions.

Gibbs circled her slowly; her skin prickled with awareness, even though he didn't touch her. "Little girl," he said softly. "Pretty little thing. Offering herself up on a silver platter." He chuckled softly. "You should have listened before, little girl. This isn't a game anymore."

His foot nudged her legs apart; she shifted her knees so her legs were spread as wide as she could make them. She noticed vaguely that he wasn't wearing shoes, but that didn't matter right now.

"Upstairs, little girl. Don't stand up."

He didn't normally make her do this, but then again...Abby crawled to the stairs, her knees protesting as she climbed up the smooth wood and into the bedroom, where she settled herself on the bed, hands behind her back.

Gibbs came into the room and went right to the toy cabinet--Abby caught a glimpse of Tony in the doorway but ignored him. She needed all her focus to be on Gibbs right now.

And thinking of...Gibbs set a few things down on the dresser; she couldn't see what they were but figured she'd find out soon enough.

Sure enough, when he came back over to her, his hands weren't empty. She winced inwardly, seeing the clamps he had; they were heavy, tight, and he'd only used them on her a couple of times before. He'd never used them on Tony.

She couldn't hold back the gasp of pain as he fastened each one, flicking the weight on the end.

"Hands and knees, little girl," he told her, stepping away.

Oh, fuck, this was going to hurt.

Abby swallowed the whimper as she moved, the weights swinging gently until they settled. For now, at any rate--as soon as he did anything, they'd move when she did. This...this was going to hurt. A lot.

"You wanted to be my whipping girl?" Gibbs asked silkily. "Then that's what you'll get."

She heard the crack a split second before she felt the line of fire across her ass. From the sound--and the feel--that was the single-tailed whip, the one he didn't usually use until she was warmed up enough to handle it.

It cracked again, across her thighs, and she cried out. A third time, this one right where her ass met her thighs, and she cried out again, tears forming in her eyes.

Four. Five. She was half-sobbing now, pain in her breasts from the clamps, her ass and thighs from the whip. He'd never used it on her like this before, not this hard and steady. Not...

Six. Seven. Eight, and the pain was almost enough to throw her out of headspace. She couldn't take much more of this and oh God, what if--

Nine.

Ten.

Eleven--and she broke. She hit the bed, curling into a ball, breath hitching in her throat. "Red," she gasped out, tears rolling down her eyes. "Red--please--"

She felt Tony's arms around her a split second later, holding her close, his lips pressed against her hair. "Shh," he whispered, kissing her temple. "Shh, baby, it's okay. It's okay."

Abby huddled against him, whimpering. "I couldn't--I--"

"It's okay, baby. It's okay." Tony tilted her face up, brushing away the tears. "You're safe."

"But--if--" She had no idea if Gibbs had stopped or if Tony had shoved him out of the way, no clue what had really happened.

"As soon as you safeworded, he backed off," Tony told her. "C'mon, baby. Let me get these off you."

She bit her lip, nodding. It was going to hurt--and he pulled the clamps off and she cried out, curling up around her breasts. "That's it," Tony murmured. "Just relax, baby. It's over."

A tentative hand brushed against her arm and she looked to see Gibbs kneeling next to the bed, looking about as uncertain as she'd ever seen him. "Abby," he said softly, and there was a question and an answer all in her name.

It was over. And--it wasn't. She hadn't been the only one who'd broken, if the look in his eyes was any indication. Now she just had to convince _him_ it was okay.

Abby pulled out of Tony's embrace and slid to her knees next to Gibbs, reaching out to lay her palm against his cheek. "It's all right," she whispered.

He traced the path of a tear down her face. "Can you forgive me?" he asked quietly.

"For what?" Abby leaned forward and kissed him gently. "I set this up, Gibbs. I pushed you into it."

"And I forced your safeword," he pointed out.

"But you respected it." Abby tugged him onto the bed--she couldn't stay on her knees forever and the comforter would be easier to sit on than the wooden floor. "It's okay, Gibbs. Question is, can you forgive _us_?"

"You, yes." Gibbs smiled wryly. "I'll deal with Tony another time." He sighed. "You set this up, Abs, but I'm the one who pushed it. I wanted you to safeword, do you understand? I pushed you there, and I wasn't going to stop until you did."

"But you respected it when I did," Abby reminded him.

"That was why it wasn't Tony, wasn't it?" Gibbs asked, raising an eyebrow. "You trusted me, but only so far."

"I knew you'd honor it if I safeworded," Abby said simply.

"No, you didn't, Abs." Gibbs tapped her nose. "I saw your face downstairs and I saw you when I walked in here. You were scared, pretty girl. You didn't know how far you'd pushed me and how far I'd push you. I scared you, Abby, and I did it on purpose. I wanted you afraid of me, and I wasn't going to stop until you safeworded."

"And it worked. Gibbs, I knew what I was getting into. I'm not going to lie, because you scared the crap out of me. But it's _okay_. It's okay now. You stopped when I needed you to." Abby smiled a little. "And it's over now. It worked, didn't it?"

Gibbs snorted. "Save me from pushy bottoms who think they know me better than I know myself," he said dryly.

"Yeah, but in this case we were right." Abby grinned cheerfully. "Weren't we?"

He smiled a little. "C'mere, pretty girl," he murmured, holding out a hand.

Abby crawled into his lap, feeling his arms wrap around her. She rested her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes, just soaking in the feeling of Gibbs holding her. He stroked her hair and she sighed with contentment, nearly purring when Tony settled on her other side and kissed her shoulder.

It was over.


	7. Positive Reinforcement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It shouldn't have been a surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This comes after [Control Theory](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/396416.html) but before [Post Traumatic](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/433210.html) and [Whipping Boy](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/452944.html). With many, many thanks to [](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/profile)[**crimsonquills**](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/) for the beta and [](http://ksl2025.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://ksl2025.livejournal.com/)**ksl2025** for the title.

Title: Positive Reinforcement  
Author: rebecca  
Pairing: Gibbs/Tony, Gibbs/Abby/Tony implied  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: It shouldn't have been a surprise.  
Series: Applied Psychology  
Notes: This comes after [Control Theory](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/396416.html) but before [Post Traumatic](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/433210.html) and [Whipping Boy](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/452944.html). With many, many thanks to [](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/profile)[**crimsonquills**](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/) for the beta and [](http://ksl2025.livejournal.com/profile)[**ksl2025**](http://ksl2025.livejournal.com/) for the title.

The note came in the mail. It looked innocuous, unassuming. Just a white rectangular envelope Tony didn't pay any attention to until he opened it.

Then the contents slammed into him like a freight train and he dropped it, his bag, and his coffee all at once. The coffee splattered over his shirt and the note, thankfully obscuring what was on the paper. The scalding heat didn't even register for another few seconds.

"Tony!" Abby came running over, hands full of paper towels. "What'd you do?"

"Nothing," he said, managing to peel off his shirt and wipe off his skin, hiding the note in the process. "Just dropped my coffee."

"Ow." She wrinkled her nose. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He summoned a grin and kissed the top of her head. "Let me go find a sweatshirt."

"Why bother? You know Gibbs is going to show up in a few minutes anyway." Abby dropped down on his couch, swinging her legs over the arm.

"And you two can go have all sorts of fun. I'm not feeling all that social tonight--something about getting scalded by hot coffee." Tony gathered up the paper towels and the mail and dumped them in the trash. "Give me a sec, okay?" Before she could answer, he disappeared into his bedroom.

The wood of his dresser was solid under his hands, something to hold onto while he fought to breathe, to calm down. He'd known she'd be released eventually. Assault only counted for so much, even against a cop, and with good behavior...it wasn't that much of a surprise. Or it shouldn't have been.

So she was out. No big deal. She was in Philly, and he was here in DC. It was fine. It wasn't like he was going to go looking for her. And he was over this now. She wasn't the boogeyman anymore. Between Abby and Gibbs, he was learning--slowly, but he was learning--what the scene was _supposed_ to be like. What it should be, instead of what she'd taught him it was.

It took him a minute, but he fought the memories down and grabbed a sweatshirt, tugging it on before heading back into his living room. Gibbs was there, sitting on his couch with Abby perched on the arm next to him. "You all right?" Gibbs asked. He had one arm around Abby's waist and looked completely at home and Tony wanted nothing more than to go over and sink down at his feet.

"Just a little burned," he said with a grin. "I'm fine."

"We were thinking of ordering in Chinese," Abby told him. "You want?"

The thought of food made his stomach roll. "Not really hungry right now, to be honest. You two go on and have food and stuff--I'll be fine. Sorry for the lack of hospitality."

Two pairs of eyes--one green, one blue--studied him carefully, and for a moment Tony wasn't sure they'd buy it. But Gibbs nodded and they both stood up.

"I'll see you in the office tomorrow," he said simply.

"Okay."

Gibbs kissed him; it took everything Tony had not to melt into it, not to fall to his knees. He bit back a moan and couldn't hide the shudder when Gibbs' hand closed around the back of his neck. "Sure you want to be alone tonight?" Gibbs murmured against his mouth.

No. God, no. "Yeah," he said, swallowing.

It took a moment before Gibbs nodded. "Tomorrow night," he said quietly. "My place, nine o'clock. Just you and me."

"But Abby--"

"Just you and me," Gibbs repeated evenly. Tony dropped his eyes, nodding.

"All right."

He slept restlessly, his night disturbed by dreams and half-remembered things. Work the next day was exhausting; it took more energy to hide his unsettled mood than anything else. Gibbs was too perceptive, and Abby was too intelligent; if he wasn't so good at undercover work he didn't think he'd have fooled either of them. As it was, he wasn't sure.

Quitting time rolled around and Tony made his escape without having to say goodbye to anyone. Abby would be hurt, and Gibbs would give him a hard time about it later, but he just didn't care right then. Then again, he had a feeling Gibbs wasn't going to be easy on him tonight no matter what.

He had four hours to get himself together before he was expected to show up at Gibbs' for the night. From the way he felt, he'd need every minute of that time.

At eight fifty-seven, having gone for a long run, showered, and shaved, he knocked on Gibbs' door.

He didn't have to knock twice. Gibbs opened the door and waved him inside silently, taking Tony's bag and setting it down. "Did you eat?" he asked.

"No, but I'm not hungry." He knew better than to even try and dissemble where Gibbs was concerned. It'd only get him in trouble.

"You should eat something." Gibbs stroked the side of his face. "There's sandwich makings in the kitchen."

"I'm not..." Tony shook his head. "I'm not hungry."

"Tony." The soft, commanding tone in Gibbs' voice was something Tony couldn't help but respond to, no matter his mental state. "Eat something."

He sighed. "Yes sir."

The sandwich he made wasn't as big as he normally would have made it, but he got it all down, along with a glass of juice. He cleared away his place and waited, unsure what Gibbs wanted next.

Gibbs walked around him slowly, stopping behind him and brushing a kiss over the back of his neck. "What's got you so upset?" he asked softly. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Tony shook his head. "I just didn't sleep well last night."

"Don't lie to me." Gibbs moved in front of him, meeting his eyes evenly. "Don't you dare."

"I'm not. I swear. I just...I didn't sleep well. And when I did sleep, I..." Tony looked down. "I dreamed about her," he said, barely audibly.

"She's not here," Gibbs said. He curled his hand around the back of Tony's neck. "I am."

"I know."

Gibbs tightened his hand a little; Tony closed his eyes, wanting to fall for him, to kneel at his feet and wait and just...surrender. Just turn himself over to Gibbs.

But he couldn't make himself move.

Gibbs' fingers slipped into his hair, tugging him down for a kiss. Slow and gentle, it made him wonder what Gibbs had planned for the night. Gibbs wasn't usually this laid-back.

"Upstairs," Gibbs said quietly. "Undress and lie down on your stomach."

"Gibbs--I don't know if I can do this tonight," Tony blurted. "I shouldn't be--I can't--"

"Shh," Gibbs murmured, resting his fingers over Tony's mouth. "Relax, Tony. Just relax."

He swallowed, fighting for control. Ironic, really--he came to Gibbs to let go of his control, not hold on to it. But if he gave in now, he'd end up a shaking mess on Gibbs' kitchen floor and he couldn't do that. "I can't," he whispered. "Gibbs, please..."

"Do you trust me?"

Tony looked down. He knew what Gibbs was really asking. In the short time since this had all started, that had become a codephrase. If he said yes, he was agreeing to the scene. If he stayed silent, it meant he couldn't play that night.

He wanted to keep silent, he really did, but...too much of him wanted this. "Yes," he whispered.

Gibbs tipped his chin up, his fingers warm. "Then go upstairs and get undressed," he said evenly. "And lie down."

As Tony climbed the stairs, his feet felt like blocks of wood and his hands felt like ice. He undressed mechanically, folding his clothes and putting them down, before stretching out on the bed with his head pillowed on his arms.

He heard Gibbs' footsteps and closed his eyes, waiting. His throat tightened and he couldn't stop his hand from clenching against the sheets. He should have kept his mouth shut, should have just left. He couldn't do this tonight, couldn't let Gibbs take him down, not without breaking apart.

The footsteps stopped next to the bed, but Gibbs didn't touch him. He just stood there. Tony felt the weight of his eyes, the thoughtful look that missed nothing. But Gibbs didn't say anything, or do anything, and Tony couldn't move.

When Gibbs finally touched him, it was so light Tony wasn't even sure he was really feeling it. Gibbs' fingers stroked over his hair, down his spine, gentle and easy, so light it made his skin prickle. "Beautiful boy," Gibbs murmured. "My beautiful boy."

Kristen had never made him feel like this. With her, it had always been about what he was willing to take from her. How much he could handle. And he'd usually ended up feeling raw and wrecked afterwards, his body and his spirit protesting. But Gibbs...Gibbs made him feel wanted, like what he needed was the most important thing. Gibbs held him after, soothing him, keeping him safe until he could handle reality again. Tony had spent more than one night with Gibbs on one side of him and Abby on the other, both of them holding him and petting him as he swam back up from headspace.

The complete contrast made tears prick behind his eyes.

"Just relax," Gibbs said softly, stroking his back. "Go down for me, Tony. Just relax."

He shuddered, swallowing hard. "Yes, sir," he whispered, finally letting himself fall.

He wasn't surprised by the blindfold Gibbs fastened over his eyes. But he couldn't identify the sounds he heard. He wondered a little what they were--just not enough to really care one way or the other. He'd find out if he needed to.

Tony felt the bed dip when Gibbs crawled onto it, kneeling between his legs. He arched into the kiss Gibbs brushed over the back of his neck, blushing a little at Gibbs' chuckle. "Such a hedonist," Gibbs said fondly. "You'll love this, then."

By this time, Tony could recognize the sound of the nightstand drawer opening. The flip of a bottle cap was familiar as well, but the scent of..."Vanilla?" he asked in surprise.

"Shh." Gibbs' fingers slid into his hair, massaging his scalp. "I told you to relax. Don't think about it, don't worry about it, just...relax."

He couldn't form words anyway; the scalp massage was melting what brain cells he had left.

"Smells like cookies," he murmured when Gibbs began working on his shoulders, the pressure firm and steady. "'S nice."

"I thought you'd like it." Tony heard the smile in Gibbs' voice.

Gibbs worked his way down Tony's back slowly, coaxing each knot into submission before moving on to the next. Tony was limp and purring by the time Gibbs finished, wiping the excess oil off with a towel. The faintly rough texture felt wonderful.

"Don't fall asleep on me," Gibbs said wryly.

"Mm-mm. Won't, sir."

"Good." Gibbs was quiet for a moment. "I know, Tony," he said finally.

He didn't quite make the connection. "Sir?"

"I flagged the Philadelphia criminal database. I know."

Every muscle in Tony's body locked up at once. His breath caught in his throat and he felt his heart beginning to beat faster. "It's not--" He swallowed. "Sir, it's not--"

"Not what, Tony? Not terrifying? Not a big deal? Not something I need to worry about?" Gibbs' voice was soft, but the words fell like stones. "You don't get to make that decision, Tony. Not here."

"It's so stupid," Tony whispered. "She's there. She doesn't know where I am."

"She hurt you. She scared the crap out of you." Gibbs stroked his back, coaxing him to relax. "Abby and I are still working on undoing what she did to you. It's not stupid, Tony."

"It feels that way." Tony swallowed. "Sir, maybe you should just let me--"

"If you ask me to let you go home I'm cuffing you to this bed," Gibbs warned him. "You're not running away, Tony."

He didn't want to run away. He wanted to curl up in Gibbs' arms and let himself be held. He wanted to fall for Gibbs, until Gibbs was the only thing that mattered to him.

He just wasn't sure he could.

There was silence in the bedroom for a long moment. Gibbs kept stroking his back, petting him, and in spite of everything Tony found himself relaxing into it. "That's it," Gibbs murmured, his caresses becoming more languid, designed to arouse, not soothe. "Focus on me, Tony. Just me. I've got you. Just focus on me."

Tony shuddered. He felt himself spiraling down, deeper than before, down so far nothing else existed for him. "Sir..."

Gibbs kissed the back of his neck. "Mine," he said softly. "My boy."

Tears burned behind his eyes. The word trembled on his lips and it took him two tries to say it. "Master," he whispered.

Gibbs kissed the back of his neck again, teeth scraping gently over his skin. "Turn over."

His body felt loose and liquid, like it didn't belong to him. He moved, stretching his arms over his head, waiting. Gibbs' fingers circled his wrist, squeezing gently, and he shivered. "Trust me," Gibbs said, thumb resting over his pulse.

Tony managed a nod.

The cuffs were soft around his wrists, not too tight but fitting closely against his skin. He tugged at them, testing, and was momentarily alarmed when he couldn't get any slack. "Shh," Gibbs murmured, stroking his chest and his stomach. "Trust me. I've got you safe."

"Yes, Master," he whispered, relaxing against the bed.

"Good boy." Gibbs' hand flattened on his stomach, fingers spread wide. The warmth of his touch soaked into Tony's skin like sunlight.

And then his mouth was on Tony's, strong and gentle and demanding, possessing him easily. "Don't hold back," Gibbs said against his lips. "I want everything you have, Tony. I don't want you to worry about coming without permission, about pleasing me...I want to see you surrender."

Tony wasn't sure if he whimpered or if he just thought he had.

Gibbs kissed him again; Tony tasted coffee and a hint of...cinnamon, maybe? It didn't matter. What mattered was Gibbs' mouth on his, Gibbs' tongue teasing his own, Gibbs' hands wrapped around his wrists, just below the line of the cuffs. He arched into it, wanting more, hungry for Gibbs' hands on him. "Master, please," he breathed, his head falling back against the pillows. "Please, touch me..."

"Touch you how, Tony? Like this?" Gibbs' fingers skimmed down Tony's arms, traced over his collarbone, down the center of his chest. "Or this?" He slid his hands up Tony's sides, the caress heavy enough to make Tony groan in pleasure. "Or this?" The warm wet flick of his tongue over Tony's nipple made him shudder, twisting into it when Gibbs repeated it on the other side.

He shook his head blindly. "Anything, Master," he begged. "Please..."

Gibbs laughed softly, kissing his stomach. "Beautiful boy," he said softly, crawling up Tony's body. "Beautiful boy--and all mine." He kissed Tony again, harder, more demanding now. "No one else, Tony. Just you and me and Abby. Understand?"

"Yes," Tony said, his voice raspy. "Yes, Master."

"Good boy." Gibbs nipped his lower lip. "Spread your legs, Tony."

He did, moaning a little at the drag of skin on skin as Gibbs slid back down, caressing his skin, the line between hip and groin, licking and nipping his thighs. Gibbs cupped his balls in one hand, fondling them gently; Tony groaned, desperate for more contact. But Gibbs didn't seem inclined to indulge him just yet.

"I should keep you like this," Gibbs murmured. His hand slid back under Tony's body, rubbing the skin behind his balls. "My beautiful boy. So perfect like this."

Tony whimpered helplessly. "Master," he whispered.

Gibbs licked the head of his cock, making him gasp, trying not to arch into it. "Just let it all go," Gibbs whispered. "Let it all go for me."

He bent his head again and took Tony's cock into his mouth; Tony closed his eyes and gave himself over to it.

Liquid gold ran through him, sending sparks through his body. He wouldn't have been surprised to see his skin glittering with the pure heat of it, shimmering like air in the desert. He'd never known how much he wanted this--needed this--and God, he was going to break, fall apart, and he couldn't stop it. He heard his breath coming in ragged gasps, his heart pounding. He tasted salt on his upper lip and licked it away. His hands were sweaty where they tried to grab the chain between the handcuffs.

He couldn't think, couldn't do anything, and he was two seconds away from coming already and--Gibbs slid one finger inside him, dry, and he cried out something harsh and incomprehensible and came helplessly.

Slowly, he opened his eyes, blinking until the blurry sight of Gibbs resolved into something clearer and in focus. "Um," he said intelligently.

Gibbs chuckled and leaned down to kiss him gently. "With me, Tony?"

"Um." He felt loose and liquid, like his bones had melted and all that was left was a pile of content and satiation. "Ask me in the morning?" Slowly, he felt himself swimming up from headspace, coming back to something resembling normal. Not entirely, but enough for now.

"We're not there yet." Gibbs reached over Tony's head and uncuffed his wrists, bringing each to his lips before setting them down on the bed. "And I'm not done with you yet."

Tony blinked. "Um--I--"

Gibbs laughed. "Not like that." He moved to sit against the headboard, legs out in front of him. "Come here, Tony," he said quietly.

He shouldn't have been able to fit in Gibbs' lap--it was ridiculous. He was a grown man, taller than Gibbs, even, but...somehow he managed, ending up with his head on GIbbs' shoulder.

Tony closed his eyes and let himself breathe in the scent of the man. "Master," he murmured, for no other reason than he _could_.

Gibbs rubbed his back gently. "What does that mean, Tony?"

He was supposed to be able to _think_ now? Tony tried to make his brain focus, but couldn't manage it. "I...Master, I can't think," he said sheepishly.

"I'd be surprised if you could," Gibbs said wryly. He kissed the top of Tony's head. "So listen carefully."

Tony nodded. "Yes, Master."

"You don't lie, you don't pretend, and you don't hide things from me, do you understand? Something like this, you should have told me right away. I'll take care of you, Tony. But I can't do that if you don't let me. And if you don't trust me enough to tell me when something's wrong, I can't keep you as my boy." Gibbs tightened his arms around Tony. "I'm not going to let you go, Tony," he said quietly. "Which means you need to be honest with me. You want to play the games at work, fine. You want to hide behind the jokes and the masks and the frat-boy side of you everyone else buys, fine. I'm not asking you to change that. But I'm telling you--and no, Tony, I'm not asking--that you're going to be honest with me from now on. You're not going to lie, dissemble, obfuscate, or any other fancy word you can think of. And you're going to be honest with Abby, as well."

It was terrifying. Even now, even with Gibbs' arms around him and his whole body still purring quietly from orgasm, the thought made a cold ball of fear tighten in his stomach. "I--" He stopped, burying his head in the crook of Gibbs' neck.

"We're not going to let you go," Gibbs said again. "But we're going to make you be honest with us."

They wouldn't let him go. They wouldn't--but--"I don't--I--Master, please, I'll try, but--"

"Shh," Gibbs murmured. "Shh. Easy, Tony. Relax. No one's perfect, and you're so used to hiding it'll take time. But I'm letting you know now that this is what I expect. I'll tell you what I told Abby. I'm not a harsh master, but I do expect to be obeyed."

Tony nodded. "I'll try," he whispered.

"That's fine." Gibbs kissed the top of his head again. "So long as you remember that we're not letting you go."

They sat in silence for a long minute or three, before Tony's body started protesting and he slid off Gibbs' lap so he could crawl under the covers. Gibbs slid in next to him and pulled Tony back against him, kissing his shoulder. "Did you have any idea she was getting out?" he asked.

Tony shook his head. "I'd kind of repressed the whole thing. I wanted to forget she was alive, so I made myself forget the length of her sentence."

"She doesn't know where you are. She's not going to know. And it wouldn't be in her best interest to find you even if she _could_."

"I know." Tony sighed. "I know." He closed his eyes. "It was just a shock, you know? It just kind of threw me back to...then. It...it was weird, then. I was always so careful to hide the marks, not even my partner knew. And he was one of the first ones on the scene, when...well, you know. He couldn't even look me in the eye after that. Didn't come to the hospital, anything. I'd coached his son's basketball team and he wouldn't even visit me. Because it wasn't just that I'd been assaulted--that would have been bad enough, but they'd have stuck by me then. But being assaulted by a _woman_ \--that was worse. And given the set up...you didn't have to be a genius to put the pieces together."

He sighed. "I had a friend down in Silver Spring who knew a bit about the scene and was horrified _for_ me, instead of _because_ of me. He gave me a place to stay until I found the job in Baltimore."

"Good friend," Gibbs commented.

Tony smiled a little. "One of the best."

Gibbs kissed his shoulder again and settled Tony a little more comfortably. "Can you sleep now?" he asked.

"I...think so."

"Try." Gibbs kissed his jaw.

He sighed and yawned. Maybe he could sleep after all. With Gibbs there...

He was safe. Gibbs had him safe.

It was on that thought he fell into a sound--and dreamless--sleep.


	8. Impulse Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So much for avoiding old memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part of the Applied Psychology universe and takes place shortly after [Positive Reinforcement](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/454290.html). Please read the previous stories before this one.

Title: Impulse Control  
Author: rebecca  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby/Tony  
Rating: R for content  
Summary: So much for avoiding old memories.  
Notes: This is part of the Applied Psychology universe and takes place shortly after [Positive Reinforcement](http://www.livejournal.com/users/blueraccoon/454290.html). Please read the previous stories before this one.

I cannot thank [](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/profile)[**crimsonquills**](http://crimsonquills.livejournal.com/) enough for this beta; this was a monster and she did an amazing job putting it together. Any mistakes are, of course, mine.

"Philadelphia." The word tasted like dust in his mouth and felt like lead in his stomach. "You want me to send DiNozzo to Philadelphia."

Jen closed the file on her desk and looked up at him. "For three days, yes. As a senior NCIS agent--"

"Which is exactly why I can't afford to send him," Gibbs interrupted. "He's my senior field agent, Jen. I can't send him off to some...conference. Send McGee, or Ziva if you absolutely need to send someone from my team, but not DiNozzo."

She stood, resting her hands on her desk. "Ziva's not officially an NCIS agent, Jethro. And McGee doesn't have the seniority or the social skills required. DiNozzo's good at schmoozing--you've told _me_ that before. It's a three-day multi-jurisdictional conference in Philadelphia. With budget time coming up on the Hill, I need to show that NCIS can and will play nicely with other agencies--something _you_ seem to keep forgetting!" Jen glared at him.

The problem was, he couldn't really refute that argument. Theoretically, he could mention Tony's prior work experience in Philly--but she'd think of it as another reason to send him there. He had no good argument to keep Tony away from Philadelphia, aside from the fact that Tony was too fragile to deal with the Bitch (as both Gibbs and Abby called her).

Gibbs reminded himself that just because she was out, it didn't mean Tony was going to find her. _She_ wouldn't know he was in town, so unless he sought her out...

Damn. He was just foolhardy enough to do that, and while Gibbs could order him not to, he knew Tony wouldn't listen.

"He'll leave Thursday night and return Sunday," Jen said briskly. "So you'll only be without an agent for one day."

"Unless we get a case over the weekend," Gibbs pointed out.

"There _are_ such things as other agents," she countered. She held out a file folder. "His hotel information and his registration packet. Go tell him, Jethro."

He glowered, taking the folder. "If there are other agents, why not send one of _them_?"

"I need someone from my best team." With that, Jen sat down, turning to her computer.

Gibbs really didn't have anything to say to that, so he left.

****  
"Philadelphia." Tony sounded about as numb as Gibbs had feared. "I'm going to Philly?"

"Three days. You leave Thursday." Gibbs handed him the folder.

"Well, it'll be nice to get a cheesesteak again," Tony quipped lightly, but Gibbs didn't miss the brief flash of fear in his eyes.

"Conference starts Friday and runs til Sunday morning. I expect you back here by Sunday afternoon," Gibbs said matter-of-factly.

"Sure thing, Boss." Tony grinned. "Wonder if I'll be able to look up any of my old buddies from the Philly PD."

"I doubt you'll have time." And that was a warning he knew Tony understood.

"Oh well." Tony shrugged. "Maybe another time."

Gibbs grunted and went back to his own desk. "Doesn't anyone around here have work to do?" he demanded irritably.

****  
"So." Tony sat Indian-style on the bed. "Philadelphia."

"Yes." Gibbs didn't touch him, much as he wanted to. He pushed himself up against the headboard instead, watching Tony. "Can you handle it?"

Here, there was no dissembling, no lying, and all three of them knew it.

"I..." Tony looked down at his lap. "I think so."

Abby crawled over to him, kissing his cheek. "I wish I could go with you," she said reluctantly. "Gibbs, do you--"

"If you can find a way to explain to Jen why you want time off the same time as Tony, without making her think you're involved, I'll let you go. But you'd better think fast, because he leaves in two days," Gibbs told her.

She sighed. "I hate it when you're all logical," she grumbled. "What happened to 'trust your gut'?"

"I'll be fine, Abs." Tony kissed her temple. "Really. I'll be in a hotel for three days, I probably won't see a damn person I know, and I'll just go to the stupid panels and listen to people get our name wrong and not know who we are and come home on Sunday."

"You'll call every night," Gibbs told him.

"What are you, my mother?" Tony asked impudently.

"Don't start, boy," Gibbs told him. "It's bad enough I have to let you go. Don't push it."

He was gratified to see Tony drop his eyes. "Sorry, Master," he mumbled.

Abby sighed again and climbed into his lap, burrowing closer than she should have been physically able to do. Gibbs was convinced she was half-cat sometimes, with the way she managed to snuggle close to both of them. He swore he'd heard her purr.

"Philly isn't so far away," she said, although Gibbs wasn't sure who she was trying to convince.

"I'll be okay, Abby." Tony held her close, his cheek pressed against her hair. "I'll be fine."

"You'd better be," she grumbled. "Or I'm going to kick your ass."

"That's his job." Tony grinned.

"I'd let her do it," Gibbs said wryly. "She'd be more creative. And vicious."

She would, too. Abby was a damn good sub, but she was perfectly willing and able to switch. He'd let her play with Tony before, albeit under his supervision.

From the way Tony winced, he agreed with Gibbs. "I'll be _fine_ ," he insisted. "Honest."

"You'll be fine. And now this topic of conversation is over." Gibbs' tone didn't leave any room for argument and he was relieved to see both Tony and Abby nod.

****  
He was exhausted, stiff, and wanted nothing more than to take a hot shower, have a beer, and fall into bed--preferably with Abby on one side of him and Gibbs on the other. What should have been a two hour drive--three depending on traffic--had turned into seven, thanks to a five-car pileup on 95. And then he'd had to fight with the hotel clerk who'd lost his reservation. It had taken fifteen minutes, two clerks, and a manager before they'd found the damn thing and given him his key.

At least the room didn't smell like cigarette smoke and the shower had decent water pressure. He stayed in it until the water began to run cool, letting it rinse away the stiffness and the grime of driving all night, especially in a car that wasn't his. He'd thought about taking his baby, but he didn't want to subject her to Philadelphia traffic and the trucks on 95. So he'd taken one of the blue government sedans and driven north in a soulless box that handled--well, it was a government car, and at least he'd get reimbursed for gas.

Okay. One out of three, and that was about as good as he was going to get. He wasn't leaving the room for a beer, and Abby and Gibbs…right. No sense in thinking about what he couldn't have.

He pulled on a pair of boxers and a T-shirt and fell onto the bed. It was king-size, like his bed or Gibbs' bed, but the mattress wasn't nearly as comfortable and he didn't have anyone to share it with.

Just as he was thinking about calling, his cell phone rang. "DiNozzo," he said wearily.

"Tony! Where the hell are you?" Abby demanded. "We thought we'd hear from you _hours_ ago!"

"No one checked the traffic? I got held up for four hours on 95, and then the hotel…don't ask."

"You poor thing." Abby sounded sympathetic. "We won't keep you long. Here, let me put Gibbs on."

"Thanks, Abby," he said, rolling onto his back.

He wondered what would happen if he slept through the conference. _Someone's_ ass would get kicked, but he wasn't sure whose. And he didn't really want to take chances that it would be his.

"You mean to tell me you don't know the back roads?" Gibbs asked by way of hello.

"Sure I do, Boss. I just can't _get_ to them when I'm stuck in the middle of the highway, two miles from the nearest exit, and no one's going _anywhere_ because there's a massive accident and we're waiting for the Life Flight helicopter to get there and take whatever survivors there are. By the time it cleared up, it would have taken more time to take the back roads than to just stay on 95." Tony exhaled deeply. "And I'm fine, thanks."

"I know you're fine, Tony. If you weren't bitching at me, I'd know something was wrong."

He had to laugh. "Yeah, well. First panel's at ten tomorrow, so I should get some sleep. It's already two in the morning."

"All right. Call if you need us."

"I will." He hung up the phone, not sure whether that had been a lie or not.

It didn't really matter.

And if he fell asleep hugging a pillow, no one was there to know.

****  
Friday passed much the way Tony had figured it would. He sat in on some panels, schmoozed and bullshitted and traded stories, explained over and over what NCIS was, and saved himself from dying of boredom by imagining what Gibbs and Abby were up to without him. He didn't fool himself by thinking they were waiting; they needed their time together just as he needed time alone with Gibbs. It was part of what made their strange threesome work, although he'd still have loved to watch them together.

But the day passed without incident. He even got invited out to dinner with a couple of Texan U.S. Marshals with drawls so thick Tony could have cut them, a remarkably non-uptight FBI agent, a DEA agent who looked as bored as Tony felt, and a really cute ATF agent who looked about sixteen and had to have made the height requirement by the skin of her teeth.

They went out for Mexican, had cold Coronas and spicy salsa, and were still laughing and talking when Tony's phone buzzed at ten.

"One sec," he said, fumbling it out of his pocket. "Yeah, DiNozzo."

"You forget something, Tony?" That was Gibbs' 'I'm not pissed yet but I'm getting there really fast' voice.

It was also the voice that almost always dropped him into headspace, even if it was only a little. Shit. "Guys, I'll be right back," he said, sliding out of the booth and outside. "No, sir," he said quietly, once he was out in the cool air. "I went out to dinner with some people from the conference, that's all."

"Having fun?"

Okay. Whew. He'd skipped 'I'm getting pissed' and gone back to 'I'll let you get away with it this time'. "Yeah," he said, leaning against the rough concrete of the wall. "Well, not the conference so much but the people are pretty cool. I even found a Fed who doesn't have a stick up his ass. Unfortunately, he's in LA."

"That's California for you," Gibbs said wryly. "Not all Fibbies are as bad as Sachs, you know."

"And I'm sure he wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't trying to put me away on murder charges," Tony agreed. "Anyway, I'm fine, I'm out to dinner, and they're going to start wondering where I am in a minute."

"Abby's asleep or I'd let her talk to you. She needed me to take her down hard before." Gibbs sighed. "She's worried about you."

"I'll be fine. Honest."

"I know." Gibbs sighed. "I'll see you Sunday. Don't drink too much."

He hung up before Tony could say goodbye.

"And some things never change," he said wryly, looking at his phone. "Right."

He made it back to the booth in time to catch the tail end of a story about the Fibbie's younger brother, and while he'd missed the beginning, the rest of it was funny enough that he laughed with everyone else.

"Gotta love Charlie," the Fed said wryly. "If it's not numbers, he's kind of clueless."

"It could be worse. He could be like our forensics expert. Nine tattoos, she's afraid of sunlight, and she makes her own perfume that smells like gunpowder." Tony grinned. "That, and she lives on Caff-Pow."

"You do know the caffeine levels in that are one step away from being declared illegal by the FDA, right?" That was Julie, the DEA agent.

"It doesn't surprise me. But that's Abby for you."

"She sounds like fun," one of the Marshals drawled.

Tony reminded himself not to follow up on that statement.

"Anyway," the ATF girl said with a yawn. "It's tired, I'm late, and we've got these stupid panels to get through tomorrow. Anyone else turning into a pumpkin?"

"Yeah," Julie said reluctantly. "And I've got to call home, or my kid will never forgive me. It's bad enough I left her with her grandmother this weekend."

"I've just got to get some sleep," the other Marshal said. He stretched, nearly knocking over a waitress as he did so. "Oops. Sorry, ma'am."

She just rolled her eyes.

They walked back to the hotel, some a little more unsteadily than others. Tony ended up making sure Melanie--the ATF agent who was, somehow, 35 and married--got to her room okay before finding his own.

As he stripped down to boxers and brushed his teeth and got ready for bed, he figured he'd sleep well. He was tired, he'd had a couple of beers, and the conference was fine, if a bit boring.

But he couldn't stop remembering Philadelphia, and he couldn't get _her_ out of his mind, so he ended up spending most of the night tossing and turning, wishing he was home.

Tony wondered if it made him stronger or weaker that he didn't pick up the phone to call Gibbs. He was pretty sure he didn't want to know the answer.

Eventually, he dropped into a restless slumber, waking groggily when the alarm went off at 0700.

He made it through the morning panels with the aid of four cups of coffee and Julie, who sat next to him for two of them and whispered sarcastic comments about the presenters.

But there was no way he was going to get through the two afternoon panels he was supposed to go to. One of them was about some forensic-y thing he didn't care about and no one would notice if he skipped, and the other…he didn't even remember or care.

So he slipped out of the hotel and put on his sunglasses and just started walking, not really caring where he was going. Just…away, out of the hotel.

That proved to be a bad idea, when he stopped and looked at the little sandwich shop in front of him. It had been one of his favorite haunts in Philly--the food was good, the prices were reasonable, and they were open 24/7. He and Barry had gone there after shift sometimes, and he'd met Kristen there more than a few times for a quick lunch date.

Yeah. So much for avoiding old memories.

The smart thing to do would be to walk away. Just go somewhere else, find somewhere that _wasn't_ familiar, someplace he didn't know. But Tony had never claimed to be all that intelligent and he figured that maybe the smart thing wasn't to back down this time. Maybe it was time to confront some of those old memories and make _them_ go away instead.

He pushed open the door and stepped inside.

Ten minutes later, he was seated at a wobbly wooden table by a smeared glass window, a can of Coke and an overstuffed ham and cheese sub in front of him. He had a copy of the paper, a pencil for the crossword puzzle, and was considering life pretty good. The guy behind the counter hadn't really recognized him, for which he was grateful.

Tony pushed his plate away and began working on the crossword, pausing occasionally to have a drink of Coke or take a bite of the half-finished sub. He was about halfway done when a shadow fell across the page.

"Well, well, well," a low voice drawled. "Talk about old memories."

He froze.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again, Tony," she said, taking the seat across from him.

"Likewise," he said, raising his head.

She didn't look all that different. A little paler--he supposed prison hadn't given her much opportunity to sunbathe. A little thinner. He saw the highlights in her hair, and the stylish cut--shorter than she'd had it before, more severe. But he'd have recognized her anywhere.

And her eyes were the same. Cool, green--and with about as much warmth as an ice cube. He hadn't realized it then. He saw it now.

"What brings you back to Philly? I heard you'd left," she said, leaning back in the wooden chair and crossing her legs. She was dressed as impeccably as usual; tailored gray slacks and a green blouse that matched her eyes. Tony wondered idly where she'd gotten the Jimmy Choo's.

"Business," he said easily. Just slip on the mask, that was all. Just slip it on and breathe. "What brings you here?"

She shrugged gracefully. "I was hungry. You don't generally get a good sub on the inside."

"Pity, that." Tony gave her a tight smile. "Then again, I'd have to say you didn't get one on the outside either."

Kristen laughed. "I can feel your sympathy from here." Abruptly, she uncrossed her legs and stood up. "I need a cigarette. Care to join me for a walk?"

What the hell. "You didn't used to smoke," he said, following her outside.

"I didn't used to be a convicted felon either," she said, lighting a cigarette and inhaling deeply. "I suppose I've got you to thank for both."

"No, I'd say you've got yourself to blame." Tony shoved his hands in his pockets. "In case you've forgotten, Kristen, you broke my collarbone, three ribs, gave me a concussion, and multiple bruises and contusions. I had marks on my wrists for two weeks because of you. And that was _after_ I'd safeworded."

She took a long drag on her cigarette. "I don't suppose apologizing would do any good," she said lightly.

"If I thought I could believe it, maybe." Tony shook his head. "But I know better."

"You've certainly grown a backbone." Kristen stubbed out her cigarette and lit another one. "What happened? Find a Mistress who lets you get away with it?"

"No." And he had to laugh, because it was just so ridiculous. "You have no idea, do you? You play at being a Domme, but you're just a sadist with pretensions. What, you think that I'm not allowed to have a mind of my own if I'm someone's sub? Get real."

"Don't you talk to me like that," she hissed.

"Why not? You don't own me, Kristen, and I don't owe you a fucking thing." Tony ran his hands through his hair. "For what it's worth? Yeah. I found someone else, and it's taken this long for me to understand what that kind of relationship _should_ be like, rather than what you taught me it was. Because that wasn't even _close_ to being a real D/s thing, Kristen. That was abusive from the beginning."

"Aw. Poor baby," Kristen said mockingly. "Like you couldn't have gotten out any time you wanted."

"Yeah. And that's my own damn fault. But you ending up in jail? That was all on you." Tony exhaled deeply. "All you had to do was respect my safeword, Kristen. All you had to do."

"You could have handled it!" she snapped.

"But I didn't want to. And I didn't feel comfortable. And it's _my_ right to say no when I feel that way."

He really hoped he wasn't shaking externally as much as he was internally. That…no. He could not afford for her to see that.

She whirled on him angrily. "You always were a pansy," she hissed.

"God. Listen to yourself. It's never your fault, is it? You beating me unconscious wasn't your fault, your ending up in jail wasn't your fault…none of it was, huh?" Tony snorted. "It didn't work on the jury--oh wait, that's right, you pled guilty, didn't you?" He smiled sweetly. "Didn't want your sex life paraded in front of a jury, did you? How many other men would have come forward, Kristen? How many other 'subs' did you hurt?"

Her hand rose. "I wouldn't," Tony said evenly. "This might be a little side street, but we're still in public, you're the one with the record, and I'm a federal agent with commendations in my file going back nearly ten years."

Tony was pretty sure her face wasn't supposed to match her lipstick like that.

"Bastard!" she spat at him, before turning on one of her stiletto heels and striding off down the street.

He waited until she was out of sight before collapsing against the nearest building, shaking so hard his teeth were chattering. His stomach heaved and he doubled over, retching. He couldn't stop until there was nothing left in his stomach, even bile, and he was dry-heaving, having fallen to his knees at some point.

Slowly, he managed to pull himself up and sit against the wall, hugging his knees. If anyone passed by, he didn't notice or care; he was too focused on trying to breathe. It took a good five minutes before he could slowly push himself to his feet and stumble back to the hotel.

His bed was made, the sheets cool, and the room dark once he'd drawn the shade. He drank a few glasses of water from the bathroom tap, brushed his teeth about three times, scrubbed his hands almost raw before he realized what he was doing and made himself stop.

Then he crawled into bed and pulled the covers over his head, hugging a pillow to him as tightly as he could.

The cheerful ring of his phone--Abby had set the ringtone--woke him some hours later. He fumbled for it, but it skittered out of his reach and fell on the floor, and by the time he found it the ringing had stopped.

It started again a moment later and he looked at it dumbly, seeing 'Gibbs' in the Caller ID display. Fuck. What the hell was he going to say?

Nothing, if he was smart.

Everything, if he was going to live.

With a groan, he fell onto his back and flipped the phone open. "Yeah," he said, rubbing his forehead.

"Tony? You okay?" Abby. Shit. And she sounded concerned, which was even worse.

"Yeah, Abs, I'm fine," he said. "I was just sleeping."

"Tony, it's not even ten! Are you--"

"Long day and all that. I'm cool." Tony pulled a pillow against him, hugging it with his free arm. "Boring panels have a snooze factor that's off the radar."

"Okay. But if I find out you're lying to me, I'll make Gibbs let me kick your ass."

"Duly noted. Is he around?"

"Yeah, he's working on the boat. Gimme a sec." She put the phone and he heard the thuds of her boots fade away.

He was going to have to tell Gibbs. He wasn't sure how, but he was going to have to tell him.

Just…not with Abby around.

A little while later, he heard footsteps again and then Gibbs picked up the phone. "What's up, Tony?" he asked.

"Um. Could you get Abby out of the room?" he asked. "Please?"

There was a very loud silence for a moment. "Abs, scoot," Gibbs said.

"I knew it!" she said. "You'll let me kick his ass, won't you?"

"Pretty girl, I need to talk to Tony. Go on."

Tony didn't relax until he heard her footsteps--and the door closing. Even then, he didn't really relax.

"What is it?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"Um." Tony sighed. "I. Um." He groaned. "I didn't sleep last night and I couldn't deal with the afternoon panels, so I went for a walk, right? Only I didn't really think about where I was going and I ended up at this little sandwich place I used to go to when I was living in Philly, and I got a sub and it was fine…and…"

"And?"

Tony was _sure_ Gibbs knew. Positive. But Gibbs wouldn't say it for him.

"And Kristen walked in," he said quietly.

There was no reaction on the other end of the phone, not that he'd really expected one. "What happened?" Gibbs asked after a moment.

"We talked. She…" Tony sighed. "We talked, and I told her a few things--like what she'd done wasn't D/s, it was abuse, and that I knew what it was supposed to be like now, and…you get the idea."

"How'd she take it?"

"Not well," Tony said wryly. "She got really mad at me, almost slapped me until I reminded her what a bad idea it would be. Then she called me a bastard and took off."

"And what'd you do?"

"I fell against the nearest building and threw up," Tony admitted. "And then I made my way back here and collapsed."

"Do you need me to come up?"

There was no judgment in the words, just a simple question. Tony knew that if he said yes, Gibbs would be there within hours. There'd be no repercussions because of it, no punishment.

And God, he wanted to say yes.

"No," he said, clearing his throat. "No, I'm okay."

"Do you want Abby?"

That was even worse. "No," he said again. "I--I'll be fine."

"All right." Gibbs didn't warn him, or threaten him, or anything, but Tony knew that if Gibbs found out he was lying, the consequences wouldn't be pretty.

Problem was, he didn't know whether or not he _was_ lying.

"Um..." Tony tried to find a way to phrase it that wouldn't make him sound like a total wimp. "Could you--"

"I'll deal with Abby," Gibbs said, finishing the thought he hadn't been able to articulate. "Don't worry about her."

"How do you _do_ that?" Tony asked impulsively.

"Do what?" Gibbs didn't _sound_ amused, but Tony had a feeling he had that faint smile on.

"Read my mind."

Gibbs laughed at that. "You don't honestly think I'd tell you, do you?"

Tony grinned and rolled onto his side. "It was worth a shot."

"Nice try," Gibbs said wryly. "But no."

"Oh well." Tony sighed. "I should go, try to get some sleep, I guess."

"Are you going to be able to sleep?" Gibbs asked matter-of-factly.

"I don't know." Tony closed his eyes. "But I'll try."

"Call me if you need anything," Gibbs said quietly. "Understand?"

"Yes, Master." Tony smiled a little. "I'll see you and Abby tomorrow."

"Call us when you're near home."

"I will."

Gibbs hung up the phone and Tony flipped his shut, tossing it onto the bed next to him before sighing and rolling onto his back again. He was pretty sure sleep wasn't going to happen. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her--both as she had been, and as he'd seen her today.

God, how had he been so _stupid_ back then? He'd investigated his share of domestic violence cases. He should have known from the beginning. But he'd been fascinated by her and what she offered, and he hadn't seen until it was too late.

_He didn't know how long he'd been out when he groggily opened his eyes. Oh God, that had been a mistake. Everything hurt--his head throbbed, his collarbone was sending red lightning bolts through him every time he moved, and he had a stabbing pain in his ribcage that probably meant he had a broken rib or two. And his hands were still cuffed behind his back._

_She was nowhere to be seen, and neither were the toys. Probably a good thing._

_Okay. Time to get himself out of the cuffs. They buckled, at least, and she hadn't locked them, which meant he could, theoretically, get out._

_Time to try._

_He had to stop every few seconds to breathe; his ribs and his collarbone were throbbing in agony and his head was making it near-impossible to think, let alone try to get the cuffs undone. It felt like eternity before he got one done and could bring his hands in front of him, unbuckling the other one and throwing them out of sight in the closet._

_Moving bad. Moving_ very _bad. Only the phone was next to the bed and he was on the floor. It probably wasn't more than five feet away, but it felt like miles by the time he got to the phone and pulled himself on the bed, panting. Fuck. Ow._

_He didn't want to call 911, but he didn't have a choice. He couldn't get to the hospital by himself and anyone he called would only end up calling the EMTs anyway. With a groan and an inward wince for what this would do to his reputation, he picked up the phone and dialed._

_He was barely conscious by the time they got there, and in moving him to the stretcher they accidentally jostled him and he blacked out._

Tony groaned, flinging an arm over his eyes. His other hand rubbed absently at his collarbone--a habit he'd managed to break except when he was alone.

_"Barry--"_

_"I've requested a new partner."_

_He stopped dead in his tracks. "Barry, what the--"_

_"You know why, DiNozzo."_

_"We're back to last names now? Christ,_ Wachowski _, what the fuck? You didn't come see me once, and now you're requesting a new partner? For fuck's sake, I've coached Mark's basketball team for months now!" Tony stared at his partner--_ ex-partner _\--in shock. "What the hell?"_

_"You know exactly why," Barry said in a low, tight voice. "Fuck, DiNozzo, you think anyone here doesn't know what happened? You want to play kinky sex games in your spare time, fine, so long as I don't have to know about it. But when a_ cop _lets himself get beat up like that? Fuck."_

_Tony bit back the retort and swallowed the shame and embarrassment. "Fine," he said curtly. "Tell Mark I'm sorry--I'm sure you'll find something to tell him that makes me look like a fool." He turned on his heel and headed for his desk, wondering just how quickly he could type up a letter of resignation._

So much for sleep. Tony gave up on even trying and just let himself remember.

_"Hey, Peter?"_

_"Yo! Tony, what's up?"_

_"I need a favor."_

_"Name it."_

_"I find myself suddenly jobless and soon-to-be homeless. Got crash space for a little bit?"_

_"Anytime, man. I'll tell Lauren to expect you."_

_"Thanks, man. I owe you."_

_"Whatever. Hey, Tony?"_

_"Yeah?"_

_"This wouldn't have anything to do with that newspaper article I caught online the other day, would it? Something about a woman and--"_

_"Yeah. Yeah, it would."_

_"You want to talk about it?"_

_"When I get down there, okay? Not over the phone. Once I'm off the pain pills and can get drunk."_

_"I'll hold you to that."_

Peter had been a godsend, Tony thought gratefully. No questions, either from him or Lauren--and how the hell Peter had gotten so lucky, Tony had no idea. He hadn't asked, hadn't said a word, he'd just given Tony the spare room.

_"So you're off the pain pills, you're on your third beer, and you know I know a bit. What happened?"_

_Tony groaned and dropped his head back. "I safeworded."_

_"And she didn't respect it?" Peter asked incredulously._

_"Peter, she not only didn't respect it, she beat me unconscious. Three broken ribs, a broken collarbone, a concussion...I_ think _she stopped when I blacked out. I have no idea." Tony sighed. "They arrested her on assault charges and she pled guilty. Seven to ten, she'll probably be out in five."_

_"And yet you're down here."_

_"My partner requested a new partner. No one in the precinct wanted to look me in the eye. They were embarrassed, Pete. Embarrassed that one of their own got beaten up by a woman while playing kinky sex games, as my ex-partner put it. If I'd gotten beaten up, they'd have supported me. The woman thing would be iffy, but it was the last part that did it." Tony took a swig of beer. "I learned my lesson."_

_"It's not like that, Tony," Peter protested. "I can show you around, introduce you to a couple of people who'd be happy to explain--"_

_"No." Tony realized how sharp that sounded and grimaced. "Sorry, man. But...no. I've learned my lesson. I'm done."_

And he had been done, to the extent that when one of his girlfriends had wanted to play with scarves and blindfolds in bed, he'd made some sort of excuse and had broken up with her two days later. Done. Finito. He didn't care if it made him boring, he was pure vanilla.

Until Abby. And Gibbs.

_He saw them leaving together; they didn't notice and it was only sheer chance he caught them. But he did, and it was weird enough that he watched. Not only were they leaving together, but Gibbs had his hand in the small of Abby's back. Something was off, there, and he wasn't sure what it was._

_Tony didn't say anything to either of them, but he watched. And he noticed a few things--the way Abby's voice went just a_ hint _softer when she talked to Gibbs, the way his voice went a_ hint _deeper. The way she always seemed a little different, a little..._

_God. She reminded him a little bit of the way he'd acted with Kristen. Just a little--after all, they were at work--but enough that he knew what he was seeing. Enough that when he looked at Gibbs, he saw that same reaction._

_Abby. And Gibbs. And..._

_He went home the night he figured it out and got quietly drunk, not wanting to think about his friend sleeping with his boss--and desperate to blot out the images his brain conjured up, pictures of Abby tied and marked from Gibbs' hands, his toys, whatever._

_Pictures of her crying, bruised and beaten._

_God. Abby. The girl he'd half-adored since he'd come to work for NCIS, who almost always cheered up his day._

_And Gibbs. Tony refused to think about the number of jerk-off fantasies he had that involved Gibbs somehow._

_God. Maybe if he just...maybe if he said something to Abby in passing?_

_Yeah. That'd work._

Only it hadn't, because not only had Abby confirmed what he hadn't really wanted to know, she'd gone ahead and taken the final step. Three times, she'd said. Three times, and…

And she was his.

Tony hadn't known what to do. Abby was a big girl. She could make her own decisions--and it was Gibbs, after all. If he was going to pick one person to be a careful Dom, it would be Gibbs. And to be honest, he wasn't all that surprised Gibbs was into it. He'd gotten a hint of that vibe from Gibbs since the beginning.

But…Abby.

So he'd gone and talked to Gibbs.

_"I told her to be careful." Tony shook his head a little. "I don't want her to get hurt."_

_"You think--"_

_"No. I didn't say that. But you work together, and it...it could get sticky, if things don't--" Tony sighed. "Look, Boss. If this is what she wants--if this is what you want--then I'm not going to stand in your way. I don't want to come between you." Well--but no. Not going there._

_"So why are you talking to me?" Gibbs asked quietly._

_"Because I care about Abby." Tony looked down at the floor before meeting Gibbs' eyes. God, this was difficult. But he had to say it. "I trust you with my life when we're in the field. I always have. But my trusting you with my life isn't the same as trusting you as a Dom. I'm sure you're careful, and I'm sure Abby's smart enough to get herself out of a bad situation. I just don't want her to hold out because it's you."_

It hadn't gone well, to say the least. Both Gibbs and Abby had tried to talk to him. He'd thrown Kristen in Abby's face--a mistake, probably, but one he hadn't been able to stop himself from making. And then he'd told Gibbs, which had been bad enough in and of itself. But telling Gibbs--and then all-but-admitting he wanted them both--God. Tony still wasn't sure how he'd made it through work the next day. He was pretty sure he wouldn't have if it hadn't been for the case.

But he hadn't been able to go home that night. And almost unwillingly, he'd found himself driving to Gibbs' place. He'd parked around the corner and for a long time, he'd just sat in the car, working up the courage to either go there or go home.

He hadn't managed either. He'd ended up walking around Gibbs' neighborhood for over two hours, getting drenched and not even noticing. Home…or Gibbs'.

When his feet carried him to Gibbs' front door, he was too worn out emotionally to even be afraid.

He'd never expected what had happened next.

_"Tony, don't--let me show you what it's really like, what it's supposed to be."_

_No. God, no. She didn't mean--"Right, and he's going to let you?" he asked, hearing the panic in his voice. "Or--no, Abby. No. Don't do this to me."_

_Gibbs rested a hand on Tony's shoulder. "If you want to stay," he said quietly, "it's up to you."_

_"Gibbs--" His voice shook. No. No. God, they didn't mean what he thought they meant. They couldn't. He couldn't take it._

_"Please," Abby murmured. "Tony, please stay. We won't hurt you."_

_"There's more kinds of pain than physical," Tony managed. "And I want this too much to--" He shut up, shaking his head. He'd already said too much. It was enough that they knew about Kristen--knowing about him wanting them--God, no._

Gibbs had left it up to him. And…he'd chosen to stay.

He'd been doing all right, too. He'd been scared, but between the two of them he was slowly starting to relax. Even the blindfold hadn't bothered him.

And then he'd almost screwed it all up.

_When Gibbs wrapped the cuffs around Tony's wrists, threading the chain through the headboard, Tony panicked. "No--please, don't, don't--"_

_He couldn't even think of safewording; he just had to get out. _Now_. Abby scrambled off him instantly and Gibbs got the cuffs off him, helping him sit up and take off the blindfold. "Easy," he murmured, stroking Tony's back. "Easy, it's okay, it's just us. No one's going to hurt you."_

_He was trembling in Gibbs' arms. "I can't--please, I'll stay still, just don't--" Too many memories, too many reminders. He'd had marks on his wrists for a long time after that last night and he'd nearly dislocated his shoulder struggling to get out of them._

_"Shh," Gibbs murmured, kissing his temple. "It's okay. It's okay, Tony. I should have realized myself."_

_How should Gibbs have known? It was Tony's fault. He'd screwed up. Tony shook his head, pressing against him. "I can't--not now. I can't stand being tied like that."_

He'd been convinced they were going to make him go, that he'd screwed it up beyond repair. But they hadn't.

They'd both taken him, in their own ways. Abby had ridden him, gasping and panting until she'd come, clenching around him.

And then...Gibbs.

He'd told Gibbs it had been a few years. Truth was, it hadn't been since Kristen. She'd had a strap-on harness she'd liked to use with him, and he'd discovered that he liked getting fucked, so he hadn't protested.

But he'd never felt comfortable enough to let anyone be that intimate with him again.

Until Gibbs. Until that night. Tony had known, when he'd agreed, that this wasn't going to be like Abby. She'd had three chances.

He wasn't going to get another.

_"And if I let you have her--will you let me have you, Tony? Will you get on your hands and knees for me, let me take you?"_

_He knew what Gibbs was asking. All three of them did. And truth was…it wasn't even a question. Gibbs had had him from day one. It wasn't so much of a stretch to make now._

_Tony closed his eyes, shuddering. "Anything," he breathed. "Anything you want, sir."_

It wasn't until after everything was over that he'd truly fallen apart. He had too many memories of Kristen making him leave, of needing to get it together and get out the door. He'd thought Gibbs--but as with everything else, what he'd thought was the complete opposite of what had happened.

They'd gotten him under the covers, both of them pressed against him, both holding him and murmuring reassurances to him. He'd cried, just a little, painful tears hot against his skin, and he'd fallen asleep with Gibbs' arms around him and Abby tucked tight against his back.

And now…

Tony sighed and rolled onto his stomach. God. Sleep.

He couldn't sleep. He wasn't going to be able to sleep, not without either Gibbs or Abby--or both--or a lot of alcohol. Since he didn't have any of the above, it wasn't going to happen.

But the hotel had a 24-hour fitness room. He changed into shorts and a T-shirt and headed down, figuring he'd get in a good run and workout with the weights. That _might_ tire him out enough to sleep.

To his surprise--and disappointment--the place wasn't empty. Julie, the DEA agent, was running on one of the treadmills. She had headphones on and an iPod strapped to her arm and didn't even seem to notice him.

Just as well; he didn't think he would be much of a conversationalist or even a particularly pleasant person at the moment. He stretched out and set his own treadmill for six miles, focusing on nothing but putting one foot In front of another. Running was like meditation for him; he'd used it innumerable times to clear his mind and think about absolutely nothing.

And like all those other times, it worked. He stepped off the treadmill feeling warm, loose, a little sweaty, and a hell of a lot calmer than he'd been earlier.

"Hey," Julie said, startling him a little. "Didn't see you at that forensics thing earlier."

Tony walked over to the bench, beginning to stretch out. "Yeah, I kind of cut. Gonna tell on me?"

She laughed. "Wish I could have. What'd you get up to?"

"Not a whole lot. Just wandered--it's kind of stupid to be here for a weekend and not see the city, you know?"

Julie grimaced and stretched. "Yeah, I know."

Tony linked his hands together and stretched his arms over his head, groaning a little at how good it felt. "How was the panel, anyway?"

"Boring as hell and completely incomprehensible if you're not into forensics. Which, by the way, I am not. Give me a bad guy to track down and I'm fine. Give me any kind of science stuff and I'll stare at you blankly. I have no idea why I had to go to this forensics thing." Julie wrinkled her nose. "And it didn't help that the speaker was into bugs. I mean...maggots? Ew. He kept talking about how you can determine how long someone has been dead by bugs and all sorts of other things and I'm like 'that's nice, and I'm sure it's important, but...ew."

"Abby--our forensics expert--has given up on me and our boss, but there's another agent she bonds with over computer geekery. I say more power to them." Tony grinned and sat down next to Julie. "What's on the agenda for tomorrow?"

"Nothing, really. One big panel with everyone, and...then we're gone." Julie shrugged. "And I get to jump on the plane back to New Mexico, and you get to go wherever you're going, and that's about that." She tilted her head, giving him a thoughtful look.

"Something on your mind?" he asked lightly. "I think the bar's closed by now, so we can't go have a drink."

"Nope. I was thinking more along the lines of skipping the drink and seeing if you wanted to go to bed with me."

Whoa. Tony blinked, not quite sure where that had come from. "Um--" How best to put this--'Sorry, Julie, but I'm currently involved in a threesome with my boss and that forensics expert I mentioned, there's a pretty high D/s factor in it, and if I so much as _look_ at another person he'll have my balls on toast'? While funny, he didn't really think it'd be a good idea. "I'm involved," he said instead. "Sorry."

She sighed. "All the good ones. Damn. Tell whoever it is that she's a lucky girl."

"I will." Tony grinned. Truth was, he was the lucky one, but Abby would appreciate the sentiment.

He went back to his hotel room, washed up, and fell into bed. Maybe now he'd be able to sleep.

Sleep came, finally. Unfortunately, so did the dreams. Tony woke gasping, panting, the sheets tangled around him. Reflexively, he rubbed his wrists, making sure they were free, that there were no marks he'd have to hide. It took him a while to calm down and make his heart stop pounding, and breathing normally was an incredible effort.

So much for that.

The phone was on the nightstand, a little silver and black thing that sat there innocuously.

_"Call me if you need anything. Understand?"_

Yeah, he did. He also knew that he was going to get in massive amounts of trouble for _not_ calling--but he couldn't do it.

"Fuck this," he muttered, getting out of bed. It was three in the morning, which meant that he'd be charged for the night, but just then he didn't care. He packed in a hurry, threw some clothes on, and tossed his hotel key on the bed before he left.

The night clerk blinked at him a little sleepily. "Sir, the conference--"

"Family emergency," he said with a wince and an apologetic look. "I have to leave."

"Understandable," the clerk apologized. "If you'll just sign here?"

Tony scribbled his name and left, finding his car and tossing his bag into the trunk. Question was, where to go next? He couldn't go home, much as he wanted to--it was bad enough _he_ knew he'd fallen apart like this. He didn't think he could handle Abby's sympathy or even Gibbs' silent understanding.

"I really, really hope Lauren doesn't kill me over this," he muttered, digging out his phone. Speed dial #6, after Gibbs, Abby, work, pizza, and Chinese. He hit the button and waited.

One ring. Two. Thr--"H'lo?" a very sleepy female voice answered.

Shit. Lauren. "Hey, Lauren, it's Tony," he said quietly. "I really, really hate to wake you, but--"

"No," she said around a yawn. "You okay?"

"Not really." He started the car and headed for the highway. "Is Peter there?"

"Mm-hmm. One sec." Tony heard an annoyed grumble in the background, followed by Lauren murmuring something, and then the phone changed hands.

"Tony? You okay?"

He let out a deep breath. "No," he admitted. "No, and..."

"Where are you?"

Tony smiled a little. He could almost _see_ Peter, probably pushing himself up to sit against the headboard of the big cherry sleigh bed, shoving a pillow behind his back. And Lauren, lying back down and pulling the covers over her head. "I'm on my way out of Philly," he said.

"What the--" Peter lowered his voice. "Tony, what the fuck were you doing in Philly?"

"Some conference thing. Don't ask. I'm probably about two hours away--can you meet me?"

"Meet me at that diner you like, the one by the old high school. Two hours, give or take. Okay?"

"Yeah." Tony's throat tightened a little. "Yeah."

"I'll see you then--and, Tony?"

"Yeah?"

Peter grinned; Tony _felt_ it through the phone. "You're buying."

Tony didn't get a chance to respond; Peter had already hung up. He smiled a little, not sure whether to laugh or cry, and flipped his phone closed.

One of the best, he'd told Gibbs. One of the best.

He'd have to buy Lauren something to make up for this--flowers, or candy, or another teapot to add to her collection. He'd ask Peter.

Thank God there was no traffic, because he wasn't really paying attention to the road. He drove on autopilot, keenly aware of the phone next to him and knowing that when Gibbs found out about this, he was dead meat. Hopefully, Gibbs would understand a little and cut him _some_ slack. He didn't want to think about Abby.

When he pulled into the parking lot of the diner, there were a few other cars there. Not many, but a few. He shoved his hands into his pockets and went inside, getting a booth near the back. Peter wasn't there yet and he ordered coffee, wrapping his hands around the faded white mug.

A couple minutes later, Peter came in, looking like he'd just rolled out of bed. Half his hair was sticking up, he wore jeans and an old sweatshirt and sneakers, and he was still yawning as he slid into the booth across from Tony.

The waitress came by, holding a coffeepot. "Coffee, hon?" she asked.

Peter shook his head. "Hot chocolate," he said sleepily.

She grinned. "Getting in touch with your inner kid, huh? You two need another moment to look over the menu?"

Tony glanced at Peter and they both shook their heads. "Cheeseburger and fries," Peter said around a yawn, handing over the menu. "No pickle."

"You got it. And you?"

"Short stack of pancakes and a side of bacon," Tony told her.

"Be right back with your chocolate." She took their menus and strolled off.

"Hot chocolate?" Tony asked wryly. "Since when did you drink that?"

"Since I don't drink coffee and I'd rather not have a Lipton teabag floating in a mug of warm water--and that's assuming they have decaf." Peter wrinkled his nose. "Not worth it."

"Good point." Tony had almost forgotten Peter's aversion to caffeine.

"So." Peter leaned back against the booth. "What the fuck were you doing in Philadelphia?"

"Law enforcement conference thing I couldn't get out of." Tony sipped his coffee and grimaced; even by Gibbs' standards, this was bad. He set the mug down and picked up some sugar packets, dumping the contents into his mug.

"Just too many memories?"

"Something like." Tony sighed. "I saw her. I was at this little sub shop I used to go to, and...she walked in."

"Oh, hell." Peter spared a moment to smile at the waitress who set his hot chocolate down. "What happened?"

Tony rubbed his forehead. "We talked. I know, I know, bad idea, but..." He sighed. "She almost slapped me, I pointed out the stupidity of the idea, and she stormed off. And then I threw up."

"Couldn't stay in Philly after that, huh?" Peter grimaced. "Can't say I blame you."

"I tried. But..." Tony shook his head. "Gibbs is going to kill me."

"For leaving? Or not telling him?"

"Which do you think?" Tony raised an eyebrow.

Peter sipped his hot chocolate, licking the whipped cream away from his upper lip. "I think sleeping with your boss isn't a great idea, and adding a third person into that is an incredibly difficult dynamic to pull off normally. I also think that when you toss in the D/s dynamic, you've got something that's damn near impossible to make work. I _also_ think you've been happier since this started than you have been in years, and I think you've found a damned good thing." He took another sip of chocolate. "Which is why I'm telling you not to fuck it up."

"I know." Tony buried his face in his hands. "I know," he said again, voice muffled. "I just can't face him right now."

"Why?" Peter asked.

"Because…" Tony sighed. "Because I don't know what he'll do. He could punish me for this, for not telling him and running away, and God knows I deserve it. But I don't know if he will or not, and I'm afraid he won't. I'm afraid he'll just note it, and remember it, and not say anything."

"So it'd be easier for you to handle if--what, if he punished you? Tony, that's insane."

"Yeah, it is. And I _know_ it is. But I can't...he's hard on me as my boss, you know? He expects perfection, and he's the first one to criticize when he doesn't get it. All of us, not just me. And that's the way it should be. But at home..." Tony exhaled deeply. "At home, it's different."

"What does he expect from you at home?" Peter asked.

"Honesty," Tony said quietly. "Complete and total honesty. He'll let both me and Abby get away with stuff--although if we're pushing it or crossing a line he'll let us know--but he demands honesty. And…and I don't know if I have been. I don't know if I've been honest with him since before I left. And I _know_ he knows it. But he won't say a damn thing, and…I don't know what to do."

Peter spooned some of the whipped cream up, licking the spoon clean before he answered. "You Catholic boys never change, do you?" he asked idly. "It's all about guilt and penance. Nothing ever comes free."

"This is what I get for talking to a comparative religions professor," Tony grumbled.

"Seriously, Tony. Listen to yourself. Your father--he didn't give a flying fuck what you did. He didn't even _notice_ half the time. But Gibbs does."

"So why is he doing this?" Tony demanded. "Why is he--"

"Because you're being harder on yourself than he ever could or would want to be," Peter interrupted. "Because sometimes punishment isn't about what others do to us, it's about what we do to ourselves. I will lay you odds that if he knows you as well as you think he does, he's waiting for you to finish ripping yourself apart and go back to him."

"God, I hate it when you're smart," Tony said wryly.

Peter grinned. "Hey, that was the split. I was the brain, you were the jock."

"Which is why you went to Princeton and I went to Ohio State," Tony said, managing a real smile for the first time that night.

The waitress came back with their food then. "Careful of those plates, boys, they're hot. Enjoy." She left, and Tony picked up a piece of bacon and took a bite.

"No, you went to Ohio State because they offered you an almost-full scholarship and you could get away from your father without needing his money," Peter reminded him. "I went to Princeton because my grandmother insisted."

"And because you were smart."

"Well, yeah, that too." Peter rolled his eyes and poured some ketchup on his plate.

"So you think I should go home," Tony said after a few moments of eating in silence.

"Are you done beating yourself up over her?"

Tony groaned. "I don't know. God...I should never have gotten involved with her. You'd think I'd have known the signs."

"You were like a lot of people, Tony. You didn't think it could happen to you." Peter shrugged. "Can't fix it now, so you might as well stop blaming yourself for it."

"Have I mentioned it that I hate it when you're smart?" Tony glared at him over a bite of pancake.

"Seriously, Tony." Peter leaned forward. "Let her stay in the past. You have--from what you've told me--a great thing going back home. Don't let her fuck it up."

"It was because of her that it all started," Tony said, his mouth twisting in what could have been a smile. "Did I ever tell you that?"

Peter blinked. "No, you didn't. What happened?"

Tony sighed. "I knew about Abby and Gibbs--well, I had a guess. And Abby confirmed it. And...I just--it was Abby. So I talked to Gibbs. And he talked to Abby. And Abby got pissed at me, and I ended up telling her about Kristen, and then I had to explain it to Gibbs. And then I went over to Gibbs' to apologize to them both and before I knew it..." He shrugged.

"So it was indirectly because of her that it started. Don't let it be directly her fault that it gets screwed up." Peter ate a french fry.

"I so hate you."

"Right." Peter grinned. "You hate me so much you called me at three in the morning and woke up my wife because you needed someone to talk to. By the way, you owe her a teapot. She's into silver lately."

"Duly noted." Tony sighed and slumped down in his seat. "How's Katie? And Daniel?"

To his relief, Peter accepted the tacit change of subject. "Katie's fine. Prettiest girl in her class--"

"Which she gets from Lauren, of course," Tony interrupted.

"As well as the tallest. Yes, I know, my children got my brains and Lauren's looks."

"No, I'd say they got Lauren's brains as well," Tony teased him.

Peter rolled his eyes. "And Daniel's starting first grade this fall."

Tony smiled and sipped some more coffee. "I guess I should go home," he said reluctantly.

"I guess you should." Peter leaned forward. "Tony, if they both care about you half as much as you want them to, it'll be okay. You might even get the penance you're looking for." He smiled. "But there's only one way to find out."

"I hate you." Tony sighed and took out his wallet, tossing a twenty onto the table.

"I know."

They walked outside, into the cool dark air. Peter had parked a couple spaces down from Tony and they walked to their cars in silence. "You gonna be all right?" Peter asked, digging out his keys.

Tony smiled a little. "I don't know."

Peter reached out and gripped his shoulder. "You can always stay with us," he said quietly. "But I don't think you'll need to."

"I sure as hell hope not." Tony pulled Peter into a hard, tight hug. "Thanks, man," he said, stepping back.

"Anytime."

Tony slid into the driver's seat and turned the key. If he was lucky, he'd be home by dawn.

****  
For once, traffic cooperated, and it was just before six when he parked in front of Gibbs' house. The sun was starting to rise, giving everything that watery gray feel that made it all seem surreal. Which was good, because Tony wasn't sure reality was going to be a good thing.

He let himself in quietly and set his bag down, taking off his shoes and making his way upstairs as quietly as he could. He barely remembered to skip the squeaky seventh step before getting to the top and ducking into the bathroom to strip down to his boxers.

The bedroom door was open a crack; when he pushed it open he saw Abby sprawled out on her stomach, one arm hanging off the side of the bed, the covers tangled around her thighs. She wasn't wearing anything and he saw the fading marks on her ass.

Gibbs was sleeping on his side, facing Abby, one arm reaching out for her, his fingers brushing her shoulder. The sheet came up to his waist, and as far as Tony could tell he wasn't wearing anything either.

There wasn't room for him on either side, but if he was careful he could crawl into the middle.

"Get in here," Gibbs mumbled as he was trying to figure out how to do it without waking either of them. "She won't wake up."

He should have known better than to think he'd be able to not wake Gibbs. Tony smiled wryly and crawled into bed carefully, sliding down under the sheets and closing his eyes.

Gibbs drew him close, tucking Tony's head under his chin. "Sleep," he murmured.

Abby made a soft sound and rolled over, draping an arm over Tony's back. She cuddled up against him, sighing in her sleep.

Tony yawned and settled down. This wasn't done yet and he knew it. But he'd been welcomed home, and back into bed, and sleep was rushing over him like a tidal wave.

The rest could wait.


	9. Sensory Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We’ve got plans for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed porn. Therefore, so do you.

Title: Sensory Therapy  
Author: rebecca  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby/Tony  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: We’ve got plans for you.  
Series: Applied Psychology  
Notes: I needed porn. Therefore, so do you.

 

He came home late, tired, and wanting nothing more than a shower and his bed. He hung up his jacket wearily, kicked off his shoes, took one glance at the dark kitchen before shaking his head and trudging up the stairs to his bedroom. The house itself was dark, and he hadn't seen Abby or Tony's cars outside, which meant he probably had the night to himself.

Gibbs told himself he had no right to feel disappointed by that. Abby and Tony had lives of their own. They didn't live with him--well, theoretically they didn't. Realistically, Gibbs couldn't remember the last time either of them had spent a night at their own apartments, and his closet had more of Abby's skirts and Tony's shirts than his own clothes.

But still. If they chose to spend the night without him, that was their business. Maybe it was for the best, anyway.

The door to the bedroom was closed. That was odd. Gibbs frowned at it for a moment before opening it slowly.

Inside...he blinked. Inside were Tony and Abby. They were both sitting on the bed, both nude, and scattered all around the room were little candles. Gibbs smelled peppermint and green tea and had to smile wryly. Figured.

They looked at him, smiled, and slid off the bed, walking toward him slowly. Tony pulled him into a slow, deep kiss, hands cupping Gibbs' face. He pulled back slowly, licking Gibbs' lower lip as he did. "Abs," Tony said huskily. "Your turn."

She wrapped her arms around Gibbs' neck and kissed him, deep and hungry. Gibbs slid his hands down her back to her ass, pulling her tight against him, and she purred into the kiss. "Not yet," she murmured when they separated. "We've got plans for you."

Gibbs groaned. "Pretty girl, I don't think I'm up for whatever you have in mind."

Abby laughed, low and throaty, and kissed his jaw. "You'll like this. We promise."

Tony kissed his neck, right where it met his shoulder. "Trust us," he murmured, beginning to work Gibbs' shirt off. "Please."

They didn't play fair. Then again, Gibbs thought with an inward chuckle, they'd learned that from him.

He let them undress him, their hands caressing his skin, fingers trailing over his arms and his legs, down his chest and his stomach. Abby knelt to take off his socks and brushed kisses over his calves; Tony licked a line down his spine before sliding off Gibbs' pants. And yet--for all that, they weren't deliberately trying to arouse him, Gibbs noticed. They weren't necessarily trying _not_ to, but they weren't trying to seduce him.

Gibbs wondered why.

When his clothes were gone, Abby rose to her feet and Tony stepped back. "Come into my parlor," Abby said teasingly, holding out her hand.

"Abs..." Gibbs looked at her warily.

"Do you trust us?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

He sighed to himself and took her hand.

Abby led him to the bathroom. In here, there were fewer candles, and the scent was something softer he couldn't identify. She turned on the water and gestured for him to step in, following him into the shower and sliding the door closed. "Just relax," she said softly. "You don't have to do anything."

The water was as hot as he liked it--almost hot enough to scald. He reached for the shampoo bottle, but Abby shook her head and took it. "Don't do anything," she said, licking water off his shoulder. "Let me."

He closed his eyes and let her bathe him, groaning a little at the feel of her nails over his scalp, the stiff-bristled bath brush she used to scrub his skin. She even washed his face, her fingers gentle as she used whatever the heck it was. When she was--finally--done, she let him stand under the water for a minute or two before shutting it off and stepping out to get towels.

Gibbs let her dry him off; he had a pretty good idea that she wouldn't have let him do it anyway. "You're beginning to get the idea," she said lightly, hanging up the towels. "Come on. Time for stage two."

"Stage two?" Gibbs asked, following her back to the bedroom.

"Mm-hmm." That was all she said.

Tony knelt on the bed, which was partially covered by a giant bath sheet. Another towel was spread across the pillows. "Lie down," he said, nodding at the towels.

Gibbs bit back a smile and lay down as directed, settling himself against the bed. He knew where _this_ , at least, was going.

And not for the first time, or even for the hundredth, he thought that he didn't deserve them. Either of them.

Tony straddled him and leaned down to kiss the back of his neck, rubbing his cheek against Gibbs' skin. He knelt up; Gibbs heard the sound of a bottle opening but couldn't identify the scent. He didn't bother trying.

Breath _whooshed_ out of him involuntarily at the first firm touch of Tony's hands, thumbs digging into his shoulders. "Tell me if it's too much," Tony said quietly, beginning to work out the tension. "The idea isn't to hurt you."

Gibbs grunted in assent, which was about all he could do. He seemed to have lost most higher cognitive abilities between the shower and the massage.

Tony seemed intent on working out every knot and tight spot in his back. His hands had to be bothering him, Gibbs thought vaguely, but he didn't stop and Gibbs couldn't summon up the energy or the ability to tell him to do so.

Besides, it felt too damn good.

"There," Tony said at last, wiping off the excess oil. "Think he's up for stage three, Abs?" He moved off Gibbs, kneeling next to him.

She laughed and ran her fingers down Gibbs' back, fingers playing a light tattoo over his spine. "I don't know, Tony. Maybe we should just let him sleep."

It was a bit of an effort, but Gibbs managed to roll onto his back and grab her wrist. "As opposed to what, pretty girl?" he asked, squeezing just enough to make her gasp and shudder.

Abby swallowed, licking her lips. "We--we had a third stage planned," she said shakily.

"Did you, now?" He pressed his thumb into her pulse, just to watch her shiver.

"Y-yeah." She looked at Tony, a bit helplessly.

Tony crawled over Gibbs, leaning to kiss him gently. "It involved us, and you, and a few combinations of things."

"Such as?" Gibbs asked, tugging Tony down on top of him.

"Such as your dick and my ass...and Abby's pussy and your mouth." Tony stretched out on top of Gibbs, licking his jaw. "Of course, that can be subject to change depending on what you want."

Gibbs ran the fingers of his free hand through Tony's hair, resting his hand on the back of Tony's neck. "I like that combination," he murmured. He tugged Abby down next to him and turned to kiss her. "You stay here for now, pretty girl," he said, stroking her face. "I want to watch Tony suck my cock first. And then I want to watch him stretch himself open for me."

Both Abby and Tony groaned; Gibbs smiled to himself. They might have planned this out, but that didn't mean they were in charge.

Tony slid down GIbbs' body, rubbing his cheek against GIbbs' stomach. He licked Gibbs' cock, mouthing the head, slowly taking more into his mouth. Gibbs watched Tony's lips slide down over his cock and bit back a groan. He had no idea who'd taught Tony to give head but one of these days he was going to have to find the man and thank him. Christ.

He kept one hand around Abby's wrist and one hand on the back of Tony's neck, guiding him but not pushing him, more for contact than control. Abby shivered and pressed against him; Gibbs felt her heat against his leg. "That's so fucking hot," she whispered.

Yeah. Gibbs watched Tony suck his cock and had to agree, even as he bit the inside of his cheek to keep from thrusting up and just fucking Tony's mouth until he came. "Enough," he said hoarsely, tugging on Tony's hair.

Tony raised his head, licking his lips. "Master?" he asked, voice raspy.

"I want to watch you stretch yourself open for me," Gibbs told him. "And then I want to watch you ride me."

Tony shuddered and nodded, kneeling up. He picked up the oil and poured a little on his fingers before handing the bottle to Abby and reaching around behind himself. His mouth parted and his eyes closed and Gibbs caught his free hand, linking their fingers to give Tony something to balance against. "Oh--" Tony gasped, working one finger inside. "Oh, God, Master--"

"Take your time," Gibbs said huskily. "I want to watch you."

The sound Tony made in response was desperate and needy and it sent a shiver through Gibbs. God, he loved seeing Tony like this. Naked, hard, eager to please--and now, kneeling over Gibbs, one hand gripping Gibbs' tight, the other stretching himself open--Gibbs took a deep breath. _He_ needed control, or this would be over before it began.

"Master...please..." Tony's voice was ragged. "Please, let me..."

Gibbs nodded. "Fuck yourself on my cock, Tony. Ride me."

Abby handed Tony the oil again; he took it and used it to slick Gibbs' cock, the excess dampening the towel. Abby took it back and Tony gripped Gibbs' hand again, the other steadying Gibbs' cock as he slowly sank down on it.

"Oh, Christ," Tony gasped. He arched back, trembling. "Oh, God, Master--"

"Ride me," Gibbs ground out, fighting to breathe. "Come on, Tony. Ride me."

Tony whined and began to move. His skin was flushed and damp with sweat, his head had fallen back, he was hot and tight around Gibbs' cock and Gibbs couldn't think of anything more erotic than the way Tony looked right now.

But he wasn't done yet. "Pretty girl," he said, tugging her wrist. "Kneel over me."

Abby moved eagerly, kneeling over his face, letting Gibbs guide her with his other hand until she was right where he wanted her. He breathed against her cunt and felt her moan, licked her clit and heard her gasp. "Both of you, come when you can," he said before pulling Abby down and beginning to work her in earnest.

Tony's hand slipped from Gibbs' grasp; Gibbs figured he was holding on to Abby but couldn't look. He closed his eyes, inhaling her scent, tasting her, sucking her clit. He felt her tremble above him, heard Tony's echoing moan. Tony was moving on him hard and fast, Abby's thighs were taut under his hands, and it was a toss-up as to which of them would come first.

Abby cried out, a long wailing sound, and came, spasming. Gibbs smiled to himself and scraped his teeth over her clit--and sure enough, she keened and came again. He let her go, letting her crawl off his face, next to him.

When he looked up, Tony and Abby were kissing frantically, his hands on her shoulders to balance himself. She had one hand around his cock, jerking him off in rhythm with his movement on Gibbs' cock. "Come on, baby, come on, come for him, let him see..." Abby pulled away from Tony's mouth, murmuring against his throat. "Come on, baby..."

Tony moaned, long and low, and came all over his stomach and Abby's hand. The sight was all Gibbs needed; he reached for Tony's hips, grabbing them and pulling him down hard. Tony groaned and Gibbs thrust up into him and came, shuddering.

For a little while, no one moved. But eventually, Abby went to get washcloths and Tony moved off Gibbs and lay down next to him, cuddling close. Abby came back and Gibbs took a cloth and cleaned himself and Tony off gently.

"Stage four," Abby said around a yawn. "Bed." She tugged back the covers and all three of them crawled underneath, Tony on one side of Gibbs and Abby on the other. Tony and Abby linked hands over Gibbs' side and Abby sighed with contentment. "Sleep now," she said, kissing Gibbs' back.

Tony kissed Gibbs' collarbone. "Mm-hmm."

Gibbs closed his eyes, smiling wryly. Even when they were trying to relax him, they wore him out.

On the other hand, he felt better than he had in weeks.

He lifted their joined hands to his lips and kissed them gently. "Mine," he murmured, setting their hands back down. "My boy. My girl."

"Mm-hmm." Abby kissed his shoulder.

"Yours," Tony said softly, kissing him gently.

They were still going to kill him. But at the moment, he didn't care so much. Gibbs settled against the pillows and let himself fall asleep, surrounded by warmth and the feel of bodies on either side of him and the scent of peppermint and green tea.


	10. ficlet: the fourth wall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of this was written about a month ago, while i was talking to skripka. for some reason, i didn't like it and tossed it away. i'd forgotten i wrote it until tonight, when i found it while looking for other things in the chat logs. i figured it was actually not all that bad, so i wrote more, added an ending, and here you have it. if you spot the break, more power to you. if you agree with my initial assessment, well, i do have bad days.

_note: most of this was written about a month ago, while i was talking to skripka. for some reason, i didn't like it and tossed it away. i'd forgotten i wrote it until tonight, when i found it while looking for other things in the chat logs. i figured it was actually not all that bad, so i wrote more, added an ending, and here you have it. if you spot the break, more power to you. if you agree with my initial assessment, well, i do have bad days._

She rises above him, back arched, hair tumbling around her shoulders, dark blending into the shadows of the room, highlighting the paleness of her skin, colored silver by the moon. He can't make out the tattoos he knows are there, even though he can trace them with his fingers, his tongue.

Her breasts are full and round and her skin glows with sweat and Tony thinks he's never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

His hands link with hers, giving her leverage, and she uses his own strength against him as she braces herself on his palms, riding him for all she's worth, her cunt hot and wet around his cock, her breath quick and ragged in her throat.

Tony wants to flip her over and feel her legs wrap around his waist. He wants to drive into her and feel her moan and cry out and come when he's buried inside her. And then he wants to slide down between her legs and taste her and lick her clean and have her thighs tighten around his head and come again.

Problem is, he can't move. And it's not because he's bound to the bed, because--for once--he isn't. It's not even because of Abby, because he knows she'd let him.

It has nothing to do with any of that and everything to do with the man sitting silently in the faded armchair, watching both of them, little more than an outline in the darkness.

It has everything to do with Gibbs.

It's only the two of them on the worn sheets tonight, only two of them breathing hard and heavy. It's only Tony and Abby, their bodies joined and their hands locked together.

There are three people in the bed. And it doesn't matter that Tony can't touch Gibbs, that Abby can't twist her head and kiss him. It doesn't matter that he's a few feet away, fully clothed, doing nothing more than watching. He's there, he's in the bed, and Tony feels him as keenly as when Gibbs is the one using his body.

But there are only two people physically making love, and Abby's nails are digging into his hands now, soft whimpers and cries escaping her throat as she struggles toward orgasm, twisting down on his cock, hips moving frantically. Tony watches her and licks sweat off his lip and thanks every higher power he believes in that he's lucky enough to have this. Her.

Gibbs.

Abby's cries reach a high, keening pitch, and she clenches and spasms around Tony's cock as her head falls back in pleasure. "Oh," she says, voice vague and dreamy, sated and purring. "Oh..."

Tony bites his lip and watches and groans when she lifts herself off him, her hands slowly disentangling themselves from his. She licks her lips and pushes herself down his body, moving with the lazy grace of a woman who's just been thoroughly pleasured.

And she takes him into her mouth, licking her juices off his skin, sucking him clean, and Tony's eyes close on their own and he moans, low and deep in his throat. He knows Gibbs is watching, eyes intent on him, and he knows what he must look like, every inch of him spread out on the bed, Abby's mouth wrapped around his cock, his skin damp with sweat.

He can't hold on and he doesn't want to hold on. He wants Gibbs to see him like this, to see him this open, this exposed. Everything he is, all that he has, they're all Gibbs' now and when Tony comes with a gasp and a groan he knows that Abby swallows him down but Gibbs is the one who takes him in.

Abby crawls up his body to kiss him and he tastes both of them in her mouth. Gibbs stands and comes to the bed and kisses Abby, then Tony, his hands in their hair and his lips sure and gentle on theirs. "Beautiful," he murmurs, stroking Abby's hair, Tony's face.

They nuzzle into his hands like kittens, and when Tony kisses Gibbs' palm he tastes salt and calluses. Gibbs laughs, softly, and steps away to undress. He joins them on the bed and they tangle themselves around him, kissing him and caressing his skin. He's not hard, but when Tony reaches down for Gibbs' cock Gibbs shakes his head and catches Tony's hand, bringing it to his lips.

"I wanted to see you," he says softly. "That's enough."

Tony presses a kiss against Gibbs' shoulder. "Did you see what you wanted?" he asks, almost whispers. He knows Gibbs understands his question.

Gibbs traces the line of Tony's face with one gentle finger. "My boy," he says, soft and even and completely, utterly sure. He turns to Abby, matching her smile with one of his own. "My girl."

They sigh in contentment and settle in to sleep, and Tony drifts off with Gibbs' heartbeat under his ear and Gibbs' arm around him. He hears Abby murmur in her sleep and feels her hand on top of his where they rest across Gibbs' chest.

Abby has his heart. Gibbs has his soul.

It's nothing he'd ever have dreamed, and he can't imagine being any other way.


	11. you can't hide

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place sometime after 'Impulse Control', in the [Applied Psychology](http://blueraccoon.livejournal.com/tag/pavlov) universe. 

_author's note: this takes place sometime after 'Impulse Control', in the[Applied Psychology](http://blueraccoon.livejournal.com/tag/pavlov) universe. _

The night is clear, stars sprinkling the deep black sky. It's cold, and Tony's breath comes in small puffs as he sits on the porch, arms wrapped around his knees, his sweats not providing much of a barrier for the winter air. Through the socks and the thick slippers he shoved his feet into, the chill winds its way up his legs. His butt's already gone numb from the freezing porch and he can feel the goosebumps on his neck and his back.

It's probably around three in the morning. It was a little after two-thirty when he slid out of bed and dressed, padding down the stairs of Gibbs' house to come sit on the front porch, looking at the stars and listening to the very occasional car drive by. He knows he should go inside, get something hot to drink or just crawl back into bed, but he can't bring himself to do it just yet.

Tony lowers his forehead to his knees and wonders when life became about surrender and control and passion, about bone-deep honesty and pure emotion. He wonders when he started wanting to _be_ taken care of, when he started wanting to be held and cuddled. He wonders what kind of a man it makes him, that he has to sleep with a man on one side of him and a woman on the other to feel safe, to feel wanted.

And he wonders when he'll fuck it up, because if Tony's learned anything in life it's that nothing good lasts forever, especially where he's concerned.

He looks up at the sky again. He barely knows enough to pick out the Big Dipper, but there's something comforting about the serene white light of the stars. Briefly, he thinks about making a wish, but he's got no idea what to wish for, and a generic wish for happiness is just asking for trouble.

Behind him, the door opens. A moment later, it closes and Gibbs sits down next to him, holding out a mug. Tony blinks in surprise, but takes the mug, drinking carefully as the contents are steaming in the night air. He's startled again to taste hot cocoa rather than coffee; he didn't even think Gibbs _had_ cocoa.

Gibbs sips from his own mug, looking up. He's dressed in jeans and a sweatshirt and socks, there's stubble on his jaw, and he seems content to sit next to Tony and drink his cocoa and say nothing.

They drink in silence, Tony because he has no idea what to say and Gibbs because...Tony has no idea why. He looks into his mug, but the brown depths have no answers for him, any more than the sky above.

"Why me?" he asks finally. "You were happy with Abby. Why--why did you let her?"

Gibbs sets his mug down next to Tony's. "Because I couldn't not let her, Tony. Because the instant you walked into my house, looking like a drowned rat and so lost you needed a map to find your own ass, you became mine. You needed both of us, and we--" Gibbs shrugs. "I won't lie to you, Tony. I didn't think we did. But she wanted you to be happy, Tony. And if that meant adding you to our relationship, that's what it meant."

"So you did it out of pity?" The words sound sullen and bitter to his own ears.

"No." Gibbs' voice is even, with a hint of steel underneath. "I did it because you needed us. Because Abby wanted it. And because I wanted it." He smiles a little. "I only gave you one chance, Tony. If I'd given you more, you would have run. And I wasn't letting you go. You were mine then. You're mine now."

"Gibbs..." Tony shakes his head. "I don't know how to do this. I'm going to fuck it up."

Gibbs laughs. "I've been married three times, Tony. None of us know how to do this. If we fuck it up, we'll fuck it up together." He holds out an arm and Tony scoots over to him, leaning against him. Gibbs kisses the top of his head, hugging him close. "C'mon," Gibbs says after a moment. "Let's go back to bed."

Tony stands, a little stiffly due to the cold. It's not--quite--the answer he was looking for, but he doesn't know what would be. And he doesn't think this is the last time he'll come downstairs in the middle of the night, looking at the sky for explanations he can't find within himself.

On the other hand, Gibbs makes really good hot cocoa.

As he crawls back into bed and lets Gibbs hold him, breathing in the man's scent of sawdust and Ivory soap and cold winter air, Tony closes his eyes and makes a wish.


	12. against the wall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> over and over again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [](http://sandersyager.livejournal.com/profile)[**sandersyager**](http://sandersyager.livejournal.com/), who asked for [pavlov](http://blueraccoon.livejournal.com/tag/pavlov) fic.

Title: against the wall  
Author: rebecca  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby/Tony  
Rating: NC-17  
Summary: over and over again  
Notes: Written for [](http://sandersyager.livejournal.com/profile)[**sandersyager**](http://sandersyager.livejournal.com/), who asked for [pavlov](http://blueraccoon.livejournal.com/tag/pavlov) fic.

 

It's been one of those days, the sixteen-hour nonstop ones, starting with a call at 0500 that they had a case. And it wasn't just any case; they had a dead Marine and a dead four-year-old girl out at Norfolk. So Tony and Gibbs had grabbed their clothes and left Abby to yawn her way into the lab and gone to get the truck and get the gear and find out what had happened. And the forensics were iffy and they had two different TODs and neither Sergeant Rawlins nor Marissa Clarke had been killed where they were found. And it was hours before they had a viable lead and even then it was dicey, but it was all they had, and in the end it was nine o'clock before Jason Hawthorn succumbed to Gibbs' interrogation and confessed to both murders.

Nine o'clock, and none of them had been hungry, but they knew they had to eat, so Tony and Gibbs had stopped at the deli on their way home and gotten pastrami and corned beef and spicy mustard and rye bread, and cole slaw and potato salad and cream soda, and they'd made sandwiches and sprawled out on the couch and not talked about what was going to happen later that night. What they all wanted to happen.

Because it's been one of those days, a day of brick walls and frustration and dead ends every way they looked. It's been a sixteen-hour day full of images of dead children, of too much caffeine and greasy burgers for a lunch grabbed hastily on their way to yet another interview. And it's been a day where the pressure's been building, and building, and even taking Hawthorn in for booking isn't enough to let it go.

So they ate their dinner and they said nothing, and after dinner Abby cleaned up and Tony went upstairs to shower, and by the time Abby made her way upstairs and Gibbs followed, Tony was kneeling on the bed, naked, hands behind his back.

Because it's Tony, on nights like these. Tony, who needs to release the pressure as much as Gibbs. Tony, who matches Gibbs' anger and grief with his own, who offers himself up as a substitute for the one Gibbs can't have. Tony, whose faith in Gibbs is absolute, who trusts Gibbs not to go past his limits, not to give him what he can't handle.

And Gibbs pushes him, pushes him past Tony's comfort zone. The paddle, the whip, the words; Gibbs wields them all mercilessly, until Tony's crying behind the blindfold, until his wrists chafe from struggling against the cuffs. Tony's back is marked, his ass is red, and still Gibbs doesn't stop. Gibbs' breath is harsh and fast in his throat, his arm aches, but it's not enough and it won't be enough. Not now, not after a day like today.

But Tony's reaching his limits, Tony can only take so much, and the next crack of the whip is the last he can handle. He screams, falling forward, arms held up by the chain connecting them to the headboard, head hanging down, tears and sweat mixing on his face, and he cries, purging his body of the bitterness, of the anger, all of it swept away by the pain Gibbs gives him, the need Gibbs fills for him.

Gibbs puts down the whip and uncuffs him and holds him, and his eyes are closed and his arms are gentle around Tony, and if he whispers a gratitude under his breath Tony will never hear. Because it's enough, now. Because Gibbs has Tony in his arms, broken and sobbing and achingly, beautifully his. Tony knows nothing else, nothing but pain and pleasure and Gibbs, and it's enough for both of them to have this, to be allowed to have this.

The cool washcloth to clean his face, the cream to soothe his back; Abby has these, offerings to the priest, only the cleric and the god are one and the same and if Gibbs tastes her tears when he kisses her neither of them will ever say a word. They minister to Tony, they soothe him and stroke him, and they lie down on either side of him, their arms around him, Abby's hand on Gibbs' hip and his fingers brushing her shoulder. It's not about sex, not tonight, and while they may wake up in the morning with Gibbs' cock in Abby's cunt or Tony's mouth on her clit, that's for later.

It's been one of those days, one of those endless sixteen-hour nonstop days, and the only thing that makes it bearable is that they have this, at the end of it all. They have each other and a relationship that defies all conventions but somehow manages to work. They have the pain, the pleasure, the line that blurs between both. They have Tony's surrender, Abby's submission. They have Gibbs' dominance, his control and his passion.

So they sleep, and if Tony dreams of too-small bodies in body bags or if Gibbs dreams of a life that was his, once upon a time, those are wisps, faded away into the mist of unconsciousness as seamlessly as they appeared. Because it doesn't matter right now, because they've made it through another day.

Today has taken care of itself, and tomorrow will come when tomorrow does, and tomorrow they will still have this. And it keeps them sane, and it keeps them safe, and they make it through the days one at a time, because it's the only way to survive.

And this is the only way they have.


	13. Recovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He'd done what he always did. He'd fucked it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I saw Hiatus, I went "Well, hell, there goes Pavlov." Then I decided to fix it. So yes. Massive spoilers for Hiatus.

Title: Recovery  
Author: rebecca  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby/Tony  
Rating: R  
Series: [Applied Psychology](http://blueraccoon.livejournal.com/tag/pavlov)  
Summary: He'd done what he always did. He'd fucked it up.  
Notes: After I saw Hiatus, I went "Well, hell, there goes Pavlov." Then I decided to fix it. So yes. Massive spoilers for Hiatus.

For [](http://skripka.livejournal.com/profile)[**skripka**](http://skripka.livejournal.com/) and [](http://sandersyager.livejournal.com/profile)[**sandersyager**](http://sandersyager.livejournal.com/).

 

The sun was just coming up, its light watery and gray-blue through wispy clouds, as he unlocked the door and stepped inside. He dropped his duffle bag and rubbed a tired hand over the stubble on his jaw, stifling a yawn. He needed a shower, and a shave, and about twelve hours' sleep on something that wasn't moving.

But first, he needed to find them.

Gibbs knew it was a futile hope that they'd be upstairs. It had been over three months--thirteen weeks, if he bothered to count--and finding them in his bed--in what had been _their_ bed--was unlikely. Still, he climbed the stairs, running his hand over the smooth silky wood of the banister, and opened the door to the bedroom.

It was empty. More than that, it was bare. The bed was stripped, the closet door hung open and the only thing Gibbs saw in it were a couple of shirts he hadn't bothered to pack. There was a faint layer of dust over everything, as well; whenever they'd packed up and left, they'd done it a while ago. Gibbs gritted his teeth and reminded himself that he couldn't just--well. Anyway.

He stopped in the bathroom and saw nothing there but a bar of Ivory and an upside-down bottle of Abby's shampoo, almost empty, leaning against the side of the shower caddy. "Pretty girl," he whispered, swallowing hard. "Christ, what have I done?"

He'd done what he always did, Gibbs thought on his way back downstairs. He picked up his duffle and stepped outside into the dawn, tossing the bag into the trunk of the rental car. He'd fucked it up.

And he had no idea if they'd let him fix it.

Question was, where to go next? They could be either place--for all he knew, they were sleeping separately, although he doubted it. He'd left them; they wouldn't have left each other.

With a shrug, he headed for Tony's. It was closer, at any rate, and if they weren't there he'd go to Abby's.

On the drive, he tried to figure out what to say, but was no closer now than he'd been when Mike had told him--cordially--to get the hell out and go back to his life.

_"You can't hide forever, Gibbs. You're not like me. And you've got something back home, don't you?"_

_Gibbs took a long pull on his beer. "Not anymore," he said shortly._

_"Whose fault is that?" Mike gave him a shrewd look. "Look, Gibbs. You want to come here, do some fishing, not think for a bit, be my guest. You want to come hide from whatever you've got back there, get the fuck out."_

"Bastard," Gibbs muttered under his breath. He pulled into Tony's parking garage and found an open spot. And then he shut off the engine and just sat there for a while, trying to get up the ability to go upstairs.

He cursed himself six ways to Sunday for a coward and got out, slamming the door a bit harder than he needed to. As he walked to the elevator, he was so lost in thought that he almost missed seeing Tony's Mustang.

Almost.

The elevator ride took forever; Gibbs stared at the numbers and had no idea what he was going to do. Auto-pilot had him step out and walk down the hall to Tony's apartment. Sheer bravado had him knock.

Then he waited.

It was a minute before he heard muffled sounds behind the door and a little longer before it swung open. "Ziva, next time you--"

Tony's eyes went cold and all emotion drained from his face. Gibbs didn't even see it coming; one second he was standing and the next he was flat on his back, blood on his lip and Tony's knuckles. His jaw throbbed, but when he gingerly ran his tongue around his teeth they were all still there. He pushed himself up with a grunt, getting to his feet and licking the blood away.

"That's the least of what you deserve," Tony snarled at him. "The _least_."

"I know."

"Get out," Tony said in that same low snarl. "Get the fuck out."

"Tony--" Gibbs swallowed and gritted his teeth. "Tony. Please. Let me--"

"I don't have to let you do anything! You gave up that right, along with every other right you might once have thought you had. Get. Out." He'd gone from cold to hot--he was almost vibrating with anger, barely leashed and reminding Gibbs of a cornered, wounded tiger.

"Tony?" Abby's voice was blurred with sleep. She stepped up behind him, peeking around him. Her hair was mussed from sleep and she wore a black pajama top--the match to the pajama bottoms Tony had on, Gibbs noted absently. "What--" Her face went white. "Gibbs," she whispered.

Tony put his arm around her, cuddling her protectively against his side. "It's okay, Abs. He was just leaving. Weren't you, GIbbs?" Tony's smile reminded Gibbs of nothing so much as a shark.

Tony's anger was bad enough, but the quiet, silent devastation in Abby's eyes--"Pretty girl," Gibbs whispered.

"Don't call me that!"

The crack of her palm against his cheek echoed down the hall.

"Look," Gibbs said, trying for patience. "If you two are going to beat me up, can we do it somewhere less likely to attract attention?"

"Oh, I think we're done," Tony said silkily.

"No," Abby said softly. "Let him in, Tony."

Tony stared at her, surprise written all over his face. "Abs--"

"I want him to tell us why he left. I want him to tell us why he never told us about Shannon and Kelly before. I want him to tell us why he thinks he can come back and walk right back into our lives." She smiled sweetly. "Then I want to kick him out."

Slowly, Tony nodded. "All right." He stepped aside and Gibbs walked into Tony's apartment.

It was much the same as always; huge plasma TV, comfy couch, stacks of DVDs, a wastebasket filled with takeout cartons and paper plates. Gibbs took a seat in the armchair, watching Abby sit on the couch and Tony stand behind it, arms crossed over his chest.

"We're waiting," Tony said after a moment, voice clipped and cold.

Gibbs pressed his lips together and took a deep breath. "When I left--it had been one shock after another for the past two days. Waking up and thinking it was fifteen years ago, reliving the deaths of--of my family, getting my memory back in time to give a warning no one heard, just in time for it to not matter at all--" He shook his head, eyes clouding as he remembered. "I'd gotten my memory back, but part of me was still struggling with the--with--"

"With the family you never told us about," Tony said acidly.

"Yes." Gibbs looked up at him. "Do you want me to apologize for that, Tony?"

"I want to know why you never told us."

Two pairs of green eyes fixed on him and Gibbs closed his own, remembering. Shannon had had eyes like--"I couldn't," he said finally. "After it happened, after--I locked it away. It was just...too painful to remember. No one knew. Not even Ducky. I didn't tell anyone."

"We're not anyone," Abby said softly. "We were your lovers, Gibbs, and we deserved to know."

"I'm sorry." Gibbs looked at her, spreading his hands. "That's all I can say."

"So you just left." Tony looked ready to spit nails. "You didn't talk to us, you didn't say anything. You gave me your badge and your gun and you walked out the door."

"I knew you two would be all right. You had each other. And I--I couldn't be what you wanted. Not--"

"You knew _nothing_!" Tony exploded, and in one step he was around the couch, hands clenched at his sides. "You knew--fuck, Gibbs, for Christ's sake, you were our _lover_ , our _Master_ \--you had everything of us, everything we were and you gave us nothing back! We _needed_ you, we fucking _loved_ you, and you walked out on us! You said you couldn't be what we wanted? Fuck, Gibbs, all you _ever_ had to be with us was yourself! You son of a bitch, did you ever think that maybe trust goes both ways? That we trusted you with our lives, with--you knew what Kristen did to me and I let you anyway and this is what I get in return?"

He lunged forward, but Abby caught him, hands on his shoulders, pressing him back. "C'mon, baby, c'mon, shh, shh, baby, look at me, look at me, c'mon..." She kept murmuring to him, forcing him to look at her. "C'mon, Tony, just breathe for me, baby, that's it, just breathe..."

Tony closed his eyes and dropped his forehead against Abby's, breathing hard. She ran her nails through his hair and down his neck, petting him, still murmuring to him, coaxing him to come down a bit. "Go make some coffee, okay, baby?" she asked, kissing his forehead.

"Okay." Tony's voice was hoarse and he pulled away slowly, walking into the kitchen without a glance at Gibbs.

"Does that happen often?" Gibbs asked quietly.

"Do you really care?" Abby snapped.

"Abby...please. Tell me." Gibbs had seen Tony lose his temper before. He'd seen Tony upset. But there'd been no control in what he'd just seen--nothing held back, and Gibbs had a feeling that if Abby hadn't been there, it would have gotten very ugly very quickly.

She folded her arms over her chest. "Two weeks ago, Tony was suspended for five days for unnecessarily roughing up a suspect while in custody," she said coolly. "It was a bad case--guy kidnapped his wife and their six-year-old daughter. When we caught him, the daughter was dead. The mother's in a coma. By the time anyone managed to pull Tony off the guy, he had a fractured jaw and three broken ribs." Abby raised an eyebrow. "Is this what you wanted to know, Gibbs? You were always the one who could hold him back. You were always the one he looked up to. He held it under control because of you, and now he's got nothing. I'm the only one who can calm him down and it's getting harder and harder to do. Madame Director wants him to step down as team leader, and if he doesn't, she's probably going to make him soon."

"Abby--it wasn't that i didn't trust you." Gibbs swallowed. "It was just too painful. I pretended it had never happened."

"No lies, Gibbs. Remember? You told us that? We had to be honest with you. Did you think that didn't apply to yourself?" Abby tilted her head to the side. "When did we _ever_ give you the impression that we'd leave you if we found out you'd once had a wife and a daughter? When did we _ever_ make you think we wanted you to _be_ something to us?" She shook her head. "We wanted you, Gibbs. We needed you. And you abandoned us."

"You didn't need me," Gibbs said quietly. "You--"

"Don't you ever tell me what I do and do not need," Abby hissed. "We needed _you_ , Gibbs. You were our center. You were our Master, the one who held us together, and did you think we'd have cared if you needed us to take care of you? We'd done it before, Gibbs--it goes both ways, remember? We needed you--you held us and you gave us what we needed, what we wanted--did you think Tony didn't need you? Did you _honestly_ think he didn't need you just because he had me, too? It took three of us. It took all three of us to make it work and Tony and I can't do it without you and--" Tears were rolling down her face and she hiccupped, rubbing them away. "We thought you'd come back, at first," she went on steadily. "We slept at the house, we kept your coffee and we made sure the boat was ready for you. After a week...we just couldn't do it anymore, we couldn't keep pretending. So we left."

"You've been staying here since then?" Gibbs asked, dying a little inside. He wanted to hold her and kiss her tears away, and he knew she'd claw his eyes out if he tried.

"His place, my place, doesn't matter." Abby shrugged and dropped onto the couch.

Tony came back in, carrying two mugs. He handed one to Abby and sat down next to her, setting the other on a coaster on his dining room table. No one said anything for a long moment; Abby looked at her coffee, Tony looked at the floor, and Gibbs looked anywhere but at them.

"What do you want, Gibbs?" Tony asked finally.

"I want to fix this," Gibbs said quietly. He looked up, meeting Tony's eyes. "I hurt you both, badly, and...I never, ever meant...I wasn't thinking. I was recovering from a pretty severe injury, and--it doesn't matter. I hurt you both, and that's what matters."

"I don't know if you can fix this," Abby whispered. "You _walked out_ on us. Are we supposed to forgive you for that? Just snap our fingers and everything's fine?"

"No. I know we can't do that." Gibbs' throat was dry and he wished, fervently, for coffee. "But I want to try and make this better."

"You can't," Tony said curtly. "You lost your chance."

Abby set her coffee mug down. "Tell us about them," she said quietly. "Tell us about Shannon and Kelly."

"What good--" GIbbs shut up. He didn't have the right to protest. Not now.

"We've shared everything with you, Gibbs. If you want to make this better--if you want to fix this--it's time to return the favor." Abby looked at him levelly, her eyes dry and her face calm. "Tell us about them, Gibbs, and then we'll see."

"Abby--no!" Tony stood, looking down at her. "No. He doesn't--why the fuck should we listen? We didn't matter enough to him for him to tell us in the first place, why the hell should we listen now? He gave up whatever rights he had to us. Why the hell should we even listen, let alone give him a second chance?"

"And you never screwed up?" she countered.

"I never walked out on my partners for three fucking months!" Tony shouted. "If he was that upset, he should have come to us, Abs. Not just gone running to his old boss. _We_ were the ones he was living with, the ones he slept with. _We_ were the ones he should have come to. Not Franks. And he just walked out on us! Fuck it, Abs. If you want to listen to some sob story, that's on your head. I'm not--no."

"Tony--" Gibbs said, a little hesitantly.

"Fuck you." Tony spun and stalked into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Abby bit her lip, looking at the door worriedly. An uncomfortable silence spread through the living room and when the door slammed open again Abby jumped.

Tony had changed into running gear and even a quick look at him revealed something Gibbs hadn't seen--or hadn't wanted to see--before. Tony had lost weight; shorts that would have fit snugly two months before were now loose and the same was true of his T-shirt. There were hollows under his eyes, hollows matched by the shadows under Abby's, now that he'd actually _looked_.

"Tony, don't," Abby said, getting up from the couch. "C'mon, baby. Please."

"Don't 'baby' me," Tony warned her. "You want to sit here and listen to stories we should have known months ago, that's up to you. I don't want to be anywhere _near_ him right now."

She bit her lip again, a nervous gesture Gibbs hadn't seen before. "What if he left? What if we met later?"

"There's no--"

"Tony." Abby rested a hand on his arm, forcing him to meet her eyes. "Whether you like it or not, this isn't over between the three of us. Not yet. If you keep running, it never will be." She swallowed, but her voice was steady. "You ran from Philly, Tony. You ran from us until we made you stay. Stop running for once, Tony. Just...just stop it."

He flinched. "That's not fair," he said hoarsely.

"I don't care."

Tony's free hand clenched into a fist and his jaw tightened. "Don't push it, Abby," he said, voice low. "Because I've had enough."

"If we met later?" Abby pressed. "Someplace neutral?"

"Sanderson's. One o'clock." Tony glared at her. "Is that good enough for you?"

She nodded and looked at Gibbs. He nodded silently.

"Fine." Tony blew out a breath. "I'm going running," he said brusquely. "I don't want to see you here when I get back."

With that, he left, the door not-quite-slamming behind him.

Gibbs thought wryly that Tony always did know how to make an exit. "I'll see you there," he said, standing. Abby nodded silently.

At the door, he hesitated, looking back at Abby. She had her arms wrapped around her stomach and was looking down, hair hanging over her face. "Just go, Gibbs," she said wearily. "Just...just go."

He didn't want to. But he left.

Question was, where was he going to go? He couldn't face the house again. Not the way it was, bare and empty and full of memories. Ducky would take him in, no questions asked, but Gibbs wasn't up to dealing with Mrs. Mallard and her corgis.

The irony of checking into a hotel didn't escape him, but he signed the credit card slip and took the stairs to the third floor. The water pressure was adequate, the water hot, and after a decadently long time under the spray he almost felt human again.

Gibbs drained the last of the coffee he'd picked up on his way to the hotel and sprawled out on the bed, wearing nothing more than a towel. He closed his eyes, intending to nap for a few minutes.

When he opened them again, it was noon and he'd pulled himself out of a dream where Tony was in his arms, moving and twisting against him, hair damp with sweat and head fallen back in pleasure. Gibbs' hands ached with the sense memory of Tony's body and he swore before going to run them under cold water.

Sanderson's wasn't too far from the hotel; close enough that he decided to walk. He pulled on jeans and a blue shirt, fastened his watch--the one they'd given him for his birthday--and ran a brush through his hair before heading out the door.

It was sunny and breezy, which surprised him; he'd almost expected it to be cloudy and gloomy in reflection of everything else. But the weather never did cooperate.

He got to Sanderson's about five minutes to one and gave his name to the host, saying that he was meeting a man and a woman. The host nodded and showed him on back to a secluded booth, with Tony and Abby sitting on one side of it. She wore black cargo pants and a black T-shirt with a skull on it and he wore jeans and a faded green T-shirt. Neither of them looked all that well rested; there was a cup of coffee in front of Tony and a soda in front of Abby.

"Something to drink?" the waitress asked perkily.

"Coffee," Gibbs said, a little surprised at how rusty his voice was.

"You got it." She headed off to get the pot and Gibbs looked at his hands, then at Tony and Abby. Tony sat on the outside of the booth, eyes scanning the room restlessly.

Cop's eyes.

"So," Abby said, toying with her straw. "We gonna actually try and talk or are we gonna sit here and pretend to eat?"

The waitress returned with Gibbs' coffee. "You folks need another minute to decide?" she asked.

Tony shook his head. "Mushroom Swiss burger, medium," he said.

"Got it. And for you?" she asked, turning to Abby.

"I'll have a cup of the chicken tortilla soup and the chicken Caesar wrap." Abby put her menu on top of Tony's.

"And you, sir?"

Gibbs looked briefly at the menu. "Bacon cheeseburger, medium rare. Pepper jack cheese."

"No problem." The waitress gathered up their menus and grinned. "I'll go put that right in for you." She left

"Apparently we're gonna pretend to eat, at least," Abby commented. "What about the rest?"

"You're the one who wanted this meeting," Tony reminded her. "You talk."

"I'm not the one who needs to," she said quietly. "Tony, come on. Please."

Tony sighed. "Okay. Whatever. Fine. Talk."

"Tell us about them," Abby said quietly. "Tell us about Shannon and Kelly."

Pain ripped through him at the sound of their names. Fifteen years ago and it was yesterday and he couldn't do this, but he saw the pain and determination in Abby's eyes and the hurt and anger in Tony's. He took a deep breath, and a swallow of coffee, and nodded.

"The two happiest moments in my life were the day I married Shannon and the first time I held Kelly in my arms," Gibbs said quietly. "Shannon--she was beautiful, an Irish redhead, and the moment I saw her I fell for her. She was young when we got married--she was only twenty-one--but it didn't matter. She and I...when she told me she was pregnant, we didn't know how we were going to afford a baby but we didn't care about that, either. The baby--it was _ours_ , our baby, and we were a family. I loved her so much--" He stopped, taking a swallow of coffee. "It was a hard labor," he said, remembering. "Shannon was slender, and there were some problems, and they thought they might have to do a C-section, but in the end Kelly came out screaming, and Shannon started laughing, and when they gave me Kelly to hold..." Gibbs closed his eyes against the futile tears. "I didn't think I could ever love something so much," he whispered.

Abby took a drink of soda, lashes lowered. Gibbs couldn't see her face and he couldn't read Tony's. But he kept on.

"We were happy. The three of us--Shannon and I talked about having another baby, but money was tight. We tried anyway, but she...she miscarried twice. Once at three months, once at two, and after that the doctor said it was unlikely she'd ever be able to carry another child to term. She was devastated--she wanted more children, but...I told her it didn't matter to me. She and Kelly were all I needed to be happy. All I wanted." Gibbs swallowed hard and shook his head. "I went to Iraq, Desert Storm, and I was supposed to be the one in trouble, the one who needed to stay safe, and they were the ones who needed protecting."

His fingers tightened around his mug. He wanted to get up, to pace, but he had to sit here and tell them. "They needed me, and I wasn't there," he said, hearing the grief in his voice and not caring. "They--" Gibbs shook his head again. "I went a little insane. I went after the bastard who killed them. I had to. It was all I had left, and it wasn't enough." He rubbed a hand over his face. "Nothing was enough. Nothing was going to bring them back. And if I was going to move on with my life, I had to lock it away. Pretend I'd never been married, never been a f-father--" His voice trembled on the word and he cursed himself for a fool. "I tried to replace them. Barbara, Diane, Christine--it didn't matter, because no one was Shannon and no one was going to _be_ Shannon."

Gibbs picked up his mug and took a drink of coffee. "Shannon and I had played a little," he said, looking down again. "Not much. Handcuffs, spanking--nothing much more than that. I didn't want to hurt her, not like that. I didn't know, then." He shrugged. "After they died...I went looking for more. I wanted a way to exorcise it. I learned more, and somewhere along the way I found out that I liked the game for the sake of the game. But no one else was interested to the same level that I was, and I could only play vanilla for so long."

He looked up. "And then there was you," he said to Abby.

Tears shone in her eyes; one glittered on her lashes. She didn't say anything, and next to her Tony was looking down at his hands. Gibbs couldn't even see his face, let alone read him.

The waitress chose that moment to arrive with their food, setting the plates down efficiently. "You folks need anything else?" she asked.

"More coffee," Tony and Gibbs said together.

"Be right back." She grinned and left.

Abby picked up her spoon, toying with her soup. "Why me, Gibbs?" she asked softly.

"You..." Gibbs sighed. "I knew you weren't vanilla. I knew you played, and I knew you subbed. It's not hard to see if you know how to look, and you weren't exactly hiding it. And I thought...I had a feeling you'd respond to me. I didn't think it would be anything serious, Abby. Not at first. But when you called me, I knew...and that third time--" He sighed again. "You were mine, Abby. And I wasn't going to let you go."

Gibbs looked at Tony. "And you know why," he said quietly.

Tony nodded.

"I didn't tell you because I couldn't." Gibbs took a sip of coffee and held out his mug for the waitress, waiting until she was gone to continue. "I'd locked that part of my life away, so tightly I almost thought it was a dream. I'd been happy once and it had fallen apart on me. I thought...if I told you..."

"You thought we'd fall apart as well?" Tony asked incredulously. "Why, because you'd been happy before? Give us some credit, Gibbs. Neither of us ever thought we were the first in your bed. We didn't even think we were the first subs in your bed. We _wanted_ you to be happy, Gibbs."

"I didn't say it made sense," Gibbs said, a little testily. "Only that it was how I felt. I wanted to keep you separate from that, as if by not telling you it wouldn't touch you."

"You should have told us," Abby murmured. "You should have let us..."

"I know." Gibbs looked at his untouched food and grimaced. "I can only say I'm sorry so many times, Abby."

"But you left us," Tony broke in.

"I couldn't be what you--"

"Stop that!" Tony's voice was quiet, but carried the force of a whip crack. "Just--did you think that little of us? Did you know us that little, that you thought we needed you to _be_ something to us? Christ, Gibbs, we needed _you_. We'd have given you anything you wanted, anything you needed, so long as you let us. But you walked out."

"I was afraid," Gibbs said, almost a whisper. "Is that what you wanted to know, Tony?"

"All I wanted to know is why you left," Tony said simply.

"After everything--I wasn't thinking clearly. When the Cape Fear blew up, after that--all I could think was that I'd had enough. I was done. You two had each other, you didn't need one battle-scarred old warhorse with nothing left." Gibbs drained his coffee and picked up his water glass. "I had nothing left, Tony. Not even for myself."

"And you didn't trust us to help," Tony said bitterly.

"Tony, I'd just come out of a coma and regained my memory. How clearly do you want me to have been thinking?" Gibbs said in exasperation.

"I would _hope_ that we'd have come first with you!" Tony snapped. "That you'd have felt enough of a connection to us that you felt you could come to _us_ instead of running off to join your old boss in Mexico! Did you fuck him too, Gibbs?"

Gibbs itched to smack the sneer off Tony's face and only the hurt in Tony's eyes kept him from doing so. "What do you want from me, Tony?" he asked wearily.

"Everything. Nothing." Tony shook his head. "It doesn't matter, Gibbs. You made your choice when you walked out."

"No second chances, is that it?" Gibbs asked.

"Do you honestly think you deserve one?" Tony countered.

"No. But I'm asking anyway."

Tony looked down at his coffee cup, and when he looked back up at Gibbs his eyes were guarded. "You want to know what I want, Gibbs?" he asked with a small, tight smile.

No. Gibbs nodded. "Tell me," he said.

"I want the same honesty from you that we gave you. I want you to surrender to us. I want you to give us that same trust we always gave you. All the games we played, all the scenes, and you never lost that control. I want you to give it up, Gibbs." Tony spoke simply, as if he was suggesting having another cup of coffee. "We never saw you laid bare for us, Gibbs. Maybe that's why you left. I don't know. But if you think I'm going to even _think_ about letting you back in without seeing that honesty from you, you're out of your mind. And just saying you will doesn't cut it. I want to see it."

"Tony--" Abby looked at him with wide eyes. "He walks out for three months and now you want him back in our bed?"

"That's the price," Tony said matter-of-factly. "We've always communicated through sex, Abs. From the first time I showed up at the house until now, we've always talked through sex. If Gibbs wants the chance to try and fix things...that's the price."

Not the price of fixing things. The price of being allowed to _try_ and fix things. Gibbs blew out a breath.

"I need some time to think about it," he said. "That's not a no, that's..." Gibbs shrugged. "What you're asking for is something I've never done before. I need time to think."

Tony nodded. "We're not going anywhere," he said pointedly.

"Abby?" He looked at her, wondering if she had anything else to add.

She stirred her soup. "As weird as it is--Tony's right. You demanded honesty from us, Gibbs, but where was yours?" Abby shook her head. "I can't say it's not kind of hinky to have you show up and then come back into our bed, but...it's conditional. And I think he's right--this might just be the only way we can begin to fix things, if that's even worth it. It's your turn, Gibbs. You've seen both of us laid open for you before--now it's your turn."

Slowly, he nodded. "I have to think about it."

"That's fair. You know our numbers."

He had to smile. "You didn't change them on me?"

"No, although I almost changed the locks." Tony gave Gibbs a cool smile. "Abby talked me out of it."

"I wouldn't have blamed you."

"Not mine." Tony's smile sharpened. "Yours."

"It was either that or break your coffeemaker," Abby added cheerfully. "Neither of which we did--we thought better of it once we sobered up."

"Did you touch the boat?" He wasn't sure whether he wanted them to have done so or not.

"No." Abby shook her head. "Almost, but we were too drunk to actually navigate the stairs to the basement and then we were too hungover to move."

"And then we decided you weren't worth the trouble of destroying your things." Tony smiled again. "We did, however, go through the contents of your liquor cabinet."

On reflection, he was glad they'd stopped at the booze. "Okay." Gibbs nodded and stood. "I'll call you. One way or the other." He reached for his wallet but Tony shook his head.

"I can afford it. After all, I got a promotion. And a raise." His smile didn't reach his eyes; none of them had. "You call us when you're ready, Gibbs."

He nodded--and unable to face either of them any longer, he turned and left.

****************************

"He said he'd be over in half an hour," Abby said, hanging up the phone. She turned to Tony, rubbing her arms. "And from there..." She shrugged.

Tony nodded. "Okay." He blew out a breath. "I didn't think we'd have heard from him for a few days. Not today, at any rate." He sat down on the couch, hands draped loosely between his knees. They'd gone to Abby's after lunch, to recover a bit. It had only been an hour when the phone had rung.

"Yeah. Me either." Abby bit her lip. "Tony--" She took a deep breath. "Tony, I don't think this is a good idea."

"Why?" Tony looked at her. "We said--"

"No, _you_ said." Abby kept her body language quiet; she didn't want to piss him off any more than she probably already had. "I don't think this is the right way to do it, Tony. I don't think forcing him into our bed is what we should be doing."

"Then what do you think we should be doing?" Tony demanded.

"I don't know. But I don't think this is it. Tony, do you honestly think either of us _could_ top him? Especially now? What you're talking about is too close to what Kristen did to you, and you _know_ that's not fair." She met his eyes evenly. "Is it, Tony?"

"It's nothing like what Kristen did to me!" Tony snapped.

"Isn't it?" Abby asked quietly. "Kristen hurt you just to prove she could. Why are you doing this, Tony?"

"It's not the same," Tony insisted. "It's not--how could you even _think_ I'd do that?"

She crossed her arms over her chest tightly. "Tony--do you actually even think you can top him? Ignoring every reason why we're here, and why he's coming over--do you really think you _can_ top him? You're not a switch. Neither is he. And I don't care if he's willing--he doesn't know _how_ to sub, and you--"

Anger flashed in Tony's eyes and he got to his feet, pacing. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Abs," he said, clearly hurt.

"Tony--" Abby sighed and went to him. "It's nothing to do with that. It's just--you and he had a very clearly defined dynamic, and I just don't know if you can turn that on its head. Especially now." She cupped his face in her hands, forcing him to look at her. "I'm sorry, baby," she said softly. "But I don't want to be part of it."

He jerked his head away. "So you're giving up on the three of us?"

"No!" She punched him in the shoulder. "He came back to us, Tony. That's got to count for something. I don't want to give up on the chance that we can make this right. But I just...don't think this is the way to do it."

"I don't have another one." Tony rubbed his shoulder and moved away, sitting down on the couch again. "I don't even know if I want him back."

She sat down next to him, her heart aching. "Yes, you do," she said, kissing his cheek. "You want him back as much as I do, because it takes all three of us to make this work and as much as I love you and as much as you love me, we're not him. And we need him."

Absently, Tony rubbed his collarbone. "Then what do we do?" he asked plaintively.

Abby shook her head. "I don't know."

The knock at the door startled them both. Abby squeezed Tony's knee and rose to answer it, letting Gibbs in without a word. Tony got to his feet and turned to face him, hands behind his back.

Only Abby saw how tightly they were clenched together. "I--Abby and I talked," Tony said. "And--we can't do this."

Abby didn't miss the look of pain that flashed across Gibbs' face, any more than she missed the shuttered look that came down after it. "That's it, then?" Gibbs asked roughly. "No more chances?"

Tony swallowed. "Why can't I hate you?" he whispered.

_That_ Abby hadn't expected. She almost took a step toward him before forcing herself to stay where she was, almost equidistant from both of them. This--this was between them.

"Tony--" Gibbs sounded uncertain.

"I wanted--I want--God, Gibbs, I just wanted to hate you," Tony said, the words spilling over each other. "I just wanted to hate you for what you'd done to us, so I didn't have to think about ever taking you back. I wanted you gone, I wanted even the ghost of your memory gone. I almost quit, you know? I almost turned in my resignation and moved on, but I couldn't. Because you'd done that. And I was going to be damned if I followed in your footsteps on _that_ one. God, Gibbs, I needed you, so badly, and I thought--" He swallowed. "I thought you'd left because of that. Because you couldn't handle how much I needed from you. It's different with Abby, you know? She's your girl, she's _always_ been your girl, even before the two of you were sleeping together. You've always adored her. But me--" Tony shrugged. "I wanted to hate you, and I ended up hating myself, because I couldn't decide if you'd left because of me or if I hadn't even _registered_ enough. And now you're back, and part of me just wants to fall to my knees for you, and the rest of me just wants to hate you enough that I can make you go away." His voice was thick with pain; Abby saw tears on his lashes. "You took me in when you had no reason to," he said, his hands clenched so tightly behind his back his knuckles were white. "And then you cast me out the same way."

"Tony--" Gibbs was around the couch, his hands on Tony's shoulders, before Abby could blink. "Christ, Tony--no. No. It wasn't you. It was never you. I loved you, Tony. I still do. God, if you believe anything, believe that. Believe that I love you." He raised a hand, brushing a tear off Tony's cheek gently. "I had to leave," he said, almost whispering. "I didn't trust myself around you--I didn't know what I wanted, what I was capable of doing. I didn't think--you two had each other, and--"

"We're not you," Tony said brokenly. "We needed you, Gibbs. We needed you."

"I'm so sorry," Gibbs whispered. "Tony, I'm sorry."

"Part of me just wants to--to--" Tony closed his eyes. "I can't just go on my knees for you again, Gibbs. Not--"

"I'm not asking you to." Gibbs took a deep breath. "But will you let me hold you?"

Abby almost held her breath, waiting. Her own hands were twisted together, her rings digging into her skin, and she didn't even notice.

"Yes," Tony breathed.

Gibbs closed his eyes and wrapped his arms tightly around Tony, who made a soft, muffled sound and slowly reached for Gibbs. Tony was trembling, hard enough that Abby could see it; he buried his face in Gibbs' shoulder and held on tight. "Oh, Tony," Gibbs whispered, slowly rubbing Tony's back. "What did I do to you?"

Somehow, they got to the couch, sitting down, and _now_ Abby came and perched on the arm of the couch next to Gibbs. "You broke him," she said softly, reaching out to stroke Tony's hair. "You broke both of us."

Gibbs looked back at her. "Pretty girl," he said as Tony pulled away from him, rubbing his eyes. "Do I have the right?"

Abby swallowed. "Not yet, Gibbs. But--" He held out his arms and she dove into them, falling headlong onto his lap, wrapped tight in his embrace. "If you ever, ever, _ever_ do something like this to us again we will kill you," she said fiercely. "Do you understand?"

"Yes." Gibbs rested his cheek against her hair. "I understand."

"This isn't--we're not yours again, not yet," Tony said huskily. "You haven't earned that yet."

"I know."

Abby pulled back, moving to sit on the arm of the couch. She rubbed her own eyes hard, swallowing. "You can--you can stay here tonight," she said. "If you want."

"Are you sure?" Gibbs looked at her in surprise. "I don't want to rush things, Abby. I want to do this right."

"Just to sleep. I have a spare bed, if we need it. Tony?" She looked over at him.

Slowly, he nodded. "Okay. I think...I think it's a good idea." He smiled a little. "Unlike mine."

"If you're sure." Gibbs looked between both of them.

"We are." Abby reached over Gibbs and squeezed Tony's hand. "Go get your things, Gibbs."

"Okay." Gibbs slipped out from under their hands and stood. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I know I don't deserve this."

Tony smiled a little. "No, you don't. But..." He took a deep breath. "But we love you."

Gibbs held up his right hand, middle and ring fingers tucked in and other three extended. "I'll be back soon," he said before leaving.

Abby looked at Tony. "You okay, baby?" she asked softly.

"I...don't know." Tony closed his eyes. "It's going to take time, Abs."

"Yeah. But I think we're on the way there." She took his hand.

He squeezed gently. "Me too."


	14. Primal Instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The good news is he's awake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of the [Applied Psychology](http://blueraccoon.livejournal.co/tag/pavlov) universe. I've had this unfinished sitting on my hard drive for a while and realized this was the perfect challenge for it, so I dragged it out and managed to finish it. It's a bit longer than your traditional flashfic, but I hope you won't mind.

Title: Primal Instinct  
Author: rebecca  
Rating: R  
Pairing: Gibbs/Abby/Tony  
Summary: The good news is he's awake.  
Notes: Part of the [Applied Psychology](http://blueraccoon.livejournal.co/tag/pavlov) universe. I've had this unfinished sitting on my hard drive for a while and realized this was the perfect challenge for it, so I dragged it out and managed to finish it. It's a bit longer than your traditional flashfic, but I hope you won't mind.

Takes place pre-Hiatus.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

  
In retrospect, it was all crystal clear. The chase. The standoff. Tony diving after the suspect. And the bag of the new designer drug that had been the cause of their month-long investigation--the drug responsible for the deaths of at least six people, including one naval ensign. The scientists weren't quite sure what the actual effects were, only that it was potent, caused hallucinations, and could--in some people--trigger violent psychosis.

Said bag had burst in Tony's face.

"He's still alive," McGee said nervously, looking at the door to Tony's room, where two doctors and a nurse were trying to find out what was wrong. "And we haven't seen anyone running in there."

Gibbs just grunted. That didn't help, not after seeing the way Tony had just crumpled to the pavement. He'd dropped his gun, his eyes had rolled back in his head, and he'd fallen without a sound.

There was a muffled shout from inside the room and the sound of something clattering to the floor. Gibbs tensed, but there was no other sound. "Maybe he just woke up suddenly," McGee offered, fiddling with his watch.

One of the doctors stepped out, looking frazzled. "Well, the good news is that he's awake and his vitals are stable," he said, glancing back inside.

"What's the bad news?" Gibbs demanded.

The doctor sighed. "He's extremely agitated and--as far as we can tell--has no idea where he is. He tried to hit the nurse. He hasn't calmed down at all--we had to restrain him for his own safety."

"You restrained him?" Gibbs wasn't quite sure how he kept his voice calm. From the way the doctor jumped, he wasn't sure he had.

"We had to, Agent Gibbs. For his own sake." The doctor shook his head. "It took all three of us to get them on. And he kept saying something."

He froze. "What did he say?" he asked carefully.

The doctor frowned. "Peppermint," he said. "Does that mean anything to you?"

Gibbs ran into the room. Tony was still fighting the restraints, so hard the bed rails were rattling. "Get out," he growled at the nurse and the other doctor. "Now."

"Agent Gibbs, you can't--" The doctor moved to stop him as he began unfastening the restraints around Tony's wrists.

"He won't settle down if you restrain him. If you want him calm, let him out. And get out. Of. My. Way."

The last buckle opened and the rail swung down. Gibbs had a split second to get out of the way before Tony vaulted off the bed and came up in a defensive crouch. The look on his face was feral; his eyes held nothing of rationality, of _Tony_.

"Tony," he said softly. "Tony, it's Gibbs. You're safe. You're all right."

Tony looked at him, but there was no recognition on his face.

"It's all right," Gibbs said carefully. "They won't tie you again."

Tony growled.

"Whoa, DiNozzo, put some pants on," Ziva said, stopping in the doorway. "Stop trying to charm the nurses for once, okay? I'm sure they've seen it all before."

If she could have said anything worse, Gibbs wasn't sure what. On the other hand, he didn't think Tony understood _what_ she was saying--just the tone of her voice, and her body language.

And that was enough. He lunged for her, snarling, and it took Gibbs, McGee, and one of the doctors to wrestle him back. Ziva went pale, stumbling back a few steps. "What--what did I say?" she stammered.

"He's hallucinating. Or something." Gibbs managed to pin Tony enough that it didn't take the three of them to hold him down. Tony was tense under him but not--for the moment--struggling. "He doesn't know where he is, who anyone is. And right now, you're a threat."

"He needs to be restrained," the doctor insisted. "We can't sedate him, not when we don't know the effects of that drug. And he has to calm down."

"He won't calm down if you restrain him!" Gibbs snapped. "I'm willing to bet that's what _caused_ this. Ziva, McGee, get out of here--go deal with Thompson. And someone get Abby here. Now."

"Abby? Why?"

"Just do it!"

The two of them ran off hastily. Gibbs looked at the doctor and sighed. "Look, doctor. This man may not be rational right now. He has no idea where he is. But he's a fully trained federal agent, and if you try to restrain him I guarantee someone will get hurt--and it won't be him. Let me try to convince him to calm down. Just let me talk to him."

"He doesn't understand you," the doctor protested.

"I just need him to understand the tone, not the words. How long until this stuff works its way out of his system?"

The doctor shook his head. "We don't know. Could be an hour, could be a week. With the dose he got--frankly, it's a wonder he's alive."

Gibbs sighed, carefully releasing his hold on Tony, who straightened up and eyed him suspiciously. But he didn't go after anyone, so Gibbs figured it was an improvement. "You've gotten all the blood and stuff you need, right?"

"Yes, but--"

"Good." Gibbs sighed. "I'd like to take him home, to familiar surroundings, but I'd never get him out of here."

"And I wouldn't let you." There was a note of steel in the doctor's voice. "If he has a seizure, or falls unconscious again--no. He needs to be here, Agent Gibbs."

"Fine. But he doesn't know where he is, and right now I'm the only one he doesn't perceive as some kind of threat. Let me stay with him." Gibbs looked at Tony, who had backed away until he was almost in a corner of the room, eyes darting between Gibbs and the doctor.

"I don't like it."

"I'm not asking you to like it. I'm asking you to let me do it."

The doctor--Jameson, Gibbs noticed absently--grimaced, but nodded. "All right. For tonight only. If he needs to stay after tonight, we'll--"

"We'll negotiate then."

Jameson snorted. "Fine. And as for Abby--who is she?"

Gibbs rubbed a hand over his face. "About the only other person he might not consider a threat right now." He hoped. "If he makes one move toward her, I'll have her out of here."

"What happens if you can't hold him back?"

"He's an NCIS agent. I was a Marine." Gibbs looked at the doctor levelly. "I'm about the only one here who _can_ hold him back, should it be necessary."

Tony took one careful step closer to him. It seemed to be enough; Jameson sighed and nodded. "All right. I'll tell the duty nurse to let--what's her last name?"

"Sciuto. Abby Sciuto. She's hard to miss." Gibbs smiled faintly.

"I'll tell the duty nurse to let her in." Jameson looked at Tony one last time and left.

Okay. Great. Gibbs turned to Tony with a sigh. "Tony," he said gently. "Tony, it's me. It's Gibbs. You're safe. Peppermint, remember?"

Tony twitched at the sound of his safeword but didn't otherwise respond.

"Tony," Gibbs said again, keeping his voice gentle and quiet. "Tony. You're safe."

He didn't think Tony understood him. He was pretty sure Tony didn't see him as a threat, not at the moment. But it was obvious Tony had no idea who he was, and comprehending language didn't seem to be something he was capable of at the moment.

"You're safe," Gibbs repeated. "Peppermint, Tony. I know what it means. I know. You're all right."

Tony frowned slightly. He tilted his head to one side, the expression on his face one of puzzlement. Okay. So he recognized the word, but not necessarily the context.

Well, something was better than nothing.

Slowly, Tony took another step toward him, then another. Gibbs waited, barely daring to breathe; he was reminded of a time he'd lain perfectly still for half an hour while on a field exercise, trying not to startle the deer who'd crossed his path.

The difference being, of course, that Tony wasn't a deer. He was human. A predator. And he wouldn't run away if he got startled. Even like this, confused and disoriented, he was more likely to fight than run. Gibbs wondered just how deep _that_ instinct went--and where it had originated.

Tony stopped just out of arm's reach, studying him carefully. Gibbs wasn't sure what the look on his face meant, but he wished fervently he did. There was no way to tell what he was seeing at the moment, no way to figure out what Tony would respond to or understand.

Gibbs bit back a sigh. "Tony," he said carefully. "Tony, it's Gibbs. It's me."

Once again, he got a flicker but no real recognition. Gibbs wasn't sure what part was even getting to him--his name? Gibbs' name? Or just the tone?

The door clicked open and Tony whirled to face it, dropping into a crouch. "Easy," Gibbs said soothingly. "Easy--Tony, it's all right."

Abby slipped inside and shut the door behind her. "Tony?" she whispered. "Tony, what--"

Gibbs motioned her to silence, waiting to see if Tony would go after her. She stood there, eyes wide, looking between the two of them, clearly unsure what was going on.

One step. Then another. Tony looked more uncertain than anything else, as if he was seeing something he didn't quite understand but didn't consider harmful. He stopped right in front of Abby, barely an inch away from her, and raised a hand to her face. Gibbs tensed--if Tony attacked her now, he wouldn't be able to pull him off in time. But even as he shifted to move, Tony skimmed his fingers over Abby's skin, tracing the outline of her face, her nose, the arch of her eyebrows, her mouth.

Fortunately for all of them, Abby didn't move.

Tony lowered his head, his lips brushing Abby's before he kissed her, slow and thorough, the kind of kiss that always made her melt into his arms. And sure enough, when he pulled away she was looking more than a little dazed.

The smile that flashed over Tony's face was one Gibbs had seen before--pleased, a little arrogant, and pure Tony. He rubbed his cheek against Abby's hair, his arms going around her waist.

"Oh, Tony," Abby whispered. "Where are you in there?"

Gibbs crossed to them silently and rested a hand on Tony's shoulder. As he'd hoped, Tony jumped but didn't move. "Tony," he said softly. "My boy. It's all right."

Tony tightened his hold on Abby.

"It's okay," Abby murmured. "It's okay, Tony." She stroked his hair, lightly scratching her fingers over his neck the way he liked. "It's all right. We've got you. We've always got you."

He seemed to relax a bit from the sound of her voice. When she looked up and kissed him again, gently, Gibbs felt the tension ease.

"C'mon, baby," Abby said gently. "Let's lie down. You must be exhausted." She kept in contact with him, guiding him toward the bed, but Tony froze about two steps away and wouldn't go any closer, even when she tugged on his arm. He growled a little at her--but to Gibbs' surprise, she growled back. "Oh no you don't," she warned him. "You do _not_ get to growl at me, Tony. Now, I'll keep you company, but you are getting into that bed." She pulled again.

Gibbs had to bite back the laugh when Tony followed meekly, crawling into the hospital bed and looking at her with an expression of pure pleading on his face. Abby smiled and kicked off her shoes, climbing in after him. It was crowded, but he wrapped himself around her and closed his eyes, seeming to drift off instantly. Abby stroked his hair and the back of his neck, looking down at him fondly.

"What happened, Gibbs?" she asked quietly. "I was processing evidence--and then Ziva called and told me Tony was in the hospital and you needed me here now and I came, and the nurse said you were in here and to be careful...what happened?"

He sighed and sat down in one of the uncomfortable plastic chairs. "How much do you know about that new drug?" he asked. "Splash, or sploosh, or whatever it's called."

"You had it right the first time, Gibbs." Abby grinned. "It's called Splash, although don't ask me why. The chemical name--"

"Spare me," he said, holding up a hand. "Just tell me the effects."

"That's the problem, Gibbs. There isn't all that much _out_ there, it's so new. It's a hallucinogen--a pretty powerful one. Kind of like LSD, only worse in a way because the effects last longer. It can stay in the bloodstream for days, depending on how it's ingested and the amount of the dose. Did Tony get exposed to it?"

"A bag of the powder--about a dime bag--burst in his face." Gibbs sighed. "And this is what we've got. He doesn't know where he is, as far as I can tell. Ziva said something snippy earlier and he went after her--literally. He woke up extremely agitated, so much so that they had to restrain him. That, by the way, got the only coherent word out of him anyone's heard all night."

Abby snickered. "He safeworded?"

"Yeah. And when I repeated it, he seemed to recognize it. But I can't get him to talk, or visibly recognize me, or anything else. I'm not sure what's going on in his head." Gibbs reached out and stroked Tony's hair. "I thought that the two of us...we might be able to ground him back to reality."

"It's worth a shot. He seems to recognize me, at least." Abby grinned.

"I'm not sure if he recognizes you or if he just sees you as safe, to be honest, Abs."

"Does it matter which right now?" she pointed out. "But--God, Gibbs, with the dosage he got, there's no telling what it could do to him. I'm surprised he's asleep."

Gibbs smiled, shaking his head. "I don't think he is." He snapped his fingers and Tony tensed instantly, eyes wide open as he looked around. "I think he's going along with you."

Abby rolled her eyes. "Nice going, Gibbs."

"I'd rather have him awake than fall asleep and wake up like he did before. The doctor said he was violent--tried to hit a nurse."

"Sure he wasn't hitting _on_ the nurse?" Abby said lightly.

"Not funny, Abs."

"Gibbs, I'm trying to keep from being really scared over here, okay? I don't _know_ what Splash does, or what's going on in Tony's brain. I don't know why he's not talking! LSD doesn't do that, you know?"

"If you had to theorize?" he asked quietly.

She sighed. "I don't have enough data for that."

"Educated guess. C'mon, Abs, you're smarter than the docs here."

"If I absolutely _had_ to guess--based on what I know about LSD and other hallucinogens, and the little info there is on Splash..." Abby sighed. "My guess is that he's experiencing some pretty heavy synesthesia right now. Words are pictures, scent and taste and touch are all mixed up--he doesn't know what he's seeing, what he's feeling, what's real, and he's too caught in it to be able to find his way out. In his mind, he probably _is_ talking. He's clearly got _some_ kind of link to the real world, which is why he was able to respond to me--and Ziva, although in vastly different ways. Some part of him is aware and responding to external stimuli. I just don't know how much, or in what form, or--hey!" Abby squeaked as Tony knelt up, straddling her. He was looking around frantically--but why, Gibbs had no idea.

"Tony?" he asked quietly. "Tony, what is it?"

Tony practically fell off the bed trying to get out of it, scuttling across the floor until he'd backed himself into a corner. He wrapped his arms around his knees and buried his head in his lap; Gibbs was alarmed to see him rocking slightly.

"And sometimes you get paranoia and panic," Abby said, twirling a pigtail around her finger nervously. She slid off the bed and walked over to Tony, crouching in front of him. "Tony? Baby, can you understand me? You in there?"

She reached out to him and he grabbed her wrist tightly before uncurling and pulling her into his lap. He was studying her pigtails, frowning, tugging them experimentally. "Hey!" Abby protested. "Watch the hair, Tony!"

Tony lifted one to his nose, sniffing it carefully. "Black," he whispered, sounding desperately relieved. "Black."

"Uh huh. My hair's black. I make sure of that." She rested a hand on his cheek. "Why does that matter, Tony?"

He buried his face in her neck. "Black," he repeated again.

"What is it, Tony?" she asked softly. "Why does black matter?"

"Because she was blonde," Gibbs said slowly. The pieces were slowly starting to come together and he didn't like the picture they made. "When he woke up, he was agitated, almost violent--the doctors said he was completely disoriented. He probably had no idea..."

"And when they restrained him, his brain latched onto the first thing it remembered," Abby finished, horrified. "Oh God, Gibbs, if he's trapped in that memory..."

"That must be why he went after Ziva. Something she said, something in the way she sounded--he probably thought Ziva was...her." He didn't want to say the name in case Tony reacted to it. "But you..."

"He might remember me. Or he might realize I'm different than Ziva and so I'm not her--I'm not who he thinks is her, anyway." Abby sighed and kissed Tony's head. "God, Gibbs, I don't know how to get him out of this."

"I don't either, Abs." Gibbs rubbed a hand over his face. "I don't know if we can."

"We are not just going to--"

"All I meant, Abby, is that we may just have to let him work through this on his own. We can be here, but we can't drag him out of wherever he is."

"But we can try and guide him," Abby said stubbornly. "I don't know how long the drug will take to wear off, but..."

"We won't leave him alone until then," Gibbs promised her. "We're not going to abandon him, pretty girl."

"Damn right." Abby grinned. "And--ack! Tony!"

He'd raised his head a little and was sniffing at her neck, nuzzling it a little. Gibbs bit back a laugh when he saw Tony trace a line up Abby's throat with the tip of his tongue, biting down behind her ear. "Tony--" Abby said a little breathlessly. "Tony, what--"

His hand slid up her side to cup her breast, thumb rubbing over her nipple. She shivered and swallowed. "Tony," she said again, softly.

Gibbs watched him kiss Abby again, moving her to straddle him, his hands on her hips. "Um--Gibbs?" she asked, twisting to look at him. "What do I do here?"

"See if you can get yourself out of it without setting him off," Gibbs said cautiously. "If I go over there, I'm not sure what he'd do."

"Um--yeah--easier said than done, Gibbs," she said, sounding strangled. Gibbs looked down and saw that Tony's hand was on her thigh, working its way under her skirt.

Hell. He couldn't let Tony continue this--not in the hospital, where anyone could walk in at any time. He eased out of the chair and made his way over to the two of them, crouching down next to them. "Tony," he said quietly. "Tony, you can't."

Tony's free arm tightened around Abby and his other hand disappeared under her skirt completely. Abby gasped; she grabbed Tony's shoulders, her head dropping forward.

"Tony," Gibbs repeated, a little more firmly. He rested his hand on Tony's forearm. "No."

Tony growled at him, deep in his throat. Gibbs gripped his arm a little tighter. "No," he said again.

Abby bit her lip. "Tony," she managed. "Tony, please..."

Gibbs slid his hand up Tony's arm to grip his shoulder. "Peppermint," he said evenly. "Tony--c'mon, I know you're in there. Don't make me smack you."

Tony's arm twisted and Abby gasped.

"Damnit, Tony--" Gibbs smacked him upside the head. "Get your hand out of Abby's skirt. Now."

He was taking a chance and he knew it. But if Tony remembered Kristen because of the restraints...maybe he'd remember Gibbs from the headsmack.

Tony frowned, looked down. "Black?" he asked.

"Yes," Abby said, hiding a laugh.

"Peppermint. Black." Tony frowned again. "Ow." He rubbed the back of his head.

Abby took advantage of his confusion to slide off his lap, sitting against the wall. Her face was flushed and she fanned herself a little. "Whoa," she said. "Even on a bad trip, that's still Tony."

"I wish I knew what was going on in his head," Gibbs admitted.

"It's Tony. He's got sex on the brain. I'm just surprised he hasn't come on to you yet." Abby grinned.

"I'm not," Gibbs said. He looked at Tony, who had pushed himself to his feet and was looking around carefully. "I have a feeling he's always been more submissive with men, and right now that's either not what he's feeling or not what he wants to be feeling. You saw how he was with you. This isn't my boy, Abby, not like you're used to seeing him."

She sighed and rested her head on his shoulder. "If we could get him calm and relaxed, maybe..." Abby shrugged. "Maybe we could get him focused on something other than...her."

"It's possible. I don't know. But I also don't know _how_."

"Sex generally does work with him," Abby said with a snort.

"We're in the middle of a hospital and he's on some kind of acid trip. You really want to risk it?"

"Gibbs, I'd have sex with him in the middle of the hall if I thought it'd help. I'd suck him off in front of _Ziva_ if I thought it stood any chance of snapping him out of this." Abby grinned. "Some days I'd like to do that anyway. And don't tell me Tony wouldn't do it, because he so would."

"I don't want to know. What you two get up to without me--" Gibbs had to laugh. "Is my business," he admitted. "Be nice to Ziva. She's a good agent, and I'd rather not have her leave--or make one of you leave--because she saw something she didn't want to."

"But wouldn't it be fun to see the look on her face?" Abby said cheerfully.

He had to admit--privately--that it would.

Tony looked down at them both before stepping back, toward the bed. He looked around again, up at the ceiling, twitching a little at something he saw. "Tony?" Abby asked hesitantly.

She didn't get an answer, but Tony backed up a little more, looking wary and a little afraid. "Peppermint," he said, scared. "No--"

Abby pushed herself up. "It's all right, Tony," she soothed. "It's all right. No one's going to hurt you."

He flinched like someone had just slapped him. "No," he repeated, stumbling back until he hit the bed and sat down hard.

"Tony," Abby said again, keeping her voice calm. "Tony, you're safe." She crossed to him slowly, keeping her hands out and in the open. "See? It's me. It's Abby. Pigtails and all."

She rested her hands on his arms and slid them up to his shoulders. Tony tensed, trembling, but didn't otherwise move. "Shh," Abby murmured. "Relax, Tony. It's me." She leaned up to kiss him gently; her nails scratched over his neck and his shoulders. "Okay?"

"That might not--" Gibbs watched Tony snag her and tumble her into the bed, burying his face in her throat. He pulled her head back, biting her neck. Abby gasped and Gibbs hid a groan. "Have been the best idea," he finished.

"Whoops." Abby squirmed to try and get out from under Tony and he growled softly. "Hey," she warned him. "I told you before. You don't get to growl at me." She pushed at his shoulders--Gibbs thought she'd have had more luck shoving a brick wall. Tony didn't budge.

He lowered his head again, rubbing his cheek against her throat, settling himself on top of her. "Gibbs?" Abby asked, sounding like she was trying not to laugh. "Um..."

"Is he smothering you?"

"No, he's fine. But--"

"I don't know, Abs. If I try to get him off you there's a chance he'll go after me. Or you. Are you willing to risk it?" Gibbs wasn't sure _he_ was.

"Depends." She turned her head and gave him a patented Abby-grin. "How private is this room?"

"If you're thinking what I think you're thinking, I don't think you should be thinking it," Gibbs said warningly.

"Well, I'm kind of out of other options here. He's too big for me to move, if you try to move he'll probably go after you, and this seems to be the only thing he's aware of. He's latched on to one thing and is focusing on that. Luckily, it's me. Unluckily, it's the sexual aspect." Abby laughed. "Well, sort of unlucky."

Tony licked Abby's throat, nuzzling her jaw. Gibbs recognized the low rumbling sound as one Tony made when he was turned on and relaxed and didn't have the self-consciousness to be embarrassed by sounding rather like a cat. Generally, it also meant that he was deep in headspace.

Then again, Gibbs thought wryly that Tony _was_ in headspace--just the wrong kind.

"Tony--" Abby's voice had the breathless quality Gibbs normally wanted it to have, when they were alone and in bed. But not now. Not here. "I--um--Tony--" She pushed at him again; he responded by kissing her deeply.

Gibbs wondered if heightened sex drive was one of the side effects of Splash or if this was just Tony. He wouldn't be surprised if it was the latter. Odds were Abby was right--this was what Tony was focused on.

He just had no idea how to make Tony focus on something else.

But Abby made a soft sound in her throat and from the look on her face, Gibbs knew she was going to be lost in a moment. He couldn't really blame her, to be honest. To have Tony that intent on her--hell, he couldn't guarantee he'd be able to hold out either.

He sighed and walked over to the bed quietly. "Tony," he said, trying to keep his voice firm but quiet. "Tony, don't do this."

Tony either didn't hear him or ignored him completely. He'd moved down Abby's body a little, his hands pushing up her shirt and his head between her breasts. She was squirming a little, but at this point Gibbs wasn't sure if it was to get away or get more. "Tony," she managed, her head tossing on the pillow. "God, Tony, please..."

Abby was gone and Tony was in no place to even notice him, let alone pay attention. Gibbs swore under his breath--extensively, in multiple languages, and with only the creativity a Marine gunnery sergeant could manage.

Then he went to the door to make certain no one walked in.

Fortunately, it was late and the hall was deserted. And neither Tony nor Abby were making all that much noise, aside from the occasional gasp from Abby and the answering rumble from Tony. Gibbs turned back to look at them and wished he hadn't. The sight was enough to make him half-hard and right now, that was the _last_ thing any of them needed.

It was just a difficult thing to see his girl on her back, arched up under his boy, kissing him, with her skirt up and her panties pushed out of the way. There really wasn't a way _not_ to respond to that.

So he didn't look. He stared out the door, trying not to listen to the shift and rustle of the bed, the soft moan Abby made, the rhythmic low squeak--

Gibbs ground his teeth together hard. "Hell," he muttered.

Abby cried out softly and he couldn't help but turn around. The flushed, pleased look on her face was one he knew all too well, as was the languid way she sank back against the bed, her eyes fluttering closed. Tony buried his face in her neck and groaned before nearly falling on top of her.

At least they were done. Gibbs sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Think you can get him settled now, Abs?" he asked wearily.

"I can try." She yawned and pushed at Tony--this time he seemed willing to ease off her and lie down on the bed, a pleased smile on his face. But when she tried to slide out of bed he snaked an arm around her waist and held on tight.

"I think you're stuck," Gibbs told her.

"Could be worse." Abby shifted and stroked Tony's hair. "And who knows? Maybe he'll calm down for the night now."

"It's possible." Unlikely, but possible. He wasn't a scientist; he had no idea what effect sex--and orgasm--had on this damn thing.

Gibbs sighed and sat down in the uncomfortable plastic chair next to the bed. Tony looked fairly close to the way he usually did after sex--relaxed, sated, with a faint smile on his face and a sleepy look in his eyes. But the tension in his body hadn't entirely gone away and Gibbs saw him looking around the room, scanning it, watching for...something.

He heard a sound outside and got up, keeping one eye on Tony as he walked over to the door. Tony's eyes followed him, but he didn't let go of Abby or get up, even when Gibbs opened the door slightly. Gibbs thanked Heaven for small favors and looked at the nurse standing there. "Yes?" he asked quietly.

"I need to check on him," she said.

Gibbs sighed. "Any chance it can wait?"

"No," she said with a wry smile. "Any chance he won't try to hit me?"

"I can't guarantee that." Gibbs stepped aside. "But I'll do my best."

"I'll make this quick." She walked over to the bed, looking at Tony. "All right," she said, managing to sound cheerful and relaxed. "This won't take long."

Tony watched her warily. He didn't back away, but he gave the impression of doing so, and when the nurse reached for his arm he flinched.

"It's okay, baby," Abby murmured. She pushed herself up to sit next to him. "Just let her do her job, okay?"

Gibbs wasn't sure if it was having Abby in the bed with him, or whether this was familiar, or what it had been, but Tony let the nurse take his blood pressure and his temperature without a fuss. "Is he coherent yet?" she asked, writing the results down on Tony's chart.

"Not really," Abby admitted. "He's clearly aware of the outside world and he's able to respond to some external stimuli, but he's not talking and I don't know if he understands spoken language."

The nurse nodded. "At least he's responding," she commented. "That's a good sign."

"We hope." Abby sighed and looked at Tony.

"Has he eaten anything?" the nurse asked.

Gibbs shook his head. "Not since this morning."

"I'll send up a tray. That might help--and before you say anything, I'll try and make it something he'd be likely to eat." She smiled. "Thanks."

"Sure." Gibbs watched her leave, as did Tony. Once she was gone, Tony relaxed a bit, nuzzling into Abby's shoulder. She sighed and kissed his hair.

"My poor Tony," she murmured.

"He'll be all right," Gibbs said with more conviction than he felt. "He's strong, and he's healthy. We just have to wait for him to come out of it."

"I have no idea how long that'll take," Abby said, biting her lip. "I don't know anything here."

Gibbs reached out and squeezed her hand. "We'll get through this, Abby. Do you want to go back to your lab and see if you can run any tests on the drug?"

She looked uncertain--torn, Gibbs knew, between the need to find out anything she could about the drug and the need to stay with Tony. "I don't even know if he'll let me leave," she said, looking down at Tony's arm around her waist.

"I don't either." For better or worse, Tony seemed to have latched on to Abby as his touchstone and wasn't letting go. Gibbs was grateful, even as he knew he'd have some questions to answer later.

The door swung open and Gibbs blinked, turning to look. It was too soon for the food, so...

"Jethro?"

Or maybe those questions would be sooner rather than later. Gibbs swore under his breath and got up, walking over to the door. "Director Shepard," he said, noticing the neat blue suit and sensible heels. She'd come right from the office, then.

"I came to see how Agent DiNozzo was," she said.

"We're not sure." Gibbs sighed and looked at the bed. Abby was sitting up, Tony lying next to her, but his eyes were focused on the two of them. "He's conscious, but...I don't know if he's entirely aware of his surroundings. He's not really speaking and I don't know if he understands language."

Jen nodded. "And I assume there's a reason Miss Sciuto's in his bed?"

Gibbs rubbed a hand over his face. "They're good friends, and so far she's the only one he's responded favorably to. I'm not about to leave him alone with her, not when there's a chance that'll change." He shrugged. "He's already gone after Ziva."

"I know." Jen looked past him, at the bed. "How long--"

"We've got no idea, Jen. Could be tomorrow, could be a week from now. There's just not enough information out there." Gibbs sighed again. "Put him on sick leave, and put me on...something. I'm not leaving him alone until he's out of this."

"I can't authorize that, Jethro. With one agent out, I can't afford you as well." Jen shook her head. "I'm sorry, but I can't."

Gibbs wasn't surprised. He shrugged and met her eyes. "You either put me on personal time or accept my resignation," he said matter-of-factly. "Tony's my best agent, and I'm not leaving him alone until he's better."

Something passed over Jen's eyes. "You wouldn't have done that for me, Jethro. You wouldn't have done that for any agent, no matter how valuable they were. What's going on?"

"Don't ask the question if you don't want to know the answer," he said quietly.

Her eyes widened, then narrowed. "Do you have any idea what you just implied?" she asked in a whisper--almost a hiss. "Do you have _any_ idea--"

"Tony's my best agent, Director Shepard, and right now he's unstable, volatile--to say the least--and potentially dangerous. I'm probably the only one who can handle him if need be. I'd suggest we leave it at that." Gibbs didn't back down, and in the end, Jen looked away.

"I'm going to have to ask someday, Jethro," she said softly.

"No, you won't." Gibbs looked back at Tony. "Don't ask if you don't want to know, Jen."

She shook her head. "I'll help you out this time, Jethro. I'll put you on personal leave. And I'll give Miss Sciuto a couple of days, since she seems to be helping. That's the best I can do. But there's a limit to what I can ignore, and someday..." Jen sighed. "If you'll excuse me, I have some reports to go fudge."

"Jenny." Gibbs caught her arm as she turned to leave. "Thank you."

Her smile was brittle. "For your sake, I hope he gets better quickly. Or I won't be the only one asking questions." She left, heels clicking on the tile.

As she left, an orderly came in carrying a tray. "If you two are staying overnight, I can probably get you something too," he said, handing the tray to Gibbs. "It'll be hospital food, but it'll be edible."

Gibbs smiled. "We'd appreciate that. Coffee, too, if you've got any."

"It'll look like coffee, but I can't guarantee what it'll taste like." The orderly grinned and left, rubber-soled shoes squeaking a bit.

The coffee wasn't as bad as cop coffee. The food--well, it was hospital food. Tony eyed it warily and left it alone until Abby took a bite of the sandwich. He still waited a good twenty minutes after that, but Gibbs was pleased to see him eat it.

As the night wore on, Abby drifted off, tucked against Tony, her head in the crook of his neck. Tony held her close and studied Gibbs, eyes wary. Gibbs kept his body language unthreatening and his voice quiet as he talked to Tony, trying to ground him back into reality.

"You were such a cocky pain in the ass when I hired you," Gibbs said, smiling a little. "Some things don't change. You just...you knew what you were doing, I'll give you that, but..." He grinned, shaking his head. "You reminded me of me, a bit."

Tony stroked Abby's hair, watching Gibbs, and said nothing. Gibbs took a swallow of cold coffee and kept talking. The sky went from black to deep blue to gray as the sun rose, and Gibbs reached for his coffee and found it empty.

"I promised you I'd take care of you," he said, looking at Tony, whose eyes had finally slid shut. "I promised I'd give you what you needed. I'm not going to leave you alone through this, Tony. Abby and I'll take care of you until you come out of it." There was no alternative.

Tony was still asleep--or pretending to be--when the nurse came in to take his morning vitals. He slitted his eyes open but as before, didn't protest. Gibbs wondered what he was seeing, what was going on in his head.

Abby woke up when the doctors came in. She slipped out of the bed, straightening her clothes and her pigtails. "He seems calmer, at least," she said to Gibbs.

Gibbs nodded. "Yeah, he does." Tony was still eyeing the doctors warily, but every now and then he frowned, as though there was something going on he didn't quite understand.

After a few minutes of discussion, Jameson came over to Gibbs and Abby. "His vitals are good, he looks calm, and we're thinking familiar surroundings might be best for him at this point. From the limited data we have, we think that if he were going to have a negative reaction to the drug, it'd have happened by now. Most of the deaths caused by it happened within the first twelve hours."

"So we can take him home?" Abby asked.

Jameson glanced back at where Tony was sitting on the bed, watching them intently. "Yes. But I want a promise that you'll call _immediately_ if anything happens, good or bad."

"We will," Gibbs said. Abby nodded.

"Okay." Jameson scratched his beard. "I'll write up the discharge papers and get him a set of scrubs to wear."

"Thank you," Abby said, impulsively giving him a hug. Gibbs happened to be glancing over at Tony then and saw him grin.

Well, that was promising.

They got Tony home by midday. Abby went to make lunch, but Tony was prowling around the house. The puzzled look was coming more frequently, like he almost but not quite understood where he was. Gibbs took it as a good sign; maybe it meant he was starting to come out of this.

Tony headed up the stairs and Gibbs followed him, watching as he peered into the bathroom and sniffed the shampoos and various body products Tony and Abby insisted were necessary. He smiled when he uncapped Abby's shampoo, but not his own, which Gibbs thought was interesting.

When he went into the bedroom, Gibbs realized about ten seconds too late that the cuffs were still there, attached to the headboard--they got used so frequently that putting them away was more of a pain than it was worth. He stepped in, but Tony had already seen them and was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding one in his lap. His fingers stroked over the smooth leather, the metal buckles, and he frowned, clearly thinking about something.

At least there wasn't much in the line of fire if he got upset, Gibbs thought.

"Pretty girl," Tony said softly, affectionately. He looked down at the cuffs again. "Pretty girl."

Gibbs almost held his breath as Tony looked up at him.

"Master," Tony said, barely audible. He frowned, shook his head. "No--yes? Master?"

"Yes," Gibbs said, taking a chance and sitting down next to Tony, resting his hand on Tony's back. "My boy."

Tony smiled, almost shyly, and leaned against Gibbs. He yawned, covering his mouth with a hand.

"Sleep, Tony," Gibbs said, rubbing his back. "Abby and I'll take care of you."

"Master," Tony murmured, lying down with his head in Gibbs' lap.

Abby came upstairs carrying a tray of sandwiches. "Has he said anything else?" she asked, setting the tray down on the nightstand and taking a seat on Gibbs' other side.

"Pretty girl," Gibbs said. "And he called me Master and seemed to know what it meant." He snagged a sandwich with his free hand. "I think he's starting to come out of it."

"I hope so," Abby said, taking a sandwich of her own. She sighed. "Why does this crap always happen to him?"

Gibbs turned to look at her. "And who tried to kill you in your own lab?"

"He set Tony up for murder first," Abby pointed out.

She had a point there. Gibbs shook his head and took a bite of his sandwich.

Tony slept through most of the afternoon. Gibbs managed to get him under the covers after lunch by crawling under them himself. Tony snuggled up against him, tucking his head into the crook of Gibbs' neck the way he usually did, and Gibbs held him, eventually dozing off himself.

When he woke, it was dusk outside and Tony was watching him. "Master," he said, leaning up to kiss Gibbs lightly. "Thank you."

Gibbs had no idea what Tony was thanking him for. "You're welcome," he said, running his fingers through Tony's hair.

Tony smiled. "The world's underwater," he said softly, looking around. "It doesn't fit."

"It will," Gibbs promised. "It will, Tony." Underwater gave him a better idea of where Tony was at this point. The drug was clearly wearing off, but it wasn't out of his system yet.

Tony nodded and stretched. "Shower," he said.

"You need one," Gibbs told him frankly. Tony grinned sheepishly, ducking his head. He pushed himself up, shaking his head as if to clear it.

"Abby?" Tony asked, hesitating before getting out of bed.

"On the computer," Gibbs told him. "She's fine."

Tony nodded. Gibbs sat up, watching him make his way to the bathroom, but Tony seemed steady enough, and Gibbs didn't hear any crashes or bangs or shouts. He scrubbed his hands through his hair and blew out a breath. The worst appeared to be over. 


End file.
